Picking Up The Pieces
by PhoenixNL
Summary: My way to make the ending of ME3 make sense. Major spoilers for the end of ME3. Definite Shenko!
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I found the ending of ME3 to be disappointing, to put it mildly! So I decided to write something that made sense of the threads we'd been left with. This is my first ever fanfic so I would appreciate any feedback just please be gentle! ;o) Thanks for reading!**_

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The incessant beeping was the first thing to creep into her consciousness. As she slowly fought through the fog in her mind she became aware of the constant murmur of voices and sound of footsteps passing nearby.

_Where the hell am I?_

Adrenaline started to pump through her body as it prepared to fight in the face of the unknown. The beeping sound increased in intensity, ringing in her ears. Finally she managed to force her eyes open, wincing at the sterile white light of the room. Blinking her eyes adjusted and she realized she was in a hospital –AGAIN - Shepard muttered an expletive as she saw the IV and wires attached to her. She took a deep breath to calm her heart rate as she took stock of her surroundings.

The small room was bare except for the bed she currently occupied, the medical equipment she was strapped to and one small metal folding chair that had clearly seen better days. There were no windows or notices on the walls to give her any clues to where she had ended up.

Hell, at least this time the place wasn't blowing up around her. She grunted in discomfort as she tried to push herself up. Pain shot through her side and she gingerly felt her ribs, a breath hissing out as she found a couple that must have been cracked when she'd been hit by Harbinger's laser on the way to the beam. Her muscles were stiff as she moved, her body throbbing as barely healed injuries protested against her efforts to sit up. Clearly she had been out for a while.

The last thing she remembered was the explosion on the Citadel throwing her backwards. The impact must have knocked her out cold but how had she managed to get to a hospital? There was no subtle hum of a drive core which meant she wasn't on a ship. Had the Citadel somehow managed to survive the Crucible firing? Had it destroyed the Reapers?

Gritting her teeth she pulled out the IV and peeled the electrodes monitoring her vitals from her skin. It took sheer force of will but she managed to swing her legs over the edge of the bed and gingerly place her feet on the cold floor.

_Easy does it_, she thought as she slowly shifted her weight forward. Her legs trembled with the effort but at least they were supporting her.

A sudden dull boom sounded outside the building, making the floor tremble underfoot and pitching her forward against the wall. Shit the Reapers were still out there! She had to move, to find out what was happening. Pain lanced through her body as she dragged the door open and stumbled out into the hallway. There were a few people in the narrow corridor but they seemed oblivious to the danger bearing down on them. Holding her left arm stiff against her cracked ribs she staggered forward, almost losing her footing again as another explosion shook the building.

_I've got to move. I've got to get these people out of here._ Drawing on her reserves of strength she straightened, only dimly hearing the sound of running footsteps behind her.

"Commander Shepard!" a voice tinged with urgency called out. "Commander STOP!"

A hand grabbed her arm as she stepped forward, drawing her up short. The doctor frowned at her as she tried to stop Shepard from moving.

"We need to get out of here. It's not safe. The Reapers are out there! You need to get your people to safety." Shepard's voice was rough and strained from the effort she'd expended getting out of the bed.

"The Reapers were destroyed when you activated the Crucible, Commander." The doctor reassured her, expertly manoeuvring her back into the room.

"But there were explosions a minute ago." Confused Shepard sat back on the edge of the bed, her body shaking with the exertion and the fading adrenaline.

"A Reaper fell not far from here. The Alliance has teams doing controlled demolitions to help clear some of the rubble." The doctor's voice was sympathetic as she spoke while scanning Shepard with her omni tool. "You've been unconscious for over two weeks."

"So who are you and where am I?"

The doctor gave a smile, making her look years younger than she was despite the greying hair she'd pulled back in a bun. "I'm Doctor Laurens and you're in London. Admiral Hackett had you medevac'd here when they found you."

"And my team? Did they make it?" Shepard's vision was starting to blur at the edges as she gripped the side of the bed to keep her balance.

"I'm sorry Commander, I don't know about your team. We've received a lot of wounded because of this damned war. Not all of them will make it."

She pinned the woman with a hard gaze, needing to know the truth. "How bad was I doc?"

Helping her back into a reclining position, Dr. Laurens raised the head of the bed so that Shepard was sitting slightly more upright. "You were in bad shape when they found you. You'd lost a lot of blood and there was major internal haemorrhaging. Thankfully what was left of your armour did its job and protected you long enough to get you to a medical facility. But your wounds are still healing."

She grimaced, "Yeah I noticed."

"Well staggering through the corridors in search of another battle isn't exactly going to help your recovery Commander." Laurens flashed her a disapproving look, "Though how you thought you were going to take on more Reapers in your condition is beyond me."

Shepard gave her a wry smile, "Someone had to do it."

The doctor gave a snort of laughter, "Well luckily for you that's one battle you don't have to have. I need you to stay here and rest. Your body is healing and your cybernetics took a hit. We don't want them failing because you're putting your body through too much stress too soon."

"Wait, my implants are still functioning?" Shepard demanded.

Surprised, the doctor nodded. "Of course they are Commander. They took some damage but those are high quality implants you have so there was no need to replace them. Now I'm going to inform Admiral Hackett that you've woken up. Given how often he asks for updates on your condition I imagine he's going to want to speak to you immediately." She paused at the door, giving Shepard a stern look, "Try and stay in your bed this time Commander."

Shepard barely noticed the woman leave. Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble in her mind as she tried to process the situation. The Catalyst had told her that choosing to destroy the Reapers would result in the destruction of all synthetic life, including her implants. It had been a heart-breaking decision but there had been no choice except to destroy the Reapers for good. As she'd raised her gun to fire the decisive shots she had been prepared to die, willing to sacrifice herself for the lives she was dooming by her decision. But somehow she had survived and the guilt of it lay heavily on her shoulders.

If her implants were still functioning could it mean that the Catalyst had lied? A spark of hope flared inside her. If her cybernetics were unaffected then perhaps EDI and the Geth had survived the blast that had disabled the Reapers. She had no way of knowing that until she heard from Hackett and Shepard knew there would be no easy way to justify her choice, should her hope prove to be false. At least Hackett would know what had happened to her crew. God, she didn't even know if any of them had survived Harbinger's attacks which inevitably brought her thoughts to the one person she'd fought so hard to survive for.

_Kaidan._ He was there in her mind's eye. Had he made it? The thought that she might have lost him while she had somehow survived tore at her and she had to force the image away. She angrily wiped away the stray tear that slipped down her cheek. No he was a fighter, he would have a found a way. That's what he'd always told her, to always leave a way out. _I promised I would be waiting for you. Where are you?_


	2. Chapter 2

Hackett had aged since she'd last seen him. There were more lines carved across his features and his shoulders were stooped as if tired of the burdens he had carried through the war. His dress blues looked a little the worse for wear but his smile was genuine when he saw her. Standing at ease beside her bed, hands loosely clasped behind his back he was still a force to be reckoned with if the look in his eyes was anything to go by.

"Commander, it's good to see you awake. You had us worried for a bit there. How are you feeling?"

"Not quite ready for another war yet, Sir." She replied wryly.

He chuckled, "Thanks to you it looks like this war is over. I don't know what you did up there Shepard but it was some damned fine work."

"Thank you Sir." Shepard swallowed hard as guilt reared up and grabbed her by the throat, "What about casualties?"

"The ground teams sustained heavy casualties but they managed to hold out our defensive positions until you activated the Crucible. Most of Hammer was wiped out but the remaining troops were able to rally and bolster the flanks. You put together an incredibly talented group of people Commander, their help was invaluable." He paused, "The fleet survived with fewer losses than we expected. We lost a number of dreadnoughts, heavy cruisers and a few smaller frigates but it could have been much worse. Some of the ships were disabled when the Citadel exploded but they'll be operational again once we've managed to complete the repairs. The Quarian and Geth fleets have managed to help dry dock a few of the smaller vessels until then."

"The Geth?" Relief washed over her.

"Yes they have proven to be staunch allies in this war Commander, I'm glad you managed to get them on side. To be honest we've needed every bit of help we could get trying to locate the wreckage from the Citadel. There were a lot of survivors that managed to close off sections before the explosion and that kept them safe until our teams were able to recover them but we still haven't located them all." He shook his head sadly, "It sounds like it got pretty rough up there."

Her voice threatened to crack on the words but she forced them out, "What about my crew? What about the Normandy?"

Hackett was silent for a long moment and her heart squeezed painfully, fearing the worst. Finally he sighed, "Shepard, I ordered your crew back to the Normandy when we knew you and Anderson had made it through the beam. We needed the Council extracted and the Normandy with her stealth systems was the best suited to get in without drawing the Reaper's attention."

Shepard knew Hackett well enough to see the truth in his words while recognizing that there was something he wasn't telling her.

"Where are my ship and crew Sir?" She demanded with more force than was appropriate for addressing a superior officer but she didn't care, her concern for her crew overriding everything else.

"Frankly, we don't know. As the Crucible fired the Normandy was getting out of range of the Reapers. We lost comms with them soon after."

She struggled for calm as his words sank in, fighting to hold back the tears that threatened. Her ship, her friends and Kaidan were all gone, either dead or trapped outside the Sol system. Holding onto her composure through sheer force of will she fought off the despair that threatened to wash over her. This was not the time to lose control. But Hackett must have seen something in her face.

"I'm sorry Commander. There's a chance that your crew has simply been unable to contact us and with the relays destroyed there's no easy way to get back to the system." He gave her a sympathetic look, "We still need you out there Shepard."

"You said the war was over and the Reapers were destroyed." God he couldn't ask more of her, not now. Not when she was lying here broken physically and emotionally.

"It is but that doesn't mean the hard work is over. With the relays gone and ships disabled we have the fleets of every species trapped in our system. The Asari claim they have a way of repairing the relays but it's going to take time. Until then we have limited food and medical resources available and no obvious way for our allies to get back to their home worlds. That's a potentially explosive situation and we need someone to keep them from going to war with each other before we sort this out."

"I'm a soldier Sir, not a diplomat."

Hackett fixed her with a stern look, "With Anderson gone you're the best we've got. You're a Council Spectre and you brought them all together, cured the genophage and brokered peace between the Quarians and the Geth. No one else could have done what you did. They respect you Commander and they will listen to you."

"If that's what you need me to do." Years of training and duty pushed to the fore, giving him the words he was expecting to hear even though she knew she couldn't face it yet. But there was one more thing she knew she couldn't leave unsaid. "I'm sorry about Anderson, Sir. There was nothing I could do to save him."

He dismissed her apology immediately. "He was a fine soldier and a better friend but Anderson knew the risks, as did you. I know you did your best Shepard. Now we just need to figure out how to manage the resources we have left. Earth is in one hell of a mess. Lucky for us we still have you and that's a big shot in the arm for the Alliance." He readied himself to leave, "Get some rest while you can Commander. We need you out there and I'll be damned if this is going to be easy."


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was shining brightly the day they buried Anderson. The battle for London had left the cemetery unscathed, save for a collapsed wall and now with the arrival of spring flowers were beginning to bloom there once again. The trees surrounding the quiet burial spot still stood proudly with their branches swaying gently in the breeze, laden with new leaves. If you blocked out the destruction clearly visible beyond the gates you could almost convince yourself that nothing had happened.

Hackett's team had managed to recover Anderson's body from the section of the Citadel that had brought her home. She supposed it was fitting that he was being buried in the same city he had been born in but it didn't make the loss any easier to bear. There was even talk of a memorial being erected in the remains of Hyde Park to immortalize him and the sacrifices of those they had lost. The whole scene struck Shepard as wrong as the first volley of the 21 gun salute cracked through the still morning air.

_It should be me in that box._ The thought had gone through her head too many times to count during the funeral as she had listened to the other Admirals deliver their eulogies. When it had been her turn she had stood before the assembled mourners with survivor's guilt pressing heavily on her heart.

The new dress blues were still stiff with starch and pressed uncomfortably against the bandages but there had been no chance that Shepard was going to miss saying one last goodbye to her friend and mentor. Not far from her Kahlee Sanders choked back a sob, trying to keep her composure amongst the military brass that surrounded them.

_I guess you'll never be able to show me London._ As the other mourners drifted away Shepard stepped forward and placed her hand on the coffin, unable to stop the tear that slipped down her cheek. _We gave them hell. People are starting to rebuild and there's hope for the future. I couldn't have done it without you._

"He was proud of you." Kahlee's voice was quiet beside her as the attendants began lowering his coffin into the grave. The Alliance flag that had been draped over the coffin during the funeral had been folded and handed to her and the petite woman clutched it to her chest like a lifeline. "Over all the years we knew each other you were the closest thing to a daughter he ever had." She indicated the flag. "I know they only gave me this because you spoke to Admiral Hackett."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Anderson always said that if he survived the war he was going to find you again."

A small sad smile crossed the other woman's lips, "You always think that you have all of the time in the world. It was just never the right time for us. He was a good man Commander."

"The best."

As shuttles began departing a young officer hurried up to where they stood, nervously trying to get Shepard's attention.

"Commander, your shuttle is here to take you back to HQ."

She nodded her acknowledgement but indicated for him to give her a moment. Turning back to Kahlee she asked, "So where do you go from here?"

"Well I still have Jack and my students so until we can get back to Grissom Academy we're going to find a place to set up here."

"Good luck with that and with Jack."

Kahlee gave a small huff of laughter. "I think I might need it. You take care Commander, let's hope the battles you have to fight now don't require as many guns."

Shepard shook her head ruefully before stepping away from the gravesite. _Goodbye Anderson. I hope you found peace. We'll make you proud._

Turning away she strode towards the shuttles. It had been just under a month since she had triggered the Crucible and her wounds still weren't fully healed. She could feel the fatigue in her body but knew she couldn't afford to rest now. Hackett had been right that the hard work had to go on and it was obvious that tensions were already rising between species forced to share such limited space and resources. The disappearance of the Council aboard an Alliance vessel was not helping to ease tensions and it was only the fact that it had been the Normandy extracting them that kept a lid on that problem.

Against the advice of Dr. Laurens, Hackett had secured Shepard's release from the hospital. His only concession had been to keep her from returning to active duty until it was medically cleared. Shepard hated sitting behind a desk but anything was better than the inactivity of being stuck in hospital. For now she had to coordinate the teams of marines tasked with sweeping the city and surrounding areas for any remaining hostile forces and securing the areas so that the search for survivors could begin. Once the area had been cleared the reconstruction teams could move in to clear debris and begin the arduous task of rebuilding.

It wasn't just the physical wounds that were keeping her out of the field and she didn't need a psych report to tell her that. The effort it had taken to bring all of the different races together to fight the Reapers had nearly broken her and with her crew missing Shepard was struggling to keep the despair at bay. Their faces haunted her at night, the dreams making her turn to seek the comfort of Kaidan's arms only to be reminded that he was gone as well. So she threw herself into the work, grateful for anything that would stop her from focussing on the unknown. She had to believe that they'd survived and that they were out there waiting to come home. The alternative would break her.

Pushing those thoughts out of her mind, Shepard stepped onto the shuttle only to stop in surprise at the familiar face waiting for her.

"Miranda! What are you doing here?"

"Good to see you again Shepard. I was sure neither of us was going to make it through that fight alive but here we are." Miranda smiled and tossed her a datapad. "I brought you something."

"What's this?"

"That's all the information Cerberus had on the relays." At Shepard's disbelieving look Miranda arched an elegant brow. "I know the Alliance is working with the Asari to repair them. The Illusive Man was interested in anything that could give humanity the edge. Unlocking the technology behind the relays would have given Cerberus a huge advantage and with him gone the information can finally be put to some good use."

"Is there anything that gets past you? Wait, don't answer that." Shepard sat across from her as the shuttle lifted off the ground. "So far the Salarians, Quarians and Geth are all helping. I guess it's in everyone's best interests to get them fixed."

"Exactly, which is why I thought you could use whatever data I could get."

Shepard watched her thoughtfully. "I appreciate it Miranda and it's good to see you but why bring this to me in person? Why not just send it to Admiral Hackett yourself?"

"I suppose I wanted to see for myself that you were alright." Miranda hesitated, "You're my friend Shepard, you helped me save my sister and give us both a future without my father. With the Normandy gone I thought you could use the help. I know you want to find them."

"I don't even know where to start looking but I'll be glad to have a friendly face around."

Miranda laughed, "You're the biggest hero in the galaxy right now, the one who took down the Reapers. You've got friendly faces everywhere."

Shepard bit out a harsh laugh, "No I'm surrounded by star-struck recruits that fall over themselves to speak to me and Admirals who are busy trying to order me onto the next mission. I need people who I can work with and don't get hung up on the image the Alliance is trying to paint of me."

Miranda smirked. "Well you don't need to worry about that from me, Commander. You should know that much by now."

She was quiet for a long moment. "We have to find them Miranda."

"Of course. We managed to defeat the Collectors and the Reapers. What's finding one ship compared to that?"

Shepard could only hope that Miranda was right.


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken another couple of weeks and some arm twisting from Hackett but her return to active duty was finally signed off. To celebrate Miranda had managed to get hold of a brand new set of N7 armour identical to the one destroyed during the ground battle and the trip through the beam. Shepard wasn't going to question how she'd managed to get it with Earth in the mess that it was but she was grateful. When she'd jokingly suggested needing to wear it in Miranda had given her a look that would have sent anyone else running for the hills.

She wouldn't have minded having the armour on today as she and Miranda waited for the shuttle to dock with the Destiny Ascension. The Alliance hadn't wanted the other races to set up base camps on Earth so that their people could focus on rebuilding. Instead the Asari had stepped forward and offered up the Ascension as a neutral ground for discussion and negotiation. According to Hackett that was what Wrex was busy doing right now and if it was enough to get Shepard on a shuttle, he wasn't being diplomatic. So here she was, about to be stuck between angry Krogan and Turians and she had to leave the armour behind because she was supposed to play nice. Damn she hated politics.

"I can't believe Wrex is threatening the Turian Primarch." Miranda shook her head as they moved into docking position.

"Wrex and Bakara had just secured a future for Tuchanka when he went to help the Turians." Shepard reminded her. "Hell I'm surprised he managed to wait this long."

"That damned Krogan is going to start another war if he's not careful."

Shepard sighed, "And we're the lucky ones who get to stop that from happening."

A couple of Asari commandos were waiting for them when they docked. With barely a word they led the way through the labyrinth of hallways and levels until they finally arrived at a large open conference room where Wrex was busy telling the Turian Primarch where he could stick large portions of his fleet.

As she entered Primarch Victus turned towards her with as close to a look of relief as you could see with a Turian.

"Commander Shepard, thank you for coming."

Distracted from his rant Wrex grinned before smacking a beefy hand across her back. "Shepard! So those idiots finally let you out from behind that desk."

Having managed to keep herself from wincing at Wrex's enthusiastic clap on her new scars she couldn't help but grin at him. "Good to see you made it without getting too much uglier Wrex."

As he laughed she turned her attention to the Turian. "Primarch Victus, it's good to see you again."

He inclined his head, "And you as well Commander. I'm pleased that you managed to activate the crucible in time. It's simply unfortunate that there was no way to stop the relays being so badly damaged."

"Trust me Primarch, if there had been any other way I would have taken it."

"No one's stupid enough to doubt you Shepard." Wrex's voice boomed through the room. At her raised eyebrow he grinned. "Well, not now anyway."

Crossing her arms across her chest she pinned Wrex with a hard look. "Appreciate it Wrex, now you want to tell me why I've been dragged all the way up here to deal with your sorry ass?"

"What? I was just explaining to the Turian about how the Krogan want some of their old planets back."

"Wrex." She drew his name out with a frown.

He lifted his hands defensively, "It was just Krogan hot air until _he_," he thrust his chin towards the Primarch, "decided it wasn't up to the Krogan to reclaim their own planets."

Victus gave a deep sigh, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "I was merely explaining that they couldn't simply make demands, that it requires discussion. No one wants to see a repeat of the Krogan Rebellions."

Wrex stormed up to the Primarch, thrusting his face close. "My people have a right to those planets!"

"Settle down Wrex. You know that this is something that needs to be presented to the council and not something that can be agreed with only the Primarch present."

Wrex threw his hands up, growling in frustration. "I need to give my people something Shepard. This many Krogan living on ships is unnatural."

"So how do we fix this for now?"

By the time they were finished Shepard had managed to get Krogan troops on the ground to help with rebuilding projects and the Turians to increase the number of fliers doing supply runs for the other fleets. Exhausted and starving she mentally debated whether to try and find some food on the Asari ship or just head back to the shuttle.

"Well that was fun." Miranda remarked dryly. "It only took three hours to get them to see reason. Oh, and your promise to personally help the Turians retake Palaven."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck tiredly. "Don't forget I need to be there when Wrex presents his requests to the Council."

Miranda smirked, "Rather you than me Shepard."

As they made their way back to the shuttle a lone Asari commando stepped in front of them, blocking their path.

"I need you to come with me." Her voice brooked no argument. "There's someone who wishes to speak with you."

Miranda opened her mouth to reply but Shepard raised a hand to stop her. "Who?"

"Someone you've worked with before Commander."

Without another word she turned and led the way deeper into the ship, clearly expecting to be followed.

"This day just keeps getting better." She muttered.

Sharing an uneasy look both women checked their weapons before following the Asari. Shepard found herself wishing for the protection of her armour for a second time that day as they passed through the engineering sections of the ship and towards one of the smaller cargo holds. Shepard kept her hand resting on the grip of her pistol as the commando opened a door and motioned them inside.

Miranda gave a subtle nod to indicate she was ready for any trouble and the tiniest flickers of biotic energy flared around her hands. Stepping into the room Shepard stopped dead in her tracks.

"Aria?" she asked in disbelief.

The former queen of Omega turned from the small window overlooking Earth.

"Shepard, I see you've managed to survive another suicide mission. Such a shame that your crude methods destroyed the relays and the Citadel as well. It was a political hellhole but I didn't care for it being blown up around me."

"Good to see that you made it out in one piece."

Aria arched a haughty brow. "I'm touched Shepard but you didn't really think Reapers were going to stop me did you?" she flicked away the question with a wave of her hand. "You also disposed of the Illusive Man and I was so looking forward to getting my revenge on him."

"Sorry to spoil your fun Aria." Shepard drawled sarcastically.

"Funny." Her features twisted in disgust as she glanced out of the window. "Thanks to you I am stuck in this system with a merc army in the middle of every damned fleet in the galaxy instead of taking back Omega from Cerberus. So I have a proposition for you."

Shepard restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Crossing her arms over her chest she rocked back on her heel knowing that whatever Aria had in mind was going to come with a lot of strings attached.

"It seems we find ourselves in need of each other's help again."

"How do you figure that?"

"It's no secret that the Normandy disappeared with the entire Council, your crew and a certain Alliance soldier you were more than friendly with." There was a sly gleam in Aria's eyes as she watched Shepard's reaction. She must have given something away because the Asari's lips curled into a mocking smile. "Knowing you I know you're going to try and find them as soon as the relays are repaired if only to be the good little soldier the Alliance expects by bringing the Council back in one piece. Assuming they're not dead anyway."

Shepard felt her temper begin to rise but remained stoic faced, determined to hear Aria out. "What's your point Aria?"

"Well here is where we can help each other Shepard." The Asari's shrewd gaze narrowed, "I need to take back Omega and you're going to help me do it."

Shepard raised a brow. "And why would I do that?"

"Because if you help me take back Omega, I will use the mercs under my control to help you search for the Normandy. We both know the Alliance is too busy rebuilding Earth and that as soon as the relays are repaired the other races are going to head back to their own worlds to do the same. You may get a few token ships to help your search but with my help you'll have an army." She paused to let the words sink in before hitting Shepard with the one thing she couldn't argue against. "Can your crew really afford for you to turn my offer down?"

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose tiredly. Aria certainly knew how to twist the knife. "Why do you need my help taking Omega back anyway? You said yourself that you have three merc groups behind you. Isn't that enough?"

"Perhaps but you get the job done Shepard." Aria gave Miranda a sideways glance. "With your help we can wipe those Cerberus bastards off of my station."

As much as she loathed admitting it, Aria had a point. With all their resources focussed on keeping people alive there was no way that Hackett would authorize the fleets to search for the Normandy, even with the Council on board.

"Ok Aria, you've got a deal."

"Of course we do. I'll be in touch." And just like that they were dismissed as Aria turned her back on them.

Miranda was strangely quiet on the way back to the shuttles. Shepard was more than happy to leave it that way, there was enough for her to mull over already. The Reapers were gone and she was still expected to keep on fighting. There was always one more battle and she just wasn't sure she had enough fight left in her for it.


	5. Chapter 5

That night she found herself staring out of the window of her small apartment, gazing up at the sky. With no clouds blocking them from view, the stars sparkled brightly beside the flickering lights of the allied ships orbiting the Earth, waiting to go home. Somewhere in amongst all of that her crew were stranded. The chances of the Normandy surviving the shockwave from the Crucible were high as her upgrades made her one of the best ships in the fleet but the chances of finding her were slight. In the event of a crash the likelihood of them landing on a habitable planet was remote and with the finite resources they had on board, time was slowly running out.

She missed them all terribly with their quirks and bad jokes. Garrus and his calibrations, EDI and her constant quest to understand human nature, Liara with her almost obsessive need to control information and even Traynor with that damned toothbrush. Most of all she missed Kaidan with his gentle smile and quiet control. With him she could lower her guard and know that he would see her and not the Commander. With her he had been able to relax and let go a bit more and together they had been so much stronger than either had ever been alone. His absence had created a void inside of her that she had no way to fill.

Loneliness was her constant companion these days. She had managed to get in touch with her other teammates and the relief at finding them all alive had been overwhelming. Kasumi and Jacob were working together with Dr. Cole and the other scientists to repair the comms while Jack and her students were using their abilities to help clear rubble from areas inaccessible to the trucks. Zaeed had even told her to meet him for a drink when she was finished being _a big goddamn hero_ before leaving to track down Vido. Even Miranda was busy making sure Oriana was settled in her new home. They were all moving on, working towards building their brighter futures. Meanwhile she was stuck, unable to do more than take it day by day, hiding behind the mask of Commander Shepard that everyone was expecting to see and never letting on how much she was hurting inside.

She had almost laughed when Hackett had approached her and mentioned that he knew the Alliance owed her a couple of promotions after everything she had done. He'd then asked for her understanding that they would have to come later so that for now she could remain the symbol that was _Commander_ Shepard, saviour of the galaxy. Even now her name was the clarion call the Alliance used to inspire hope.

Sighing deeply she pressed her forehead against the cool glass. Did he honestly think she cared about promotions and advancement? With everything that had happened and all of the battles she had fought, it had never been about that for her. There had never been a choice, no real chance to turn back. She had simply done what no one else was either willing or capable of doing. She had done what was necessary and the lives lost and sacrifices made lay at her feet. Not even her mother truly understood. Hannah Shepard had tried to talk to her about it but seeing her daughter become withdrawn she had kept her distance, giving her the time to come to terms with it all.

Fixing her gaze to the heavens, Shepard cast her thoughts out to the universe. Wherever he was maybe, just maybe Kaidan could hear her.

_I'm coming for you. I don't care how long it takes or what I need to do to get there but I will find you again and bring you home._


	6. Chapter 6

Things didn't look good. Kaidan stared morosely at the reports in front of him, a migraine threatening to set in as he tried to work the new data into a plan to get them out of this mess. Over two months had passed since the Normandy had crash-landed on this godforsaken planet and the initial relief of having survived had been replaced by the realization that they were alone with no idea where they were and no way to communicate with Earth.

The fact that they had managed to survive the crash mostly intact never ceased to amaze him and it was a testament to the Normandy and Joker's abilities as a pilot that she hadn't broken up on impact. Joker had even been able to walk away with only a few fractures that were healing nicely thanks to Dr. Chakwas. Unfortunately not everyone had made it out alive. The crash had torn open a hole along the starboard side of the ship and Diana Allers had been caught under the twisted metal, killing her instantly. The surviving crew had given her a simple ceremony and her coffin now waited in the cargo hold to be taken back home to her family. Which, if the reports were accurate, was not something that was going to be happening anytime soon.

Sighing, he rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. They had already lost too many people in this damned war and it was now up to him to make sure they didn't lose more. The crew had been working tirelessly making repairs to the stricken ship but exhaustion was beginning to set in. EDI had assured them that the drive core was stable which gave them power and life support but with the thrusters and hull damaged getting the Normandy back into the air was a long shot. Landing in the middle of a jungle didn't exactly lend itself to repairing a prototype warship.

Shepard had put together one hell of a crew though. It was a skill that he had always admired and even envied. Talented people were drawn to her like moths to a flame, something about her making them all willing to follow her into hell itself. It was a feeling he knew all too well. Not for the first time he found himself wishing that Shepard was here with him. No matter what obstacles stood in her path she had always managed to find a way to succeed, even when it seemed impossible. Her belief in always being able to find a way was the hope that had driven them all forward for so long and now that hope was lacking. The familiar anger of having been forced to leave her behind on Earth mingled with the guilt of having abandoned her yet again when she needed him most. He had fought against the order but Hackett had given him no choice. If the look on Joker's face was any indication when they had made the desperate flight to the Citadel, he hadn't liked it any better.

_Damn it all to hell! _The datapads rattled on the desk as he slammed his fist down in frustration.

He took a steadying breath, bringing his temper back under tight control. Had she even made it out? He couldn't be sure and the thought that he might have lost her again was killing him. As the ranking Alliance officer on board Kaidan had taken over command of the Normandy and the crew but it felt wrong - this was her ship and these were her people. At least they had managed to successfully extract the Council and all things considered they were holding up remarkably well under the strain. Their political skills were completely useless out here but all three had lent their considerable intelligence to help where they could.

"Hey L2!" Vega strode out of the elevator to the CIC with lengths of cable slung over his shoulder, dumping them unceremoniously on the ground beside Traynor's workstation. "Found a way to get us off this rock and back in the air?"

"Not yet."

"Well Sparks and Scars are almost done repairing the engine core's shielding. EDI's working with Traynor to fix the comms and Esteban finally managed to get the shuttle running again so we can start scouting for some more supplies."

Well at least there was some good news. "Alright, we'll send a team out when they've finished with it."

Vega was quiet for a minute, staring at the space where the galaxy map should have been. Finally he turned back to Kaidan, clearly frustrated.

"We should never have left Shepard behind." It was a familiar argument between them and while they both agreed, Kaidan was not in any position to say so.

"We had no choice. The order came directly from Hackett."

"Kinda strange for him to ask us to leave the Commander behind like that, no? I mean he's the guy who told her to go and save the whole damn galaxy and then he asks us to just leave her when she's trying to do it? What kind of _pendejo _makes a call like that?"

He gritted his teeth, hating every word that was a reminder of the order he had never wanted to follow. "We had to get the Council off of the Citadel. The Normandy was the only ship fast and quiet enough to do that without alerting the Reapers and endangering the Crucible. Shepard had already gone through the beam."

"We still shouldn't have left her." Vega paused again, assessing. "She would have made it off though. Lola's one tough…"

"Just leave it alone Vega."

"Yea well I just thought, you know with how things were between the two of you, that you should know she'll have made it through alright. Lola's not going to let the Reapers take her out. Hell, she's probably waiting on Earth ready to tear Bones a new one for stealing her ship."

Kaidan forced a smile, wishing it were true. "Yea, she probably is." He didn't believe a word of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard ducked as a hail of bullets thudded into the remains of the wall she was using as cover. Concrete dust drifted down over her head as she waited for a break in the firing. That pause was all she needed to duck out of cover and fire at the mercs holed up in the abandoned store front. With short, quick bursts of fire she took down one of them before pulling back to reload. With years of practice she ejected the spent thermal clip and inserted a new one in a smooth almost unconscious movement. More bullets slammed into the concrete or flew past her head as the attackers shifted their positions.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a sniper begin to take up position on the second floor of a building on their right flank.

"Miranda, we've got a sniper at three o'clock." She called over the gunfire.

"Got him!" No more than twelve feet from her, Miranda straightened, biotics swirling around her. With one swift motion she pulled the sniper from his perch and slammed him into the ground where he remained, unmoving.

Sensing an opportunity now that the mercs were off balance Shepard sprinted forwards, vaulting over debris before sliding back into cover behind the side of an abandoned shuttle. With brisk gestures she signalled for Grunt to charge the left flank.

His war cry bellowed through the air as he charged them, unloading his shotgun into anyone that got in his way. To the right Miranda flung the attackers away using her powerful biotics as a shield. With the defence crumbling, Shepard advanced, taking them out with precise bursts from her assault rifle, shifting seamlessly from one target to the next as they fell before her. Within minutes it was over and the ruined square fell silent again.

"Everyone alright?"

Grunt slammed his fists together and he laughed. "What did I tell you? They were no match for us!"

"We were still outnumbered." Miranda retorted.

He boomed out a laugh again. "That's what made it so much fun. Damn if it isn't good to be cracking heads with you again Shepard. You always pick the best fights."

Behind her, Shepard could hear Miranda muttering something about the _damned Krogan_ but decided it was probably safer for all involved if she ignored it. Lifting her hand to her ear she activated her communicator.

"Jack, what's your status?"

"We're fine, managed to chase those bastards back to whatever hole they crawled out of. Rodriguez even managed to keep her barriers up this time." In the background Shepard could hear the woman in question hurling a _"Screw you ma'am."_ back at her teacher.

"You guys are doing great. We just cleared the plaza so we're on our way to you now."

"Alright but watch out Shepard, they're still out there."

"Copy that."

Picking their way slowly through the rubble, the team stayed alert for any signs of movement. The city was a ghost town, the inhabitants either evacuated or killed by Reaper forces. Huge areas had been reduced to nothing but rubble and the charred remains of abandoned possessions littered the empty streets. Now that the Reapers were destroyed new mercenary bands had decided to take advantage of the chaos and political instability and had seized large areas for themselves including Vancouver. Once London had been secured the Alliance had focussed its attention on retaking the city and Alliance Command. At Hackett's insistence Shepard had taken charge of the offensive and after a week-long hit and run battle in the suburbs, the various teams were now converging on the harbour.

Shepard knew that as soon as they broke the merc's control over the city they would try to move into the BC interior and that would make them harder to track down and put the refugee camps there at risk. Hopefully the Krogan and Alliance forces deployed to Vancouver's northern suburbs would be enough to stop that from happening.

The closer they got to the harbour the fewer undamaged structures were still standing. Once proud buildings of what had been a thriving metropolitan area now lay devastated and uninhabitable. As they crossed the road a small shower of rubble skittered down from one of the buildings close by. Weapons at the ready they moved forward with Shepard taking point. The apartment block was now a hollowed out shell and a section of the second floor had collapsed down creating a makeshift ramp to the upper floors. Scuff marks in the dust showed that someone had recently used it.

At her signal they waited at the bottom of the ramp, listening for any betraying sounds. From the floor above they could hear the subtle shift of feet followed by a quiet whimper and a hiss of retort. Stepping as quietly as she could, Shepard moved up slowly, trying to get a view of the second floor. Aside from the debris that littered the ground there were no signs indicating that this had ever been a home. In the far corner six heavily armed mercenaries had their guns trained on a group of unarmed civilians. Shepard counted two men, four women and a couple of kids sitting huddled together.

Moving carefully Shepard stepped out into view with Grunt and Miranda on either side, all with their guns focussed on the mercs. The men swore as they swung their weapons around but Shepard held her fire, not wanting to endanger the civilians unnecessarily.

"I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance, put you weapons down!"

The mercs lowered their weapons slightly as it sank in who they were dealing with before the leader of the group stepped forward with his gun pointed straight at Shepard.

"Get the hell out of this district Alliance, you have no business here."

"This doesn't have to end badly just let them go and drop your weapons."

"Didn't you hear me bitch? Or do I need to put a bullet between those pretty eyes for you to get the message."

"The Reapers tried and failed – now back down!"

Shepard took in all of the details, looking at the distance between the men and the civilians, her mind racing to come up with the best way to get them all out of there alive.

The young girl took the decision out of her hands as she stepped forward fearlessly, glaring at the men.

"See I told you the Alliance would come after scum like you."

The leader of the group turned and backhanded the girl, sending her sprawling backwards with blood spilling from her split lip. With a cry of rage Miranda flared with pure biotic energy, slamming the man into the wall with an audible crack. The hostages screamed as the mercs raised their guns to fire but Shepard and Grunt took them down as Miranda flung the last man out of the window as he tried to go for the girl.

"It's alright, you're safe now." Shepard reassured them as she holstered her weapon. "Is everyone ok? Did they hurt you?"

Miranda was already on her knees beside the girl, checking her for injuries while Grunt cleared the rest of the floor. One of the men came forward, wringing his hands timidly.

"Are you really Commander Shepard?"

"Yes, I'm part of the team securing the city so that people can come back to their homes safely."

"You…..you saved our lives Commander. We can't thank you enough!"

She smiled gently. "It's alright, let's just get you somewhere safe for now."

They only had a couple of blocks to go before they reached the harbour and the rest of the Alliance forces. Moving quickly, they kept the civilians between them, trying to protect them as best as they could. Thankfully they didn't encounter any more hostile forces and when they reached Alliance Command the other teams had already begun to set up a temporary base camp.

Medics moved forward to check the civilians for injuries as Shepard and her team made their way to the command post. Jack and her students were already removing rubble from the entrance of the building so that a team could go through and secure it.

"Hey Shepard, so you finally decided to show up huh? Next time you'll have to let me know if you're having trouble dealing with a couple of mercs."

"Good to see you're still as charming as ever." Miranda quipped, rolling her eyes at Shepard.

"Figures you'd survive the Reapers." Jack's lip curled as she stood with her arms crossed, inspecting the other woman. "Just cause you told the Illusive Man to screw off doesn't mean we get to be friends, princess."

"Noted." Miranda's voice was frosty.

"But you took care of Sanctuary so I guess you're not much of a Cerberus cheerleader after all." Jack turned back towards her students before Miranda could do more than look stunned. Never one to miss a parting shot Jack did throw a sly look over her shoulder. "Good thing Shepard was there to save your ass though!"

Miranda's mouth worked to form a response but one look at the grin Shepard was trying to restrain and she gave up. She shrugged and gave an exasperated smile. "So she can act human, who knew?"

Shepard laughed, grateful that she wasn't going to have to break up another fight between the two powerful biotics with just her gun for company any time soon. She supposed they'd both mellowed since their time on the Normandy, both having found their own reasons to keep fighting. As she watched Jack banter with the students it was clear that having the "psychotic biotic" as their mentor was clearly something they were all proud of.

The students weren't the scared, unseasoned kids Shepard had rescued from Grissom Academy anymore. There was a new confidence in each of them, a faith in their own abilities that had made them a formidable force on the battlefield. Major Coates had confided in her after the battle for London that he wasn't sure how many more troops they would have lost had the students not been there for support. It seemed that the war had changed them all.

Had it really been less than a year since the Normandy had picked her up from this very bay as the Reapers had begun their attack? One Reaper corpse lay half in the water on the far side of the bay, a reminder that they were really gone and that the cycle of destruction was broken. A wave of emotion clogged her throat as she gazed out over the water. It seemed she had almost come full circle.


	8. Chapter 8

The resilience of the human spirit never ceased to amaze her. The city had only been back under Alliance control for a matter of days but already the people were coming back. Temporary camps had been setup for the returning residents and food stations were beginning to parcel out rations until more supplies could be flown in. Engineers had managed to reconnect the water supplies and the electricity had been restored. Teams of demolition experts worked around the clock to clear damaged buildings while building crews began repairing those that could be saved.

Alliance Command had had enough repairs done to make it safe and Shepard now used it as the base of operations for the recovery effort. Every day new lists were put up with the names of the missing or dead and she had teams on the ground taking details of the new arrivals so that they could try and reunite families. She knew that many would never know the fate of their loved ones but it didn't stop her from checking the lists every day for a sign of Kaidan's parents. At least an Alliance team in California had managed to track down Vega's uncle. Emilio Vega had been helping search for survivors in San Diego when they had patched her through to him. He had quickly gotten over his shock of hearing from her personally and the pride had been evident in his voice when he'd spoken of James.

"_My nephew isn't going down without a fight. He's still out there and they'll find their way home."_

There had been no doubt in his voice, he was completely convinced that James was going to be coming home while the doubt grew inside of her with each passing day. Promising to contact him as soon as she knew anything, Shepard had stared out towards English Bay and mentally shaken herself. She would turn over every rock in this damned galaxy to bring them all home again.

Her communicator beeped. "This is Shepard, go ahead."

"Commander, this is Lieutenant Fenton with the engineering corps down by the bridge." There was a pause. "We have an Asari here who wants to speak with you. She says she's a Justicar?"

"Send me your coordinates Lieutenant, I'll be right there."

She ran until she reached the team of engineers working to repair the supports of the main bridge spanning the harbour. Standing serenely amongst them and seemingly oblivious to the looks she received from the men, Samara gazed out at the water only turning when she heard Shepard approach.

"Commander, it is good to see you again." She inclined her head regally.

"Samara! I wasn't sure you'd made it out of London."

"It was quite the battle though I am pleased to see you survived against the odds."

"Not sure how but I'm not going to complain. So what are you doing here?"

"When I heard you were engaged in a fight to regain control of your cities I felt it was only right to assist you. I would have joined your initial push into the city had I not uncovered a more pressing matter." At Shepard's questioning look she elaborated. "As I was travelling to your location the shuttle pilot informed me that a group of civilians was under attack to the north of the city. The code demanded that I aid them."

"Are they alright?"

"They are fine Shepard. When I found them they were barely managing to hold their attackers at bay. With my help they were able to make it here safely. They were formidable individuals and it was an honour to meet them. I believe they were taken to one of the temporary shelters close by."

"Thank you Samara, for protecting them and for coming to help."

"You needn't thank me Shepard. You have helped me more times than I had any right to expect and thanks to you I still have one of my daughters. You are a true friend, I could do no less for you."

She laughed. "I think you paid me back by helping take care of the Collectors and the Reapers but I'm glad to have you here."

"Then I shall find somewhere to rest and lend my skills where they are most needed."

It was late in the afternoon by the time Shepard was able to visit to the temporary camp closest to Alliance Command. Miranda had been helping take care of the wounded there and Annabeth, the young girl she'd saved, had taken to following her around like a shadow. So far they had been unable to locate any surviving relatives but one of the women from the building had offered to care for her until they did. She knew that Miranda had a soft spot for children, being unable to have any of her own, and as long as she didn't mind the company Shepard wasn't going to interfere.

The camp was a crowded scene of organized chaos divided into separate areas for medical facilities, food, recreation and accommodation. She wound her way between the tents, all too aware that people were unconsciously moving out of her way. Some stared at her in awe, others moving away nervously in the presence of the woman who had destroyed the Reapers. Biting back a sigh she kept going, wanting to find the people Samara had helped bring into Vancouver. If they'd come from the BC interior there was a chance that they knew something about Kaidan's parents. She might not be able to go and search for him yet but at least she could make sure his family was safe.

A few people helped point her in the right direction and she finally found the group she was looking for in a quiet corner of the camp. Before she even had a chance to speak a slim woman of medium height stepped away from the group and stopped in front of her. Hair more silver than black was swept back from a striking face with high cheekbones. Cocking her head back to meet the taller woman's eyes she smiled gently.

"You must be Commander Shepard." Her voice carried a hint of an accent. "My son has told me a lot about you."

Taken aback, Shepard stared at the woman for a long moment in confusion until slowly the pieces came together. The dark hair and brown eyes were oh so familiar.

"You're Kaidan's mother."

"Katherine Alenko and it's a pleasure to finally meet you." Slightly dazed Shepard shook the proffered hand. She had been looking for information on his parents' whereabouts, not expecting to run straight into her. "It seems the people here have a lot to be grateful to you for."

"I'm just a soldier doing my job Mrs. Alenko. We wouldn't have succeeded if it hadn't been for Kaidan and the others on board the Normandy."

The other woman's lips quirked into a grin. "He always said you were too modest for your own good. But please call me Katherine or Kate, my mother-in-law was Mrs. Alenko."

Unsure of what to do with that statement, Shepard changed tact. "Uh, yes ma'am. I've been trying to locate you and your husband. When an old friend turned up saying she had helped some people from the interior I thought someone might know something."

"The Justicar arrived just in time. I wasn't sure how much longer we could have held out against those mercenaries."

"Samara did say you were a formidable group."

Katherine laughed. "You don't spend as many years as I have being an Alliance wife and mother without learning how to shoot back at something that's firing at you." Her expression turned hopeful. "Do you have any news about Kaidan? I've heard the rumours that the Normandy disappeared but with you here I hoped…." She trailed off when she saw the look on Shepard's face.

"Kaidan was on the Normandy when the Crucible fired. I'm sorry but I don't know where they are."

"His father is still missing too. He joined the fight in Seattle once we knew that Vancouver was lost."

"I'll ask the teams there to look for him."

"Thank you. I know there are so many others that have lost their loved ones and I should be grateful to still be standing here with the chance to rebuild but I'm missing my husband and my son and if I could get either of them back…." She trailed off, a sheen of moisture in her eyes. Finally she met Shepard's gaze again. "I'm glad you two found each other again. He was so lost without you."

Swallowing hard she searched for the right words, unsure of what to say to her lover's mother before deciding that the truth was always the easiest. "I feel the same way now but I'm going to do whatever I can to find him and bring him back to you."

"I think you are all the incentive he needs to do what it takes to get home."

At that moment they were interrupted by a beep from her communicator.

"Go ahead."

"Commander, I have Admiral Hackett asking to be patched through to you."

She turned to apologize but Katherine Alenko merely shook her head. "Go and do what you need to do. Just let me know when you find something."

Giving her a smile of gratitude Shepard turned and began making her way back through the camp.

"Put him through." She waited for a moment until she heard the quiet click of the line being transferred. "Admiral?"

"Good job in Vancouver, Shepard. Now that we have control of Alliance Command we can start making it safe for people to go back to their homes."

"The city has been hit pretty hard. Most people won't have much to come back to."

"We'll do the best we can for them. For now Commander, I need you back in London as soon as possible."

"Sir?"

"Dr. Cole and her team think they've finally fixed the communication relay network so we're going to try and bring them online. I thought you might want to be there in case the Normandy tries to contact us."

"I'm on my way, Sir." Closing the video link Shepard hurried, ready to commandeer the first shuttle she found. She caught Miranda's eye as she passed the med tents. "Hackett wants me back in London. Jacob's team think they've fixed the comms."

"I'm going with you Shepard." Miranda fell in beside her, activating the communicator in her ear. "Jack, get to the shuttles. We're heading back to London."

Shepard couldn't hear the response but as they rounded the corner to the shuttle bay she saw that Jack was already getting one prepped. "I appreciate it but you don't have to come."

Jack snorted and gave her a look as if to say she was crazy. "Hell yeah I do. Those are our guys out there too."

"What about your students?"

"Sanders is here with the rest of Biotic Division so she can keep an eye on them for me." Jumping up into the shuttle as the engines fired Jack turned expectantly. "Come on Shepard, what are you waiting for?"

"Alright then, let's go Lieutenant." She ordered the pilot as the shuttle door closed with a hiss. The whine of the engines increased as they powered up for take-off and moments later they were winging their way back towards London.


	9. Chapter 9

The communications room was packed with people by the time they arrived. Jacob stood protectively beside a heavily pregnant Dr. Cole as she directed the other scientists and communication specialists as they made the final adjustments. Shepard gave him a quick nod of greeting as she made her way through the crowd to where Admiral Hackett waited, patiently watching the proceedings.

"Thanks for asking me to come, Admiral."

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of the final preparations. "I know how much your crew means to you Commander. We're going to do what we can to find them but right now we have more pressing concerns."

"I appreciate that, Sir."

"If this works it will the first step to getting the relays operational again. Matriarch Aethyta tells me that the repairs on the Charon relay are almost complete but unless we can contact the Turian Hierarchy and Asari Republics we don't know if the other relays are intact."

"Good to hear the Asari are finally listening to her."

"We've all learned some hard lessons during this war Shepard. Only time will tell how that affects us all going forward."

The buzz of activity stopped as the scientists stepped away from the consoles.

"Admiral Hackett, we are ready to bring the communications network back online." Dr. Cole confirmed.

"Good work Dr. Cole, do we have confirmation that the new comm buoys are in place?"

"Yes sir. Our allies assure me that their people will have enough QE communicators left to patch into the network once it's operational again."

"Do we have their representatives standing by?"

"Primarch Victus, Urdnot Wrex, Major Kirrahe, Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema and Matriarch Lidanya of the Destiny Ascension are standing by." One of the specialists confirmed.

"Let's bring the network back online."

The tension was palpable as the different systems began powering up. Across the board green lights began to flash as comm buoys paired and linked into the network. Information began to be called out from the operators.

"Sixth fleet is reporting stable comms."

"The Destiny Ascension confirms active buoys."

"The Quarian fleet is linked into the network."

"Confirmation from the Geth that the local network is stable."

"Powering up the rest of the system." Dr. Cole advised.

"Communications array active Sir. Awaiting connection to other systems."

Static chatter began to filter through the room. "Clean up that signal!" Hackett ordered.

The scientists and operators hurried to try and strengthen the connection.

"Link stabilized Sir!" Dr. Cole reported a moment before the first communications started coming through. Then the information started to come in thick and fast.

"Primarch Victus confirming contact with Palaven Command."

"We have a link with Thessia!"

"The Migrant Fleet is reporting in from Rannoch and the Geth have secure comms with their Collective."

"Major Kirrahe of STG is connected directly with Sur'Kesh and Dalatrass Linron."

Cheers went up around the room. The scientists and operators hugged each other as more comm buoys activated, bringing the galactic civilizations back into contact. Through the open comms to the allied ships orbiting Earth they could hear the shouts of joy and celebration as they were able to speak to their home worlds for the first time in months.

"Good work everyone. I want reports from each of their systems so we know what we're dealing with." Hackett smiled at her. "This is the first step to getting everyone home Commander." Turning back to the operator closest to him. "Specialist Pravis, hail the Normandy."

The man nodded, turning back to his console. "This is Alliance Command hailing the SSV Normandy SR-2. Normandy, do you copy?" The room fell silent as they waited for a response. The operator repeated the hail. "SSV Normandy SR-2 this is Alliance Command do you read me, over?"

They waited but there was no reply. All eyes turned to where Shepard stood, her face a mask of calm professionalism. Miranda and Jack stood beside her staring them all down, daring any of them to utter a word.

_Breathe in, breathe out. Stay in control._ She repeated the phrase over and over again in her mind, desperately trying to keep a stoic front. The operator tried again but there was no answer. The lump in her throat was becoming too hard to swallow and she felt her legs begin to tremble. Stiffening her spine she murmured her apologies to Hackett and turned on her heel, barely maintaining the façade of being completely under control. Miranda and Jack shared a surprised look before Miranda nodded and hurried after her.

Jack shot a worried glance in the direction Shepard had left before glaring menacingly at the comms specialist. "Keep trying!" she ordered.

"Yes ma'am!" the man stammered before trying to hail the Normandy again.

Shepard strode down the hallway, her long legs taking her away from their stares. Her vision was tunnelling and the walls seemed to be closing in on her. She needed air, she just needed to breathe. Throwing open the next door she found, Shepard stalked into the room, with only a cursory check to make sure she was alone.

"Shepard hold on!" Miranda burst through the door. "I know how bad this looks but it doesn't mean anything."

"I'm fine." She snapped at the other woman.

"How stupid do you think I am? You think I don't know that you're still carrying the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders? You take on everyone's problems then hide what you're thinking behind the mask of Commander Shepard." Frowning at her with her hands planted on her hips Miranda was not pulling her punches. "Knowing you, part of you probably thinks it's your fault that the Normandy is missing. You knew this was never going to be easy. We need to be patient."

She winced as Miranda's barbs hit their marks. "What if they're gone? What then Miri?"

"They're not gone, we just haven't found them yet."

Unable to stop and stand still, she finally bit out a vicious curse and slammed her fist into one of the lockers lining the room. The pain filtered through the haze in her mind and it was only then that she remembered she was in her dress uniform, not her armour. Her knuckles throbbed from the impact and she knew they were going to bruise badly.

"Feel better?" Miranda crossed her arms over her chest. "If you want to break your hand fine but could you at least restrain yourself from doing it while we're standing in an armoury? Things have a bad habit of exploding when you're pissed and there are guns in the vicinity."

Jack chose that moment to stroll into the room. At Miranda's questioning look she merely shook her head. "Shit, you still whining Shepard?"

"Screw you Jack."

"Oh come on, at least put some feeling into it." Jack retorted. "You're Commander goddamn Shepard, the woman who took out the Collectors and the Reapers and you're here having a pity party because you didn't hear from your boyfriend."

"Jack…" Miranda's warning was clear.

"No screw this. So they didn't respond, that doesn't mean they're not out there. You want to find them then stop bitching about it and go and do it."

There was a moment of silence when Jack wondered whether she'd gone too far or pushed too hard but to their shock Shepard chuckled.

"I hate you guys."

Jack snorted. "Nah, you love us about as much as that teamwork crap you keep pushing. Now come on, whose ass do we need to kick to get those relays fixed?"

Unable to help herself Shepard was laughing as they left the armoury. As difficult as they could be at times, they had proven themselves to be good friends by giving her the kick she needed to keep going. Ever since she'd learned of the Normandy's disappearance she had known that it wasn't going to be easy to find them. Luckily she had friends like these to help pick her up when she stumbled and to watch her back when things got rough. With so much still riding on her she needed all the support she could get.


	10. Chapter 10

The sunshine coming through the skylight in Shepard's cabin never failed to disorient him when he woke. Dawn had already broken and the first beams reflected down into the room, illuminating the fish that swam lazily through the tank along the far wall. Groaning in protest at the light, Kaidan threw an arm over his eyes.

_What I would give to look up and see nothing but the stars again._

Sadly no amount of wishing was going to get their ship back in the air, only hard work and a big dose of luck. Throwing back the covers he padded through the room to Shepard's desk, dragging on a shirt as he went. Everything was still as she had left it, the terminal flashing with unread messages, the small stack of books she'd never gotten around to reading and her medals displayed in the corner where they had usually been hidden behind a stack of datapads. A quiet squeak drew his attention to the small cage on the shelf behind him and he found the tiny hamster staring at him with its nose twitching wildly. As he put some food in the small bowl Kaidan found it hard to believe that the little guy had made it through the crash in one piece, though considering it'd survived the Collectors and the Normandy refit, maybe that shouldn't have come as a surprise. Trust Shepard to get a pet that was as tough as she was.

Everything in the room reminded him of her. He knew it would have been diplomatic and politically correct to offer the captain's cabin to one of the councillors but he selfishly hadn't been able to tolerate the thought of them intruding on her personal space. It had been her safe haven on the ship, the one place she could shut the door and know she didn't need to keep up a brave face for the crew. No matter how meaningless it was without her there, he was going to protect what had been hers until they were together again. For now it was the only link he had to her and it was enough to keep him moving and working until he dropped exhausted into bed at night.

EDI's voice was jarring in the silence. "Major, Dr. T'Soni wishes to speak with you on the crew deck."

"Thanks EDI, I'll be right there." Hopefully she had some good news for him and it wasn't simply another problem that they had to find a solution for.

Liara's voice was excited as she rattled off instructions to Glyph. Kaidan barely managed to step a foot inside the door before she started speaking.

"Kaidan, thanks for coming. I think I know where we are!" Her eyes shone and her words tumbled out almost too quickly to follow in her excitement.

"That's great news!"

"I couldn't be sure until some of our systems came back online but it seems that most of this planet is covered in water but with small pockets of land suitable for habitation. It's very similar to the Hanar home world, Kahje."

"So you're saying that we need to be grateful that we didn't end up in the ocean?"

"I suppose you could look at it that way, yes. This is why we're stuck in the middle of a jungle, the heat from the sun and the humidity causes all the storms we've been experiencing but also creates an ecosystem similar to the rainforests on Earth. There are only two planets that I know of with this specific set of geological and atmospheric conditions." She paused to take a breath. "We're on Proteus!

"Dr. T'Soni's data is correct Major, with the scanners we've managed to get back online I can confirm that we are currently located in the southern hemisphere of the planet Proteus in the Athens System."

"Wait, we're in the Artemis Tau cluster?" Kaidan's voice betrayed his disbelief. "How the hell did we end up there?"

"It is possible that when Jeff made the jump through the Charon relay, the explosion from the crucible damaged it before we could reach the target relay and it sent the ship off course."

Not being an expert he was going to have to take their word on that one. "Alright, so what does this mean for us?"

Liara was practically vibrating with enthusiasm. "Proteus had a human colony, Ithaka with over twelve thousand people. It's been established less than a decade but they should be able to help us."

Kaidan frowned, "Unless the Reapers took them out."

"Even in that situation the colony would provide necessary materials and supplies to help repair the Normandy. Without it we will not be able to return to the Sol System." EDI's logic was cold but irrefutable.

"Good work, thanks to you two we have a better chance now than we did yesterday. Liara, I need a list from the engineers and Traynor so that we know what to look out for, then meet me by the shuttle. EDI, tell James to grab his gear and we could probably use your help too."

"I will be there momentarily Major." The AI confirmed.

Kaidan quickly changed into his armour and grabbed his weapons before joining the others outside where Cortez was prepping the shuttle. They had barely managed to squeeze it out of the loading bay with the Normandy's nose so close to the ground and without the thrusters activated to lift her up, the shuttle had to remain outside. As Cortez brought the engines stuttering to life Kaidan saw Councillor Tevos march purposefully towards him.

"Councillor." He inclined his head politely.

"Major Alenko I understand you have uncovered the location of a colony not too far from here."

"Yes ma'am, we're heading there now to look for supplies and materials to repair the Normandy."

"I feel it would be prudent for me to accompany you in case we encounter any colonists."

Kaidan bit back a snort of disbelief. "With all due respect Councillor, we don't know what we're facing. We're heading to a human colony and if they managed to survive the Reaper invasion they might respond better to seeing Alliance soldiers on the ground."

The Asari inhaled sharply, drawing herself up. "May I remind you that you are a Council Spectre?"

"Yes ma'am but I am also an officer in the Alliance Navy. If the colony was attacked there may still be Cerberus agents or Reaper forces present so right now you need to trust me to ensure your safety and that means staying with the ship where the crew can protect you if it comes to that."

She was quiet for a long moment before reluctantly acquiescing. "Alright Major, I see your point. Please let us know what you find."

"Of course, Councillor."

The door hissed shut behind him as he boarded, the shuttle giving a little lurch as Cortez powered up the thrusters to give them some altitude.

"Do we have any idea whether the colonists are still alive?"

Liara shook her head. "No our scanners are still too badly damaged to read for individual life signs. The volatile weather isn't helping our readings either."

"So we're going in blind." James frowned, "Not my favourite way to start a party."

"I guess we'll find out when we get there."

As they lapsed into silence he knew they were all hoping the same thing.

_Please let this colony have escaped the Reapers._

He wasn't sure if he could face another Eden Prime.


	11. Chapter 11

The weather was turning against them and the increased winds were battering the shuttle, making it an uncomfortable ride.

"Lieutenant what's going on?" Kaidan called up to Cortez.

"Sorry Major, there's a storm front hanging right over the colony at the moment. We have to go through it to land. The reduced visibility is making it hard to find a clear landing spot but so far I'm not picking up any movement on the ground."

"This rain is going to make searching for survivors more difficult." Liara remarked as she held on tight against the shuttle's bucking.

"Sir, I've got a landing zone just outside of the colony's perimeter."

"Ok, put us down there, we'll head in on foot."

He slipped on his helmet, wanting the protection from the elements and the improved visibility it would give. James followed suit as Liara did a quick comm check. Cortez expertly manoeuvred the shuttle into position as Kaidan opened the door and took point.

The wind and rain lashed down on them in sheets, the dark skies rumbling with thunder. Even with the difficulty of seeing through the rain it was clear that there was something wrong with the colony. All of the lights were out and the windows were dark. Pausing at the edge of the first building the team switched on their flashlights, keeping their weapons ready for any sign of hostile forces as Liara scanned the area with her omni tool.

"Can you see anything?" Kaidan asked, worried about what was waiting for them.

She shook her head. "No, it's as if the entire population has vanished."

"There were almost thirteen thousand people here." Vega's light swept across the buildings in a wide arc, trying to find a sign of life.

"This isn't the first time we've seen this Vega." Kaidan reminded him. "It looks like the Reapers abducted all of the colonists."

"I thought it was only the Collectors that took everyone without leaving a body."

Liara frowned as she tried scanning again. "If they were able to indoctrinate one of the colony's leaders they might have been able to convince the others that surrender was the only viable option."

"That's what they were trying to do on Earth. The Reapers were offering peace negotiations but only if the world leaders were willing to come on-board. They would have been turned into indoctrinated puppets, leading more of humanity to the slaughter." He almost spat out the words.

"Well at least the Commander stopped them from taking any more." Vega said confidently.

Liara and Kaidan shared a look but didn't respond. Neither of them knew what had happened after the Crucible fired, they could only hope that Shepard had succeeded.

"Come on. We need to make sure there aren't any survivors." Kaidan took point again and the team made their way slowly down the main street, constantly checking the windows and doorways for any signs of movement.

"It looks like the main power grid is down." Liara reported. "If we can find the generators we can bring the power back on."

"Agreed. Even if we don't find anyone we need to see what we can salvage, at the very least we need to get the comms back up."

"If whatever energy the Crucible released damaged the relays I suspect they will have taken the comm buoys out as well, the ones the Reapers didn't destroy during the invasion anyway." Liara pointed out.

"Yeah I know, but there's a chance the Alliance will have them back up by now."

"You sound awfully confident of that Major." Vega muttered.

Kaidan ignored him as they made their way deeper into the colony. The weather was making it almost impossible to see more than a few meters to either side so he set his omni tool to constantly scan the surroundings in the hopes of avoiding an ambush. So far there was no sign of life.

"The generators should be just ahead in that warehouse." Liara indicated a large building at the far end of the street, barely visible through the rain as lightening flashed through the sky.

They reached the building without incident. Without power the automatic doors wouldn't open so Vega had to forcibly push them apart to allow the other two to pass through. The building was eerily silent with pipes and walkways twisting off into the darkness with only the sound of the rain hitting the roof and the wind howling around the building to be heard. Their lights did little to push back the darkness as they carefully made their way towards the main generators. The sound of tiny feet scurrying away echoed along the pipes above them.

"At least something's still alive out here." Vega said under his breath.

"Over there." Their voices seemed overly loud in the darkness as their lights focussed on the two massive generators dominating the wall. "Let's see if we can find a way to turn these on."

Vega and Liara split up, each checking opposite sides for the controls.

"Got them!" Liara announced as she quickly typed in the command to restart the generators. Within moments the machines began to hum as to their relief, the lights above their heads flickered and then stayed on.

"Ok, let's go and see what we can salvage for the Normandy."

They methodically began to search the colony, entering every building with the hope that they would find at least one survivor but each home was empty, every office bare of any traces of human activity. Like so many others, the residents of this colony had simply vanished.

The storm had finally subsided by the time they returned to the Normandy with a shuttle full of tech and spare parts to help repair the stricken vessel. Engineer Adams took one look at the haul and immediately began issuing orders to Donnelly and Daniels. While the engineers worked on the physical repairs, Tali got to work in the engineering bay with EDI providing support in managing the critical systems. After a couple of days of back breaking work Adams finally announced that they were ready to test out the repairs.

Gathered around the cockpit, the crew waited anxiously Joker redirected power to the port side thrusters, all of them unconsciously holding their breath.

At first nothing happened but after a brief exchange with Adams, Joker tried again. The first thruster sputtered and then fired into life.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Joker whooped as his console lit up.

Engineer Adams' fingers flew across his omni tool, quickly making adjustments until the power flow to the thruster was steady.

Adam's gave Kaidan a relieved smile. "All functions reporting as normal. Thruster working as expected."

The crew cheered and clapped, congratulating the engineers with slaps on the back. They still needed to bring the other thrusters online but with the first one running again it would be easier to fix the others. Liara and Kaidan shared a smile. They weren't out of the woods yet but their hard work had paid off and it was a good start.


	12. Chapter 12

She hated waiting. It was something you had to get used to while serving in the navy but ever since her return to London it seemed that waiting was all she was doing. It wasn't a lack of patience on her part, it was the knowledge that the Alliance would be better served with her actively deployed elsewhere. Major Coates had taken over responsibility for managing the day to day rebuilding operations and with the city secured there was little need for her particular talents. Returning to Vancouver or joining teams liberating other cities wasn't an option either as Hackett had asked her to stay put for the time being. Logically she knew that he was playing the political game and that she was being held back until the relays were repaired but the lack of purpose grated on her and gave her too much time with her own thoughts.

In any other situation she would have enjoyed the opportunity for some shore leave but the Charon relay was nearly complete and she knew she had to be ready to head out to Palaven on short notice. Her armour already had the necessary environmental upgrades and her weapons had been modded to cope with the higher radiation levels found on the Turian home world. Too many years of war had taught her that being prepared both physically and mentally was the only way to come out of a fight alive and she couldn't do that if she was busy dwelling on things she currently had no control over. Shore leave would have to wait until Kaidan was back on Earth and they could take it together. Hell, the Alliance brass owed them both that much at least, regs be damned.

But for now she was stuck waiting outside of Hackett's office, managing to keep from looking impatient as she watched the shuttles pass over the busy streets below. At least this enforced inactivity had given her the opportunity to track down Kaidan's father. His company had been evacuating civilians out of Seattle when the Reapers had arrived. Through quick thinking they had been able to avoid being hit by the main Reaper forces and had held out long enough for the Crucible to fire. Having found him in a local hospital with a broken arm and some contusions, local troops had put him on a transport back to Vancouver yesterday to be reunited with Katherine. Shepard knew she should get in touch and let them know about the lack of contact with the Normandy but she didn't want to erode what hope they held on to for their son's return.

"Commander Shepard?" Hackett's aide exited the office and held the door open for her. "You can go in now."

Admiral Hackett was standing over the desk, his fists planted on either side of the report he was reading and a frown deepening the lines of his face.

"You wanted to see me Sir?" she asked as she came to attention and saluted.

"At ease Commander. We've been getting reports in from Palaven and Thessia and there's something I think you need to see." He motioned her over and turned the report so that she could read it.

What she saw didn't make any sense. "It sounds like the Turians are still at war."

"That's because they are." Her gaze shot to his face but Hackett wasn't joking. "The Turian Hierarchy has confirmed that they are still fighting Reaper ground troops for control of Palaven. Reports suggest that the energy from the Crucible hit their system and took out the Reapers themselves but for reasons we don't yet understand, their forces are still attacking."

"I thought with the Reapers gone the signals controlling the husks would be cut off."

"That's what we thought. When you destroyed the Reapers their ground troops on Earth stopped fighting and collapsed. We assumed that with the Reapers gone, the tech implanted in them would fail without the signal controlling them. What's happening on Palaven appears to be something else entirely."

A disturbing suspicion began to form in Shepard's mind. "Cerberus was working on a way to control the signal on Sanctuary."

"Yes, I read your report. Ms. Lawson's father was in charge of that project, would she know anything about this?"

Shepard shook her head emphatically. "No Sir, Miranda was there trying to save her sister and stop her father's work. It almost got her killed. Everything we uncovered was uploaded to the Alliance."

Hackett straightened, linking his hands loosely behind his back. "The implications of the data you found being used on Palaven is disturbing but there is something else we need to consider. With the Reaper threat on Earth dealt with there are concerns about Ms. Lawson's affiliations. Throughout our dealings with her she has made it very clear that her loyalty is to you and not to the Alliance."

"You can trust Miranda, Admiral. She wants to stop Cerberus and the Reapers as much as we do."

"I'm inclined to agree with you. For now I believe that she'll continue to work with us and the fact that she has your trust speaks highly of her so I will defer to your judgement on this Commander. But something about this situation seems off and if Cerberus is behind this we need to find a way to stop them."

"What do you want me to do Sir?"

"As soon as the relay is repaired I need you to go to Palaven and find out what's going on. I know you pledged to help the Turians retake their home world but even you can't do it alone so as of today I'm transferring temporary command of the Fifth fleet to you."

Stunned she caught herself from rocking back. "I'm sorry Sir?"

"This war isn't over yet Commander and we owe our allies a debt for helping Earth. You know the Primarch, you've worked together and they need your knowledge and experience fighting these things. A small crew is not going to be enough to bolster Turian forces and take back an entire planet."

"I'm not an Admiral, Sir." The words escaped before she could stop them.

"Shepard, right now you're the best we've got. Things are too chaotic here for me to leave and with Anderson gone there's no one who would inspire the troops to fight better than you. The SSV Hong Kong has been assigned as your personal flagship until we recover the Normandy. While you take the Fifth Fleet to Palaven, Admiral Drescher will take the Second fleet back to what's left of Arcturus Station and the Sixth and Seventh fleets will be heading to Thessia to help the Asari. Admiral Mikhailovich will remain here with the 63rd Flotilla and the rest of the fleets. "

Shepard groaned inwardly. _Oh I bet Mikhailovich is just going to love this. He's still pissed that I became a Spectre and got command of the Normandy instead of being assigned to the 63__rd. __If Hackett loans me the entire fleet I'll have earned myself a permanent place on his shit list._

"Permission to speak freely Sir?"

"Of course Commander."

"Surely one of the other Admirals would be better suited for this?"

He frowned at her. "Shepard you accomplished the impossible when the odds were stacked against us. You brought the galaxy together when we are all busy just trying to save ourselves. Whether you like it or not you are the symbol that inspires hope and right now I need you to go out there and get the job done. Give our allies the help that they need and if Cerberus is involved I need you to end them."

"I'll have to bring my own team with me."

Hackett nodded. "I don't need to tell you what's at stake so take whoever you need to get the job done. I've informed the Captains of the situation and they're waiting on your orders. Make me proud out there Shepard. I know you'll get results."

"Yes Sir!"

He returned her salute and then caught her off guard by giving her a wry look. "Just make sure you give me my fleet back in one piece Commander."


	13. Chapter 13

"All personnel awaiting shuttle transport to the SSV Cairo please report to docking bay A7 for boarding." The announcement repeated over the PA, briefly drowning out the cacophony of hundreds of voices echoing through the cavernous terminal building.

The bustle of the space port was familiar and oddly soothing as Shepard supervised the loading of her gear onto the shuttle headed for the SSV Hong Kong. Huge windows overlooked the mouth of the Thames and out towards the North Sea, letting in the muted light that filtered through the thick cloud cover blanketing the sky. A few Alliance frigates were docked at the far end of the terminal, leaving the other bays unobstructed for the transport shuttles. It was never quiet here with the whine of thrusters as ships moved in and out of the docking bays, the measured march of booted feet across the floor and the mechanical drone of mechs as they transported the cargo crates to and from the docked vessels. Security was still tight with armed Alliance soldiers stationed at strategic points around the port and regular patrols of fighters flying overhead. The fleets had received their orders and the preparations for their departure were well underway. Shuttles were on constant rotation carrying soldiers and supplies to and from the ships orbiting Earth.

Shepard hardly gave any notice to the hive of activity surrounding her. There was no reason for her to be standing here watching over the loading of her gear and she knew it. Her armour was stowed in her foot locker and her weapons were safely secured for transport so the shuttle crew could manage without her watchful gaze. In fact, having her standing there was probably putting extra pressure on them that they didn't need right now. She just needed the small breath of normalcy, of the familiar before she left for another warzone. Gaining command of the Fifth Fleet was not something she had been after and part of her had expected the Captains to be unhappy taking orders from a junior officer. But apparently her accomplishments carried enough weight that her appointment seemed to raise no eyebrows and the meetings with them had all gone smoothly. Captain Lynton of the Hong Kong had even seemed enthusiastic to be able to share his ship with the saviour of the galaxy, a title she was quickly starting to dislike. Whether that attitude changed when she brought her crew on board was another matter but for now she'd take the leeway she had.

As she stood watching the shuttles move around the port she felt the pressure that lay heavily on her shoulders. When she'd been on the Citadel opening the arms to allow the Crucible to dock she had been so certain that it would end the war, so confident that her choice would bring peace – however fleeting it might be. The Reapers had been destroyed only to present them with new problems, new battles and after everything part of her was simply tired of fighting. For too long the hopes and fates of the galactic races had rested on her decisions and efforts as war threatened to tear them all apart. It was time to finish this and to put a permanent end to Cerberus.

With a sharp salute the shuttle pilot closed up the doors and moments later began to manoeuvre his way out of the docking bay. With practiced skill he flicked the Kodiak away from the port and began his assent to where the SSV Hong Kong waited for her, quickly disappearing into the clouds and out of view.

"I thought I'd find you here." Miranda's voice was curiously subdued as she leant her forearms against the railing and stared out over the estuary.

"Is something wrong? I thought we were all meeting back at headquarters in an hour?"

"We are, I just needed to speak with you first – privately."

Shepard joined her at the railing. It wasn't private by any stretch of the imagination but standing side by side out of the path of the main thoroughfare they could at least speak with less risk of being overheard. "What's on your mind Miranda?"

The other woman was silent for a long moment as if trying to find the right way to approach an unpleasant subject. "I know you're heading out to Palaven as soon as the relay is operational again. There are rumours that Cerberus is involved in the fighting there."

"I know, that's why Hackett gave me the fleet. We think that Cerberus is using the technology that your father developed to control the remaining Reaper forces."

"Shepard, you have to know that I had nothing to do with this, that I had no idea!"

"I know I never doubted you Miranda." Shepard squeezed the other woman's shoulder comfortingly.

"My god, how many hundreds of thousands of people did my father have processed? How many innocent people have died to give the Illusive Man his own private Reaper army?" Miranda looked sick to her stomach. "I thought we'd stopped this nightmare back on Sanctuary."

"So did I but if the reports are right those experiments of your father's had progressed much further than any of us realized. The question is, with the Illusive Man gone, who's pulling the strings and why are they focussed on Palaven?"

As she chewed on her bottom lip it was clear that Miranda's mind was working furiously behind her blue eyes. "When I worked for Cerberus things were different. You were given the time and resources to develop ways to give humanity the edge. I know you think it was just a terrorist organization but back then it was done for what we believed were the right reasons." She shook her head sadly. "This is so far beyond what Cerberus ever stood for. Everything we encountered proved that they were under Reaper control but now that they and the Illusive Man are dead I don't know who could be behind all of this."

"You know better than anyone that the Illusive Man always hedged his bets. He never put all of his faith into only one project."

"Well, except for Project Lazarus."

"Yeah and look how well that turned out for him." Shepard gave Miranda a wry look. "Either way I plan to find out what's going on as soon as my boots hit the ground."

"I'm coming with you Commander. I need to know who's doing this."

"I wouldn't do it without you. Just remember that our first priority is helping the Turians take back their planet." She waited a moment for her words to sink in before turning to the other woman earnestly. "Miranda, I need to know that you've got my back."

"Of course I do and Shepard, thank you for believing in me." The relief on her features was almost palpable.

"Come on. Let's see who else we can convince to join us on our next suicide mission." She shot Miranda a reckless grin and the other woman rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you shouldn't phrase it quite like that Shepard. Though I supposed it would definitely appeal to Grunt."

She laughed as they made their way out of the terminal. They still had a hell of a fight ahead of them but for now she was feeling lighter on her feet and as soon as she had the rest of her crew behind her they could take on anything. By the time they got back to Alliance HQ the others were already waiting in the office assigned to her. It didn't take her long to bring them all up to speed.

"So the Alliance has given you an entire fleet of ships and you're not even considering going pirate?" Jack remarked with a sly smirk from where she was sprawled in one of the chairs, deceptively nonchalant.

Shepard snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, cocking an eyebrow at the biotic. "I've spent enough time in the brig recently to know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life incarcerated for treason."

Jack shrugged. "Shame, we could have had some fun Shepard. Too bad you're still so uptight." At Miranda's look she rolled her eyes. "Take it easy princess, I was kidding."

"We could always use your help Jack."

"I'd join you Shepard, it'd be fun blowing stuff up with you again." Jack made a noise of disgust, "But…. Shit, I can't believe I'm even saying this, my guys need me you know? They've been through enough already and they need someone to look out for them. Sanders is good and all but they're my responsibility."

"I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth." Miranda commented, amused. Jack's lip lifted in a sneer but she pre-empted the inevitable retort with a raised hand. "I didn't say it was a bad thing, actually I'm impressed."

"Oh. Well thanks." Jack shot her an irritated look, clearly confused by her lack of animosity.

Shepard bit back a grin. "It's alright Jack, I understand. What about the rest of you?"

"You know I'm always glad to see you Shep but I'm not sure why you wanted me here. I told you last time that I can't just go and steal our way to victory, though I'm always happy to give it a shot." Kasumi's eyes twinkled mischievously from under her hood.

"You're one of the best tech specialists I know."

"Only one of the best? I must be losing my touch."

"Back on Sanctuary we found that Cerberus was trying to subvert the Reaper signal and use it to control the husks. If they're using a similar system on Palaven then you're the best person to hack it and help us shut it down." She grinned slyly. "Besides with Jacob and Dr. Cole expecting a baby you can't use him as an excuse and who knows what kind of new tech you might find lying around that the Turians aren't keeping a close eye on?"

"Well I suppose it's always worth a look. Alright, count me in."

Standing beside the thief, Samara inclined her head. "It will be an honour to fight beside you once again Commander but I will have to return to Thessia once the battle is over and help my people rebuild."

"Of course, thank you Samara."

"You are my krantt and a Battlemaster without equal, Shepard. Aralakh company will fight beside you and destroy our enemies." He slammed his fists together as he chuckled gleefully.

"It's nice to see that you're still as bloodthirsty as ever Grunt." Kasumi remarked dryly.

His laugh bellowed out into the room. "I'll show Cerberus the true power of the Krogan. This will be payback for trying to set off that bomb on Tuchanka! Their days are numbered."


	14. Chapter 14

The argument was already in full swing by the time Kaidan stepped out of the elevator by the CIC and if the angry voices echoing across the deck were anything to go by it was escalating. EDI had notified him of the growing tensions while he'd been resting in Shepard's cabin trying to ward off the migraine that was threatening to take hold. If he was lucky dealing with this wasn't going to cause it to flare up. Kaidan understood all too well that everyone was feeling the strain of being grounded without comms and stuck with only each other for company but with the major repairs nearly complete this was not the time for morale to fracture. Ignoring Traynor's worried look he gave a long-suffering sigh and made his way towards the bridge to head the fight off before it got out of hand.

"You consider yourself a good pilot and yet you leave your Commander behind and crash their ship."

"Look I already told you, I had orders from Admiral Hackett to get the Council off of the Citadel."

"And yet you listened?" Javik's voice was incredulous. "What do three lives matter with the war on your planet? Our task was to defeat the Reapers, not save politicians."

"Hey I don't like it either but those politicians happen to be the Galactic Council."

"That is unimportant. What purpose do they serve if the Reapers have succeeded in destroying this cycle? Defeating them was all that mattered."

"Yea well, it's a good thing you're not the Commander then." Joker muttered angrily.

"Yes as it seems you leave your Commanders to die."

"ENOUGH!" Kaidan ordered, unwilling to let this argument go any further. "This doesn't help anyone so both of you back down."

The Prothean gave him a long stare as if debating whether or not to continue. "If we had been in space I would have thrown him out of the airlock." Javik's voice was flat and uncompromising.

"Well then I guess we've found one good thing about being grounded." Joker remarked dryly.

"You think you are funny human." Javik took a menacing step towards the pilot.

Kaidan held up his hand to stop the inevitable retort from Joker. "Fine, whatever." With a shrug he turned back to the console in front of him.

Turning his attention to Javik he wondered how Shepard had managed to befriend this sharp-tongued Prothean. It had been rare that Javik had aimed his acerbic comments at her, preferring to save them for the other crew members. Perhaps it had been his respect for her as a soldier or maybe they had simply found common ground for understanding. Either way, Javik did not hold that same level of respect for the rest of the crew even though up until today he had at least remained civil if not vaguely friendly.

"What about you human? You and the Commander were joined and yet you left the saviour of your species to save these politicians."

From out of the corner of his eye he could see Joker visibly tense up. He knew how Kaidan felt about Shepard and he would probably always feel guilty about his role in her death on the SR1. But this wasn't Joker's fault, they had gotten their orders and she would have understood that. They had always agreed to never let their relationship get in the way of their duties and as much as it pained him had he refused the order to evacuate the council, he would have been doing just that.

"Commander Shepard was on the Citadel opening the arms to dock the Crucible when we received orders from the head of the Alliance Navy to take part in a tactical extraction. You were there Javik and you're a soldier. You understand the reasons for this as much as we do – you know it had to be done. The only reason we're still alive is because Joker is the best damned pilot in the Alliance."

"So you say, I think he is a fool." But he did not argue with Kaidan further as he turned his back on them and boarded the elevator back down to the engineering deck.

"What an asshole." Waiting until the Prothean was out of earshot Joker frowned. "You'd think after being in stasis for over fifty thousand years he could be patient for what, another couple of days?"

"All of my readings indicate that he is suffering from the same stress as the rest of the crew Jeff." EDI's voice was soft as she spoke from the co-pilot's seat beside him.

"Yea I know, I know."

"C'mon Joker, we've almost got the thrusters fixed and then we can try and get off of this rock." Kaidan tried to sound positive even though he knew the same doubts that plagued him were also on Joker's mind.

"Yea I'm done with this place. Maybe next time I can at least land us closer to a club with a bar."

"The likelihood of achieving such a landing would be….." EDI trailed off as she caught their expressions. "Oh, I see. That was a joke."

"Are you going to be ok to fly once the repairs are finished?" Karin Chakwas had taken Kaidan to one side to share her concerns about Joker's recovery. It seemed that the fractures were healing but more slowly than she normally would have anticipated.

Joker snorted. "Of course I'll be fine, I just need to get my baby back in the air."

"Dr. Chakwas does need not be concerned Major. Jeff's fractures have healed sufficiently to be able to pilot the Normandy effectively."

Joker's eyes widened as his head whipped around to stare at Edi. "Wait, what?"

Biting back a grin Kaidan thanked EDI before retreating from the bridge to let her deal with Joker's questions. He couldn't admit to fully understanding the relationship between the two of them but they were clearly close and both agreed that it was thanks to Shepard's influence. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the pressure of the migraine building. There wasn't a corner of this ship or a crew member that hadn't been impacted by their formidable Commander in some way. His relationship with her had been an open secret amongst the crew but thankfully they had finally stopped giving him those sympathetic sideways looks whenever he walked past. Getting the Normandy back to Earth couldn't happen soon enough for him.

It took them the better part of the week but the repairs were finally complete. Theoretically the ship should be airworthy but despite the reassurances from EDI and the engineers they still had no guarantees that the Normandy was going to fly again. He knew that they wouldn't know for certain until they attempted it but he feared putting the crew's lives in even more danger. There were no second chances now and as the thrusters powered up the nerves were palpable.

"Increasing power from the drive core, engaging thrusters." Joker's voice echoed across all of the decks.

Traynor had opened up the comms across the ship so that the entire crew could be in direct contact with each other as they tried to get the Normandy airborne. Tali and Garrus were on the engineering deck with Adams, Donnelly and Daniels while Kaidan had joined James and Cortez down in the hangar to help stabilize the damaged hull if necessary. The Salarian and Turian councillors were helping to man the flight deck with Traynor while Liara and Councillor Tevos were standing ready with their considerable biotic abilities to help stabilize the tear in the starboard cargo area.

EDI was running continuous diagnostics on their systems to find any faults which could endanger them or the ship. "Fusion reactor is performing within acceptable limits and all other systems are currently operating at normal capacity, Jeff."

"All thrusters are online and output is stable." Joker reported from the bridge.

The Normandy began to vibrate as Joker increased the power to the thrusters, trying to lift her off of the ground. Kaidan tensed as the movement caused the ship's hull to grind against the rocks with an ear-splitting screech. He flared his biotics, ready to support any weakening of the hull as the huge ship began to shudder, trying to break free from where she was wedged. For a long moment the ship seemed trapped until finally with a wrench the Normandy tore free from the earth and ascended gracefully into the sky. As Joker slowly increased their altitude the crew seemed to hold their collective breaths waiting to make sure the hull held firm against the strain.

"Drive core stable and hull integrity at 78%." EDI confirmed.

"The shields are holding Kaidan, we should be ok to leave the planet's atmosphere." Tali relayed from the engineering deck.

Garrus sounded decidedly more nervous beside her. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course I'm sure Garrus. My people have been repairing and repurposing damaged ships for centuries and I know the Normandy." Tali retorted primly.

"Alright then, let's get our ship back into space." Kaidan took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Joker take her up and let's see if the hull can take it."

"It'll be a hell of a short trip if it doesn't." Vega called out from the other side of the hangar. "At least Bones knows how to miss the sea if we go down."

"Ah man, shut up Vega." Joker groaned over the comms.

"I believe Lt. Vega was making a," EDI began before Joker interrupted her.

"Yea I know, he was making a joke. Thanks EDI."

As they passed through the upper atmosphere and back into space he breathed a small sigh of relief. The familiar sense of vertigo washed over him as the Normandy's artificial gravity kicked in. Kaidan could hear the nervous laughter from the crew combined with a sense of relief as all of their systems remained stable.

"Plot a course to the relay Joker." Kaidan ordered.

Sagging down to the floor he let his head fall back against the wall as he watched the Normandy's kinetic barriers flicker protectively over the holes in her sides. If they could make those barriers hold then they would be able to make it back to Earth in relative safety. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that they were finally back in space. He didn't know how long it would take to get there but he would see Vancouver and his family again. Shepard had promised to be there waiting for him after the Reapers were destroyed and he'd certainly kept her waiting.

_Keep yourself safe, love. I'm coming back to you, just be patient a little while longer._

The Normandy might be limping but they were going home.


	15. Chapter 15

_The deadliest things can look completely harmless until it's too late. _

Standing on the bridge of the SSV Hong Kong Shepard looked out over the repaired relay with no small amount of trepidation as the rings spun slowly around the glowing eezo core. For too many years the space faring species of the galaxy had taken these gargantuan pieces of ancient technology for granted. Until the attack on the Citadel most people had assumed that the Protheans had been responsible for their creation but even after the truth had been discovered, no one had believed that they would see a time when the relays would be damaged and unusable. Without them galactic civilization was balanced on a knife's edge and the repercussions if they were unable to repair them were dire. The greatest minds available to them had managed to rebuild the Charon relay but beyond their theoretical assumptions there was no proof as yet that it would function as intended. With confirmation from the Asari and Turians that their relays were also functional it was time to send their first ship through. Grateful that it wasn't her for once, Shepard could only hope that they made it through intact.

"The Asari are preparing to send the Nevos through the relay." Captain Eric Lynton informed them as he joined Shepard and the flight crew on the bridge.

Ever since she had stepped foot aboard the Hong Kong she had been impressed by the quiet competence displayed by its Captain. With his salt and pepper hair, easy smile and generally relaxed demeanour it would have been easy to overlook the sharp mind behind the congeniality. He ran a tight ship and he clearly had the respect of his crew. A single statement from him was all it had taken to snap them out of the nervousness surrounding her presence on the ship. While she occasionally still heard the odd whisper of awe at having the saviour of the galaxy on board, for the most part they had taken the lead from their Captain and focussed on their responsibilities.

"Any word from the Turians?"

He shook his head, keeping a sharp eye on the crew and the incoming communications.

"Not yet Commander, but then it wouldn't surprise me if they're waiting to see what happens to the Nevos first."

"Aren't we all." She mused, her eyes drawn back to the relay.

The Asari had insisted that a team of their researchers would be the first to attempt a relay jump to the Sol system. Matriarch Atheyta had diplomatically pointed out the Asari's unparalleled knowledge of element zero and its uses but both she and Shepard knew that the greater truth lay buried in the rubble on Thessia.

"I have confirmation from Asari Command, Captain." Flight Lieutenant Draper acknowledged. "The Nevos is communicating with the relay and moving into the approach corridor. All fleets standing by Commander."

"Let's hope this works." Shepard muttered under her breath as she shared a worried look with Lynton.

"The relay has activated! The Nevos has left the Athena Nebula." Draper relayed.

The silence was deafening as the entire ship went quiet, waiting for news from the Nevos. Time seemed to drag on and the tension mounted as everyone mentally counted down the time it should take for the ship to arrive. Shepard kept her eyes trained on the relay, mentally willing the ship to come through unscathed. Then with a flash of blue the Nevos exited the mass relay corridor and hailed the fleets awaiting their arrival.

"All ships, this is the Nevos. We have arrived safely with no issues to report - the Mass Relay is stable."

The crew cheered and whooped in excitement as Shepard leant forward towards the console. "Nevos, this is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy, welcome to the Sol System."

"Thank you Commander." They could all hear the smile through the words and she could only imagine their relief at having arrived successfully.

Her omnitool flashed as a new message was received and she had to stifle a sigh when she saw the meeting request from Primach Victus. Shepard had heard rumblings from the Turians about having a human fleet stationed above Palaven, the memories of the First Contact War still etched on the memories of many of their generals. Victus had managed to assuage some of the concerns but even her presence at the head of the fleet had not been enough to eradicate those feelings entirely.

Winding her way across the busy deck and down to the hangar she caught snatches of conversations as the crew discussed the Nevos's safe transit between the relays. Clearly some were still worried about using the relay network and part of her couldn't blame them for their fear but it was something they would all have to put aside. As the shuttle doors closed she let her head fall back and remembered Wrex's disgusted look as he'd pointed out that the Turians had had no issues asking for Krogan help even after the genophage and the bomb on Tuchanka. It wasn't long after boarding the Turian dreadnought that she found herself wishing wish she could emulate Wrex and his way of ending conversations by simply head-butting whoever was disagreeing with him.

"You put Turian troops on Earth without a problem."

Victus sighed regretfully. "That was different Commander. The Turian fleet came as promised to help defeat the Reapers and take back your planet but now the Reapers are gone and the situation has changed. As Primarch I know that we need your help to end the fighting but you have to understand that many of my people will be uncomfortable having your kind on our world with our history."

"The war ended years ago. Don't you think it's time we all moved on?" Shepard tried to reign in her frustration.

"I agree but you can't expect an entire population to change their opinion simply because I order it. Only a handful of humans have ever set foot on Palaven and the circumstances surrounding those events were, unfortunate."

"I didn't know."

Victus waved his hand as if brushing aside the nugget of information he'd just revealed. "It is no longer relevant to the matter at hand. You of all people know that past conflicts and mistrust are the hardest to overlook while the positives are the easiest to forget. You were the one who reminded me of that Commander."

Though curious, Shepard wisely let the subject drop and focussed on the more pressing issue. "The fact remains that Palaven needs our boots on the ground to push the remaining Reaper forces back. Even with the Krogan reinforcements your troops are spread too thin."

"Agreed, our soldiers are spending more time fighting hit and run battles than actually pushing back and retaking key locations."

Bringing up scans of the main fronts Shepard frowned as her analytical mind raced through the options available to them. "You need to decide which are the key strategic points that will allow us to mount an effective counter-offensive and we need to find out how the enemies are being controlled."

"So far the reports I have received from my people only indicate that they are facing Reaper forces. There has been no sign of Cerberus. Are you certain that they are the ones behind the continued assault?"

"Your people may not be seeing them but they're the only ones we know of that have the technology to control the husks." She met and held his gaze. "They would also be the first to jump at the opportunity to weaken the strongest military force in the galaxy. Their aim is to make humans the dominant species and while the Turians control the largest fleets that will never happen."

Victus was quiet as he digested what she'd just told him, his mandibles flexing unconsciously. "I suppose it is a good sign that humanity is choosing to stand beside us then."

She nodded. "Primarch, the Alliance considers Cerberus a terrorist organization as does the Council and I will personally stand with you and every other race in the galaxy against them."

"Then I speak for every Turian when I say thank you Commander, for everything you have done for us. We all owe you a great debt."

"Let's just get those bastards off of your planet." Victus gave her what could only be called the Turian equivalent of a grin and brought up the map showing the latest troop movements on Palaven.

The following morning Shepard once again stood on the bridge of the Hong Kong as the Fifth Fleet prepared to follow the Turians to their home world. One by one the allied ships hit the relay and at her command the human fleet followed. The familiar sensations of passing into the relay corridor washed over her as she found herself unconsciously holding her breath. Annoyed she forced it out and moments later the ship exited at the target relay, arriving beside the Turian dreadnought Indomitable.

"The Orizaba confirms successful transit through the relay." The comms specialist relayed as the rest of the fleet began dropping out of FTL. "All other ships reporting in Commander." Shepard swore she heard a collective sigh of relief.

The memory of her mission on Menae to retrieve Primarch Fedorian was still fresh in her mind as they approached the Turian home world. Back then the Reapers had been brutally wiping out entire battalions on the moon as the Turians had desperately tried to find a way to stop them and the Primarch had been one of the many casualties. For all their efforts they hadn't been able to stop the destruction that had swept across Palaven and the burning cities had been clear from the moon's surface. The look of despair on Garrus's face had been heart-breaking as he'd watched his home burn knowing that his father and sister were still groundside. At least they had been able to get to safety but too many hadn't been that lucky. The casualties had been in the millions even before she'd led the fleets back to Earth.

As they flew close to Menae she heard the sharp intake of breath from Captain Lynton beside her. Reaper corpses floated lifelessly where they had been destroyed by the Crucible's beam, the lack of damage making it too easy to imagine they were simply biding their time. Her relief at seeing for herself that the strange energy blast had reached here was only slightly marred by the eeriness of navigating their ships around the monstrous hulks whose lasers were now permanently silenced.

_Even sleeping gods dream._

The fragment of memory from the derelict Reaper slipped into her thoughts. Were they truly gone or would they still be able to influence the unwary who would eventually attempt to salvage them? It didn't bear thinking about but it was something she would have to remember to discuss with Hackett and the Geth. Whatever the outcome she wasn't sure if there was ever going to be a time when they wouldn't haunt her dreams and memories, the sounds of their destruction still too fresh in her mind. For now she could only hope to live long enough to find out.


	16. Chapter 16

"When's the last time you slept?" Miranda was watching her with obvious concern.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly she realized that she'd been staring at the same data pad for over an hour and hadn't taken in any of the information. Thinking back she tried to remember the last time she'd crashed on the small rickety camping bed that was shoved in the far corner of her room but she couldn't. She slept fitfully whenever she managed it, her dreams full of menacing figures and the whispers of the dead haunting her. Invariably she would wake feeling worse than when she'd put her head down only to face another day of war.

"I caught a few hours earlier."

With her hands planted on her hips Miranda frowned in annoyance. "Shepard, you were reinforcing Grunt and Aralakh company a few hours ago. Or are you expecting me to believe you slept in your armour?"

Glancing down she winced as she realized Miranda was right. She'd removed her gauntlets but the rest her armour was still scuffed from hours of fighting and her weapons lay discarded on the table instead of meticulously cleaned and oiled in their rack. It wasn't like her to forget things like that - the training was too ingrained - but the efforts of fighting a ground war were taking their toll on her. So far the casualties had been fewer than expected but they were mounting day by day and she knew many more would be lost before this was over. The fighting was gruelling and relentless as the enemy made them bleed for every meter they clawed back from them. The Reaper forces hurled wave after wave at them until something would cause them to momentarily fall back. The respites were brief but gave them all enough time to regroup, force some rations down and reload before the husks poured back over the battlefield. While the main forces concentrated on the front line, Shepard ordered teams to flank their attackers slicing into their numbers before retreating, only to hit them again from another position. The hit and run tactics were draining them but she knew it was working as the line slowly advanced. Fresh reinforcements arrived daily, allowing the troops to switch out and seek medical attention or get rest before heading back into the fray if they were able.

All of the Hierarchy's concerns about humans on the ground had proved unfounded as they fought shoulder to shoulder with the Turian and Krogan forces, their commanders almost seamlessly working together. Regular drops from the fleets stationed in orbit kept the supplies flowing and the battle moving. A constant stream of deployment, casualty and battlefield reports bombarded Shepard's omni-tool along with stacks of datapads that waited for her every time she returned to the command post. Each required her careful attention as she directed the Alliance troops to bolster their allies. Strategic meetings with Wrex and the Primarch invariably ended abruptly when news came of a platoon that needed reinforcing or an advantage that they needed to press. Shepard actually appreciated the comparative simplicity of being in the middle of the fight. Her presence on the front lines rallied the forces and all she had to focus on was keeping her team alive as her bullets slammed into the enemy and her omni-blade sliced through the husks if they got near enough to engage in close combat. It all left little time for sleep and while she knew that she was pushing herself too hard these men and women relied on her and she wasn't going to let them down.

"Did you need something Miranda?" Shepard decided to avoid the discussion of her sleeping habits, she'd sleep when she was dead.

Miranda knew better than to push the issue. "Kasumi managed to track down the signal."

Now that was a piece of news guaranteed to get her attention. "Where's it coming from?"

"They're embedding the signal in our communications. They're using the comm towers against us."

Shepard swore under her breath. "So the only way to immediately cut off the signal would also cut off our comms. Can Kasumi neutralize the signal?"

"She thinks so but we need to get to the source. Just shutting down the signal from one of the towers is only going to stop the husks within that broadcast range."

"Ok so we'd need to get techs to each tower to jam the signal if Kasumi can't do a back-hack and trace it to its source."

"She thinks she can do it but she needs direct access to one of the towers."

All vestiges of tiredness were gone as Shepard began holstering her weapons. "Then that's what we'll give her. Get the others, we need to make a plan. The sooner we find the signal generator the sooner we can end this war."

"Well this was a great plan." Kasumi said sarcastically a few hours later as she pressed herself tightly against the comm tower trying to avoid the biotic attacks the banshees were hurling their way.

"You needed to get to the tower." Shepard reminded her as Miranda overloaded a Marauder's shields allowing her to fire two shots in quick succession, taking it down.

"I didn't mean while they're attacking me."

Shepard grinned recklessly. "Well technically they're attacking us right now so you can hack in peace."

"You have a weird idea of what's peaceful Shep."

"Enlighten me later." She quipped as she lobbed a grenade at the nearest banshee. "Grenade!"

Another banshee moved forward, shrieking in fury as it gathered itself to teleport closer.

"Shields down!" Miranda called, her biotics flaring brightly as she slammed the creature into the ground.

Grunt roared as he stormed forward, unloading his shotgun into the banshee as it struggled to rise. With a final scream it subsided as husks surged forward only to be thrown backwards by Samara's biotic throw.

"Quickly Shepard, we have almost succeeded in driving them back enough to give Kasumi more time." The normally calm Justicar urged as she unleashed her powerful reave against the enemies.

Grunt's gleeful chuckle was clear to hear over their weapons as he tore through the husks, alternating between unloading his shotgun and ripping them apart with his bare hands. More shrieks pierced the air as another wave of banshees materialized in front of them, flanked by snarling brutes.

"I got it!" Kasumi shouted mere seconds before the husks froze in their tracks, silently collapsing to the ground.

The sudden silence was disconcerting as they stared at the corpses in disbelief. Cautiously nudging a husk with his foot, Grunt pointed his shotgun and shot it at point blank range. At Shepard's look he shrugged with a grin.

"What? Had to be sure it was dead."

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Are you going to check every husk out here?"

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest. "Nah, just the really ugly ones."

"Come on, let's get back to the command post and take a look at the data before Cerberus shows up and tries to fix their signal."

The look of relief on Kasumi's face was almost comical as they re-entered the tactical command building. Taking off her protective gear the slender thief sighed in undisguised pleasure as she lifted her hood back into place and sat on one of the chairs, raising her legs and hooking her arms around her knees. Glad to be rid of her own helmet and gauntlets for a little while Shepard loaded up the data onto the large console dominating the centre of the room as Primarch Victus entered.

"Shepard, glad to see you made it back in one piece."

"Kasumi managed to get the data we were looking for Primarch." Shepard indicated the console as the system updated the map to include the new information.

The Primarch's mandibles flared as a marker appeared far from any of the cities they were currently fighting to reclaim. "Are you sure this data is correct?"

Kasumi smirked. "Of course, I did hack the signal and trace it back to its original transmitter."

"What's the problem?" Shepard surveyed the area shown on the map. The location was remote and away from the main fighting, the kind of area it would make sense for Cerberus to use if they were orchestrating a long and bloody war.

"I was expecting them to be using the remains of one of our cities as their base. Whatever resources we might have left would be easier to find there. That area is nothing but desert with canyons and a few dried up riverbeds."

"The perfect place to stay off of the radar." She mused.

"Agreed but we can't afford to divert our troops to that location. Even if you're right and disrupting this signal will stop the enemy, until you manage to shut it off my people will be vulnerable."

"Then I'll go in with my team and we'll shut down the transmitter."

"Surely we could just get a small team of techs to go and disable the signal at the other towers like your team managed today."

"That will only work until Cerberus figures out a way to enable them again." Shepard pointed out.

The Primarch sighed. "How do we even know that this will bring an end to the conflict?"

Shepard gave him a hard look. "Primarch every day more of our men are dying out there and countless others have been taken by Cerberus to be turned into more of those things. We need to stop this now and the only way to guarantee that it to shut down that base."

"You don't even know that there is a base there. We have seen no signs of Cerberus despite your assertions that they are controlling the Reaper forces."

"That's where the signal is coming from and that's where we'll destroy these husks for good and save your people."

The Turian sighed, knowing it was no use arguing with her. "A shuttle can get you there in a few hours."

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We'll stop them Primarch, I promise you."

As dawn broke the following morning Shepard slowly crawled to the crest of the small hill, not wanting to be skylined by the rising sun and alert the enemies below. Hundreds of husks milled around the pass ahead of her team's position, the chilling moans rising only to be punctuated by a banshee's shriek. Her heart sank as she realized that there was no way they could employ stealth to skirt around the enemy forces and a frontal assault was tantamount to suicide. Gritting her teeth she analysed her options and realized that none of them were ideal. No matter what she tried the enemies below would be engaged and any forces within the base would be immediately alerted. The only option was to take out the Reaper troops and try to get to the base before Cerberus had time to mount an effective defence.

Slipping back below the ridge she contacted the fleet stationed in orbit above them. It took a moment for Captain Lynton to get over his shock at her order but at her insistence he reluctantly relayed it to the crew. Without waiting for confirmation she sprinted to where her team waited behind the relative safety of a large rock outcropping.

"Incoming orbital strike!" Shepard yelled to her team as she dove for cover.

Moments later it seemed as if the world itself exploded. The enraged shrieks of the banshees became wails as they fell under the bombardment until the din of the attack drowned out all other sounds. The ground shook and heaved violently under the assault, throwing the unprepared husks to the ground moments before they were incinerated. Dirt showered Shepard's team as the dust and smoke rose from the ruined ground and as her ears stopped ringing she noticed that the battlefield was silent. Moving cautiously forward she surveyed the damage. Huge gaping craters scarred the pass and what enemy forces hadn't been obliterated lay scattered and barely recognizable.

At her signal the others followed as she took point, her eyes scanning the terrain for any remaining husks. The strike had been necessary to clear a path to the base but it had also alerted all of the Cerberus forces in the area and no doubt reinforcements were being sent to their location. The entrance was well concealed in a small indent in the cliff face, hidden by the jagged stone and fallen boulders. Kasumi slipped forward and began hacking the security system on the door while the rest of the team fanned out, keeping their weapons ready for any sign of movement.

"They know we're coming so we have to expect them to be waiting for us in force." Shepard spoke quietly over the comms. Each member of the team nodded their acknowledgement. "Samara, I want you to throw up a barrier for us as soon as Kasumi gets that door open and we're exposed."

"Of course Shepard." The Justicar inclined her head regally as she holstered her assault rifle and readied her biotics.

"Almost got it Shep." Kasumi warned them as she cloaked herself.

The security system disengaged with a chime seconds before the doors hissed open. With a flare of blue Samara surrounded them with a powerful barrier as they all sighted their weapons in expectation of enemy fire. Silence greeted them. The hangar was empty except for a few crates scattered around the edge of the room and an elevator located along the back wall.

"This isn't right Shepard." Grunt growled, voicing the uneasiness they all felt.

"You're sure the signal is coming from this base?"

Kasumi nodded as she double checked her omni-tool. "It's here alright."

"Commander, this is clearly a trap."

"We don't have a choice." Shepard was hesitant, all of her instincts screaming at her that something was wrong but locating and shutting down the transmitter was the priority and the only way to do it was to move forward.

Samara maintained the barrier around them though the dim light filtering through the open doorway did little to aid them as they made their way cautiously through the hangar. As Shepard pressed the pad to call the elevator a red warning light flared and the doors to the hangar slammed shut behind them. Small red lights lit up around the room as an ominous beep sounded, rapidly increasing in tempo.

_Oh shit, this place is rigged to blow!_

It was all she had time to think before the room imploded around them in a flash of blinding light and her world went dark.


	17. Chapter 17

The mood in the mess was strangely subdued as the Normandy re-entered the Sol system. As the crew buzzed around them with excitement Kaidan sat with the original crewmates from the SR-1, feeling a sense of trepidation as the Normandy winged her way back towards Earth. He knew he should be ecstatic to be returning home knowing that the Reapers had been defeated but worry gnawed at him. The newly repaired comm buoy by Therum had put them back in contact with Earth and the Alliance. Admiral Hackett had been stunned and immensely relieved to hear from them, especially once it had been confirmed that the Council was safely onboard. A huge weight had lifted from his heart when Hackett had told him of Shepard's survival but other than informing them that Shepard was not at Alliance Command the Admiral had remained strangely reticent, insisting instead that it would all be discussed when he debriefed Kaidan upon their return to Earth. He'd tried sending messages to her or getting her on the vid comm but EDI hadn't been able to find her location. The AI had even offered to search through the Alliance secured files to uncover any information on Shepard's whereabouts but he'd refused, not wanting to risk a court martial when he was so close to seeing her again.

None of this had turned out the way he had expected, though he wasn't exactly sure what he'd thought would happen after the war. The last time they'd returned to Earth he had been anxiously anticipating the fight ahead, ready to put a permanent end to the Reapers. When Shepard had made the decision to divert their shuttle and take out the Hades Cannon he'd realized that the likelihood of any of them surviving was slim to none. The look in her eyes had told him she knew it too but she was still going to do what needed to be done, even if it meant sacrificing herself. Facing each other for that final goodbye it had taken every ounce of willpower he had possessed to let her go. Her eyes had been desolate as she'd turned away and in that moment he hadn't cared about who was watching or the regs as he'd pulled her back for that last kiss. But this was Shepard and she hadn't let her fear conquer her as they'd battled through the war torn streets and his pride in her had warred with the desperate desire to keep her safely beside him. Her determination had carried them for the final push to the conduit even as they'd tried to avoid Harbinger's lasers. He'd only had a split second to see the team being hit before he was thrown back into the rubble. By the time he'd staggered to his feet Shepard was gone along with the beam and he'd been ordered back to the Normandy for a last ditch attempt to rescue the Council.

Now after so many years of fighting it seemed surreal to have finally reached the end of their journey. Garrus kept returning to his station to check the Normandy's weapons only to sigh and turn back knowing that there was no more need. With communications re-established with Sol Tali was busying herself with reports from the other Admirals of the Flotilla still in orbit around Earth while Liara was hard at work trying to resurrect her connections as the Shadow Broker. When the Normandy landed it was all going to change and none of them knew what the future held for them.

Stepping out of the med bay Karin Chakwas placed five glasses on the table and held up a half empty bottle of Serrice Ice brandy.

"The Commander and I had an agreement that once a year we would sit together over a bottle of brandy and remember our friends and those we've lost." She ran a finger over the glass of the bottle, her tone melancholy. "We shared some of this before the mission on Thessia because I don't think either of us thought we were going to make it through the Reapers."

"Shouldn't you save it for when we get to Earth?" Garrus asked gently.

"When Shepard and I drank this it was a goodbye of sorts. It's only fitting that we share the rest now. We were there at the beginning chasing Saren so it's only fitting that we share the rest together now that we've achieved the impossible." She poured a couple fingers of brandy for each of them, producing a straw for Tali. Holding the glass loosely in her hand Chakwas stared thoughtfully into the amber liquid for a moment before meeting each of their gazes in turn. "Shepard was always our rock, our immovable centre while the galaxy exploded around us. I don't know where any of us would be without her."

"To Shepard and those we've lost along the way." Liara raised her glass in a toast as the others repeated it and raised theirs before downing the alcohol.

Straightening determinedly Garrus pushed back from the table. "Well since Shepard's not going to appreciate us toasting her as if she were dead I'm going to get ready for our arrival. Tali, if you've got a minute I need to talk to you."

Biting back a grin Kaidan watched the small Quarian hesitate before following her lover to his quarters. She'd joked about it merely being a fling between them but it was clear that her feelings ran much deeper and there was no way that Garrus was going to step off of this ship without having made a decision about their future. It left Kaidan with too many questions about his own relationship with Shepard. They had avoided speaking about the future, both having been soldiers long enough to not want to make promises they most likely wouldn't be able to keep. At least now they might have a chance to think about their future and he could only hope she still loved him enough to want to make that future with him. Once again absorbed in the data on her omni-tool, Liara excused herself and disappeared back into her quarters, her conversation with Glyph cut off from their hearing as the doors closed.

"Well you did it Kaidan, you got us all home." Dr. Chakwas interrupted his thoughts.

"Not all of us Doctor, I couldn't save Allers."

Chakwas snorted. "Hell I never liked her but that doesn't stop her death being an unavoidable tragedy. Don't blame yourself for that."

The truth of her words did little to dim the guilt of losing someone under hiscommand so he changed tact. "Thank you for all your help Dr. Chakwas, it's been a privilege serving with you."

"And with you Major." She gazed around the mess at the Alliance crew moving around them with fondness. "You know after everything we've been through this crew is more like a family than simply shipmates. It reminds me of the SR-1 before we lost it and how it all fell apart without the Commander."

He sighed, turning the glass absently to catch the light. "I guess no one ever thought there would be a time without her there."

Chakwas leant forward and put a comforting hand on his arm. "You suffered more than the rest of us but you got a second chance and now you both have the opportunity to live and figure out what will bring you joy. Cherish that Kaidan."

"I'll try my best Doctor. So what will you do now that you won't have to patch us up after every mission?" he teased.

"I think they'll need good doctors now more than ever but if I had the chance to stay on a starship I would. Jeff may have EDI now but he'll always suffer from Vrolik's Syndrome and I would like the opportunity to keep treating him."

As she spoke the very man in question spoke over the comms. "Hey Kaidan, you're needed on the bridge."

The excitement was palpable around the CIC as he made his way to the bridge only to find the Council members waiting for him.

"Councillors." He greeted with a nod as Councillor Sparatus stepped forward. "Admiral Hackett is sending a team to meet you and take you to Alliance Command where you will be able to liaise with your governments."

"That's excellent news but we wished to speak with you before we land, Major."

Councillor Tevos nodded. "It's thanks to you and your crew that we survived to see the end of the Reapers. We owe you our lives."

"You owe Commander Shepard your lives Councillors. None of us would be here if it wasn't for her."

"You are right of course, the Commander saved the Council on numerous occasions and was instrumental in destroying the Reaper threat. However, it was the Normandy that got us off of the Citadel. Udina may have betrayed us all but he was right in insisting we make you a Spectre." Councillor Valern gave Kaidan an appraising look. "There will be much to do now that the war is over Major. We need good Spectres now more than ever so I assume you will continue fulfilling your duties?"

Kaidan barely stopped himself from rocking back on his heels in surprise. They hadn't even set foot on Earth yet and they were expecting him to take up his role as a Spectre immediately? Slowly unclenching his jaw he realized that it made sense. Now that they were back in communication with the rest of the races the Council needed to help bring stability back to the war torn galaxy and they needed their agents to do so. His personal life was of little importance amongst a galactic population struggling to rebuild and survive and for once he understood all too clearly what Shepard had faced for all these years.

"Of course Councillors, once I have been debriefed by the Alliance." He heard himself responding, always the good soldier.

Sparatus nodded, pleased. "Excellent Major, just remember that you are more than simply an Alliance soldier, you are our representative."

Inclining his head politely as they stepped away, Kaidan tried not to grind his teeth as he picked up his duffle bag from where he'd left it on the bridge earlier. The Alliance would take possession of the Normandy the minute the airlock opened and he knew that there would be little chance to gather personal belongings when that happened. Footlockers would be removed by Alliance personnel and sent to the barracks but he knew from the first time they had claimed the SR-2 that they were not particularly concerned about other items left aboard the ship. He had brought very few things onto the Normandy when he'd rejoined the crew, only his gear and a few things he'd picked up on the Citadel so it had been easy to throw those into the duffel. It was Shepard's personal items that had him keeping a tight hold of the bag. Unwilling to let them be lost he had carefully packed her Star of Terra and the few things she'd kept in her cabin. There was always a chance that Shepard was going to be waiting for them when they docked but the feeling of unease had been growing in his heart ever since they'd returned to Sol and he hadn't heard anything from her. Even if he ignored her feelings for him he knew her well enough that Shepard would have ensured that her crew was safe.

His attention was diverted as Joker expertly guided the ship through the atmosphere and Vancouver finally appeared below them. The damage was still visible but massive efforts were clearly underway to rebuild the city. Hackett had told him that his parents were helping out in one of the refugee camps close to Alliance Command and he imagined that if he looked hard enough as they flew past that he might be able to see them. While the thought was clearly fanciful he did hope that as the Normandy crossed English Bay towards the Alliance dockyards that his parents would look up to see her and know that he was safe.

The docking clamps locked into place as Joker powered the thrusters down. The vents around the airlock hissed as the ship depressurized to match the outside atmosphere. Only Joker and EDI seemed subdued about their arrival as the crew hurried through their final tasks in an effort to get ashore faster.

"Nice work getting us back." Kaidan complimented the pilot. When he only got a small shrug in reply he frowned. "What's up?"

The other man gave him a disbelieving look. "What's up? This whole situation sucks."

"What are you talking about? We just made it back home and the war is over."

Joker shared a look with EDI. "Yeah we're back on Earth but we're handing Shepard's ship back to the Alliance and she's not here. It isn't right."

"Shepard wouldn't expect any different." But he understood the sentiment. It had felt wrong being in command of the Normandy – hell even being on the Normandy – without her.

"Maybe but I'm still waiting for her to show up and yell at me for taking her ship. So what happens now?" Kaidan gave the other man a questioning look, unsure what he meant. "The war's over, we saved the damn galaxy so there's no need for Commander Shepard and the Normandy anymore."

It seemed they were all worrying about the same thing. "You're still going to fly Joker."

The pilot looked at him like he was an idiot. "I'm the best damn pilot in the Alliance, of course I'm going to fly but it'll suck if I can't fly my baby, especially with EDI on board. But it's all going to change, Garrus, Tali and Liara are probably going home, Vega's got his N7 training and the rest of the crew will be reassigned."

"Change isn't necessarily a bad thing. It wasn't exactly great having the whole galaxy relying on us while the Reapers were taking out entire colonies."

"Yea I know that sucked but what happens to the Commander now?" He gave Kaidan a sideways look. "Hell, what happens to you two now? The Alliance isn't going to let you serve together anymore."

"Let's just take one thing at a time Joker." It was all he could say when he didn't know the answers himself.

Moving to the airlock he squared his shoulders as the doors slid open before stepping out to meet the waiting Alliance officers. Part of him was expecting Shepard to be there waiting for him with that half-grin of hers asking him why he'd kept her waiting so long but when he saw Admiral Hackett approaching he knew she wasn't there. Coming to attention he gave a crisp salute.

"At ease, Major, it's good to see you all back in one piece."

"Not all of us Sir. Diana Allers was killed during the emergency landing on Proteus."

The Admiral gave a nod of acknowledgement. "Her death is unfortunate but it could have been much worse. We've lost too many people already."

Kaidan frowned at Hackett's words. "Isn't the war over now Sir?"

Instead of answering the Admiral turned to greet the Councillors. Once the required pleasantries had been exchanged he directed one of the waiting teams to take them to the rooms put aside for their use. Glancing at Kaidan he inclined his head towards the end of the walkway.

"I wanted to wait until you could be debriefed properly Major but the situation has changed. Commander Shepard is currently on Palaven with the Fifth Fleet helping the Turians retake their home world."

"Did the Crucible fail?"

Hackett linked his hands behind his back as he gave Kaidan a hard look. "Shepard got the Crucible to fire and the blast destroyed the Reapers. As you are no doubt aware it also took out the comms and the mass relays. However it seems that Cerberus is controlling the Reaper ground forces on Palaven with the technology you helped uncover on Sanctuary."

The images of husks and the ruthless experiments Henry Lawson had conducted on helpless refugees flashed through his mind. He had been all too happy to help Shepard and Miranda shut that death factory down.

"So how do we stop them?"

"Commander Shepard and her team were making a strike on the main Cerberus facility but we lost contact with them a few hours ago."

An icy shiver made its way up his spine and it took an effort to keep his voice calm. "Requesting permission to join the Fifth Fleet, Admiral."

Hackett didn't look surprised at the request. "Major Alenko, while I admire the sentiment the Normandy is in no shape to enter a war zone. There are enough troops on the ground to lead a search once they've secured the area. Right now you have the crew to think about and the ship needs repairs."

"With all due respect sir, any crew member wishing to stay on Earth can do so but we are Shepard's team and with us leading the search you won't have to divert any troops away from the ground assault." He paused, worried he was pushing his luck too far. He didn't have the close relationship with the stern faced Admiral that Shepard did and couldn't read the pale gaze that Hackett turned on him. "The Alliance can put the Normandy in for repairs as soon as we return but when we do it'll be with Shepard on board."

Hackett gave him a long assessing look before finally nodding. "Bring the Commander home Major."

"Aye aye sir!" Saluting he released the breath he'd been holding in fear that the Admiral would refuse their request.

Not wanting to give Hackett a chance to change his mind Kaidan hurried back to the Normandy, throwing out an order to Joker to get the entire crew assembled in the mess. Crew members crammed into the lift with him, each wondering why he was calling them together. Aware of the expectant looks he climbed the few steps leading to the gun battery knowing he was about to ask a lot of them. They'd only just made it home and many were desperately worried about their families.

"A few hours ago the Alliance lost contact with Commander Shepard's team on Palaven. The Commander was trying to disable a signal controlling the Reaper forces using technology recovered from the Cerberus base on Sanctuary." An audible gasp whispered through the assembled crew, he knew the images of what they'd seen there had filtered through the ship. "Admiral Hackett has authorized me to take the Normandy and lead the search for her team. I know you all have friends and loved ones that you're worried about so those of you who wish to stay on Earth may do so. For any who choose to stay on board, we leave in thirty minutes. Dismissed."

Exactly thirty minutes later the docking clamps released and the Normandy pulled out of the dockyard, making a graceful turn before the thrusters flared and powered her out of the atmosphere with every single crew member still aboard.


	18. Chapter 18

"Shepard are you alright?" She could barely hear Samara's worried voice over the ringing in her ears.

Head throbbing she grimaced as she pushed herself up onto her knees, wondering why they hadn't been crushed by the ceiling collapsing on top of them after the initial shockwave had thrown them back. As her vision cleared she realized that Samara and Miranda were both using their biotic barriers to keep the rubble at bay but they were struggling as the effort of holding up such a vast weight drained their energy.

"Is everyone alright?" Standing she helped Kasumi back onto her feet before retrieving the assault rifle that had been thrown from her hand in the blast.

"We're ok Shepard but we need to find a way out of here, Samara and I can't hold the ceiling up forever."

"Got it. Command centre this is Shepard, do you read me? I repeat, this is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy do you copy?" There was no reply, somehow their comms were being blocked. "Alright, we're on our own. Kasumi, Grunt, let's try and pry that elevator door open."

"What's your plan Shepard?" Grunt grabbed the edge of one of the doors and waited for Shepard to lock her fingers around the warped edge of the other before starting to pull.

"There are still personnel on this base, otherwise they wouldn't have known when to set off those charges. There's no way they would have destroyed their only way out." With a heave they managed to open a small gap in the doors.

"So you think there's another way out." Kasumi sounded dubious as they worked the doors open until they were wide enough for even Grunt to squeeze through.

"The signal's still up right?" The thief nodded. "Then it means that this place is still operational. If we climb down the elevator shaft we can get to the lower levels and find another way out."

Bracing herself between the doors she waited as Kasumi swung lightly through the doors and onto the maintenance ladder running the length of the shaft. With a growl Grunt managed to force his way between the doors and follow her, the darkness only relieved by the lights from their omni-tools and the ethereal blue of the biotics.

"Ok you guys are next." Shepard called to the two women straining to give them enough time to get clear.

Miranda glanced at Samara as they walked slowly backwards towards the elevator. "You go, I can keep this up long enough for us to get clear."

"Are you certain?" Samara gave a worried glance at the crushing weight of debris above them.

"Go!" Miranda yelled as she flared even more brightly, bringing the full power of her biotics to bear as Samara released hers to slip between the doors and into the shaft.

The immense pressure nearly dropped Miranda to her knees and she gave Shepard a desperate look. Extending her hand towards the other woman, Shepard grabbed a secure handhold, ready to take their weight.

"I've got your back Miranda."

Swallowing hard Miranda straightened and tried to walk backwards towards Shepard. An ear-splitting grinding noise echoed through the room as her biotics began to flicker and weaken. The barrier began to flex just as Shepard grabbed Miranda's outstretched hand and yanked her through the opening, pulling them both behind the relative safety of the door. With a final flare the biotics vanished and the ceiling came crashing to the ground, the power of it nearly dislodging Shepard from where she protected her exhausted teammate. Dust burst through the open doors into the shaft, threatening to irritate her lungs had she not still been wearing her helmet. Once the other woman seemed steady enough to move on her own the team slowly made their way down the ladder, the small pinpoints of light from the omni-tools barely cutting through the gloom.

"This place is spooky." Kasumi muttered under her breath. "Never thought I'd be stuck in an elevator shaft hoping a Krogan wasn't about to fall on me."

A chuckle rumbled in Grunt's chest. "Don't worry I'll hold on. A soft human like you wouldn't make for much of a comfortable landing anyway."

"You say the nicest things Grunt." Her light scanned the walls as they descended. "I think there's another set of doors just below me."

"Can you get them open?"

"If the power is still up I can hack them Shep."

"Let's hope there isn't another surprise waiting for us." Miranda remarked, only half in jest.

Shimmying her way along the wall, Shepard refused to look down into the yawning black below as she worked her way slowly towards Kasumi. Anyone waiting on the other side of those doors was not going to be friendly and she'd rather be in position to deal with the threats than leave her team exposed as they tried to exit the lift shaft.

_At least this time I'm not going to have an armed standoff with Kaidan, just a whole lot of pissed off Cerberus agents - great._ She mentally groaned as she looped her arm through one of the support struts and grabbed her pistol. There was no way she would be able to use her assault rifle effectively until she got her boots back on the ground so she was going to have to make every shot count with the limited magazine.

With a beep the security disengaged and the door slid open. Two Cerberus agents started in surprise but barely had time to react before Shepard took them out. With no immediate reaction to the downing of two agents, Shepard vaulted up through the doors, keeping her pistol raised as the others pulled themselves out of the shaft. Crouching down she checked both bodies for a communicator only to find the markings of Reaper tech embedded in their skin.

"It looks like they're still _improving_ their soldiers." Her lip curled in distaste at what Cerberus had done to their men. She had witnessed the Illusive Man's indoctrination first hand and had seen too many examples of their 'improvements' since Mars to believe that they still held humanity's best interests at heart.

The hallway was white and sterile like the other Cerberus bases she'd seen. This floor seemed to be taken up mainly by storage rooms and a few offices which also explained the lack of guards. To their collective relief one of the doors opened onto a narrow stairwell which spiralled down leading to the lower levels of the complex. The floor they found themselves on was very different to the one above. Laboratory equipment dominated the worktops and eerily familiar containment tubes stood against one of the far walls.

"Shepard, this is what we saw on Sanctuary." Miranda's disgust was evident. "They've been turning our own soldiers into husks and throwing them back at us."

"It sure seems that way." Shepard's face was grim as she moved to check each of the pods, only marginally relieved when she found them empty. "Kasumi can you get any data off of those terminals?"

She shook her head. "They've all been wiped clean. Maybe if I had more time to analyse them I could recover something but I think they've noticed us."

"Get to cover!" Shepard ducked behind one of the partitions as the doors at the far end of the room opened and Cerberus troops began pouring in.

The fight was short and brutal as Shepard's team methodically took down the attackers until their guns finally fell silent. A couple of small fires burned around the room and bullet marks tracked across the walls but they were unscathed. Grabbing a few of the discarded clips, she quickly reloaded and swept her rifle from side to side as they stepped through the doorway into the next room.

What she saw made her recoil in horror. Bright lights illuminated a massive lab with cages full of human and Turian soldiers dominating the far wall. Many were slumped on the ground, unable to raise their heads at the new presence. Others began to moan weakly, desperately trying to get them to unlock the doors with what little strength remained. Stainless steel tables were lined in front of the cages, too many had sheets draped over motionless forms. A pair of huge doors were visible beyond what appeared to be surgery suites along the opposite wall.

Moving quickly to the cages Shepard stopped in front of one of the few men who look coherent and removed her helmet. "What's your name soldier?"

"Barnes ma'am, Staff Sergeant Greg Barnes of the 220." Taking in the N7 logo on her armour the man straightened his shoulders, holding on to whatever dignity he had left.

"How did you get here Sergeant?"

"Those damn husks overwhelmed my squad but instead of killing us they dragged us back here." His gaze drifted to the sectioned off rooms on the other side of the lab. "They've been experimenting on us, creating more of those things. We lost some good people."

"It wasn't your fault Barnes."

"Are you here to get us out?" A plaintive voice piped up. Eyes that seemed too big in a gaunt face stared at her with a mixture of hope and despair.

"You're Shepard aren't you?" One of the Turians moved closer to the bars. The other prisoners began whispering and pushing themselves to their feet at her name.

"Yes and I'm going to get you all out of here." At her nod the others started disabling the locks on the cage doors and within moments they swung open, releasing the hostages.

Staggering out many of the soldiers gazed around the room warily, desperate for their freedom but expecting more Cerberus troops to appear and force them back into the cages. The ones who still had their strength helped the weaker ones stand and slowly walk again.

Sergeant Barnes came to stand beside her. "Thank you Commander."

"Don't thank me yet, we still have to get out of here."

"They would send out their creatures through those doors after they'd turned them. A few of the others were taken there earlier. I don't know if any of them are still alive though."

"Stay here while we go and check it out." He snorted at her words, knowing full well he wasn't in any shape to help fight anyone.

Leaving Kasumi and Grunt to help the soldiers Shepard walked cautiously towards the surgical area. The doors slid open silently as she approached, the smell of blood and antiseptic in the operating room almost overwhelming. She heard Samara and Miranda gasp in horror as they saw the bodies splayed on the operating tables, covered in cuts and slashes from the automated surgery blades now motionless above them. Moving to each table Shepard saw the tell-tale signs of Reaper tech having been implanted in the now lifeless bodies. Sadness squeezed her heart as she pulled the sheets up to cover them, granting them what little respect she could.

As she stepped up to the last table the tortured figure gave a rattling wheeze, his eyes snapping open as he reached out and grabbed her wrist. Samara and Miranda reacted immediately, aiming their weapons and ready to fire before Shepard gave them the order to stop. Surprised, they marginally lowered the muzzles of their guns as she stared down into the very human eyes that watched her with fear.

"Help me." The voice was barely a whisper as he forced the words through dried, split lips.

"Who are you?" She asked gently, one eye on the scalpels poised ominously above him.

"Corporal Samuel Patricks ma'am."

"Alright Patricks, I'm going to find a way to help you."

His grip on her wrist tightened as a liquid cough rasped through his lungs. "You can't stop what's happening to me. I feel it spreading, taking control of my body, I can't fight it."

"Just hang on for me Samuel." She insisted as she looked to Miranda for help.

Blood still oozed from the wounds that covered his body and the implanted tech glowed a menacing blue through small patches of skin. It was incredible that he'd managed to survive the procedure but despite her protests she knew that soon the implants would take control of his system, forcibly rewriting his genetic code and destroying any shred of humanity.

"There's nothing we can do for him Shepard." Miranda confirmed her fears. "Even if we could stop the process his body has been through too much trauma."

"Shepard, the Savior of the Citadel." Patricks coughed again, bloody spittle running from the corner of his mouth as his wavering voice filled with urgency. "Don't let Cerberus turn me into a monster – please! Let me stay human for what little time I have left."

"I don't know how." She admitted brokenly as she saw blue pinpoints of light appear in the irises of his brown eyes.

His gaze was unwavering and demanding on hers as he made the damning request. "Kill me! End my pain before it's too late."

While her mind rebelled at the thought of killing the man lying helplessly before her, in her heart she knew there was no choice. If she didn't do as he asked the Reaper tech would flood his system, irrevocably changing him into a creature she would have to kill anyway. At least this way he could die the man that he was instead of the monster Cerberus had created.

"Is there anything here to make it peaceful for him?" she asked Miranda, seeing the burden of what she had to do reflected in the other woman's eyes. She closed her eyes tightly against the pain that washed over her as Miranda handed her a needle filled with clear liquid.

"It should be painless." She said softly so that only Shepard could hear.

Being as gentle as possible she inserted the needle under the skin and met Samuel's gaze as her finger hovered over the plunger. He took a deep shuddering breath, his nostrils flaring as he gave her the nod. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye as she clasped his hand while the chemical flooded his bloodstream.

With the little strength he had left Samuel gave her hand a squeeze. "Thank you Shepard for saving me."

His final breath sighed out as his eyes slid closed and his body gave one final spasm before stilling, his hand going limp in hers. Pulling the sheet over his head she hoped that he would find peace in whatever waited for them beyond this life. Sorrow filled her as Thane's final prayer echoed through her mind.

_Kalahira, this one's heart is pure but set by wickedness and contention. Guide him to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. _

"You gave him an honourable death Shepard, he is at peace now." Samara spoke quietly beside her.

"It's not enough." She ground out the words as she tried to temper the anger inside of her. Taking a deep breath she fell back on her training and searched for her inner calm. Allowing her fury free reign would get them all killed and with so many still relying on her to get them out safely she needed to compartmentalize her feelings and keep a clear head. Checking her rifle she moved to the doors. "Let's put an end to this."

Lights flickered down the long narrow corridor that they passed through, Shepard taking point with Miranda and Samara before the wounded and weary soldiers followed, protected by Kasumi and Grunt. It seemed as if Cerberus had ordered the withdrawal of the rest of their troops as the areas they moved through appeared deserted.

"The signal is coming from just ahead of us." Kasumi called to them as they rounded the next corner.

"Samara, you and Grunt head that way and try and get them to the other exit and contact Allied Command. We'll disable the signal and be right behind you."

Waiting until the group disappeared through the other door they entered the room housing the communications hub broadcasting the signal.

"See if you can get anything from the consoles while I set the charges. The threat to Palaven remains until we destroy the source of the signal." It only took a few minutes for Shepard to place the charges around the transmitter. "Let's go, we've got twenty minutes."

As they left, Kasumi slammed the door behind them, shorting out the security with her omni-tool and making it impossible to open in time to stop the detonation sequence. They ran down the adjacent hallway, ducking through doorways and praying that they weren't about to find themselves in the middle of a fire fight. Eventually the corridor widened and they caught up with the other group in the control room overlooking another hangar. Empty of any shuttles she could only assume that the other Cerberus troops had already taken them and left, leaving them stranded.

Sergeant Barnes moved away from the group to stand close to her so that his voice didn't carry. "Shepard we can't take these men outside without the barriers that their armour provided. With the state they're in the high radiation levels will kill them."

"I think we've got a bigger problem on our hands right now." Miranda pointed as the hangar doors slowly began to open, revealing a horde of Reaper forces waiting outside.

Her mind raced as she ran through what options they had. She couldn't send the men back the way they came and risk them getting caught in the blast but the control room with all its windows was not a viable defensive position. Once the transmitter was destroyed the husks should collapse and their comms restored which would allow them to call for a pickup. Looking at her team she knew that they had all come to the same conclusion, they would have to hold off the attackers until the bomb went off.

"Sergeant, we're going to keep those things off of you until the signal is taken offline, then we should be able to contact the Alliance." He nodded, his expression grim as the first Banshee let out a spine chilling shriek.

Pulling her helmet back on, Shepard checked the clip in her assault rifle she nodded to her team and opened the door leading down into the hangar. Seeing approaching targets the husks hurled themselves forwards as gunfire began tearing through their ranks. Biotic blasts hurled them into the air and for a brief moment Shepard's team were able to push them back and out of the hangar.

"We have to keep them away from the control room long enough for the transmitter to be destroyed!" Shepard ordered as they took up defensive positions.

Just another fifteen minutes was all they needed. Shepard sent a prayer to whoever might be listening and hoped they could hold out until then.


	19. Chapter 19

The ground team were already suited up and checking their weapons as Joker brought the Normandy within sight of Shepard's last known coordinates. It had come as no surprise to Kaidan when Garrus had insisted on being groundside on his own home world and the others had quickly followed suit. Even EDI had been stubbornly insistent despite Joker's concerns.

"Major Alenko, there are a large number of Reaper forces on the ground." EDI paused. "My scans are picking up Shepard's life signs along with Ms. Lawson, Ms. Goto, Grunt and Justicar Samara engaging the hostiles. There are further human and Turian life signs within the hangar."

"We're in sight now, opening the shuttle bay." The concern was clear in Joker's voice as the door began to lower.

Gunfire and the screams of banshees were clearly audible over the sound of the thrusters as Joker powered them down to slow the Normandy. Hundreds of husks were swarming forward towards an opening in the rock face, banshees and brutes plowing through their own ranks to get to the small human forms firing at them. Kaidan's heart began to pound as he caught a glimpse of the oh so familiar black armour with the N7 markings trying to hold off the enemies threatening to overwhelm them.

"I see Shepard down there!" James shouted as he raised his rifle, ready to move.

Fighting off the fear the gripped him, Kaidan considered his options. "EDI can you patch us into their comms?"

"Negative Major, something is blocking communications around the base."

Biting back on his frustration he tried a different tact. "Joker, can we take out any of those husks heading towards Shepard and her team?"

"Only if you want to bring that rock face down on top of them."

"We need to get down there Kaidan." Liara's voice was insistent, her eyes shining with worry.

Garrus chimed in. "There's no way Shepard couldn't have seen the Normandy and you know she always has a plan. If we can divert them for long enough maybe we can give her team time to get it done."

"Agreed. Joker get us close enough to the ground to deploy then get the Normandy away from those banshees. We don't need them taking out our ride home."

"Roger that." The pilot acknowledged as he brought the ship as close to the ground as he dared.

"Cortez, get the shuttle prepped in case we need a quick extraction. Liara, Garrus and EDI go around and try to flank them from the other side. James, Tali, Javik and I will hit them from here." Each team member gave a nod of acknowledgement before jumping lightly to the ground, weapons at the ready.

Waiting for a moment to give the other team time to put some distance between them, the same thought beat a tattoo in his mind.

_I have to get to Shepard._

He knew that as a soldier she had no equal and had proven her ability to hold off overwhelming forces during the Skyllian Blitz but this was different. She and her team were pinned down with seemingly no way out and their ammo running low. Not even she could hold off the Reaper troops indefinitely.

They were slowly being pushed back and Shepard didn't know how much longer they could keep up the defence. Seeing the Normandy appear in the skies above them had lifted her heart, the breath catching in her chest as she realized that though the ship had clearly been damaged at least some of the crew must still be alive. Pride swelled as she realized that they had come for her even though she knew that their backup would need time to ease the pressure on her team in the hangar. With the comms down she had no way of knowing who was on board but she knew help was coming one way or another.

For now she had to focus on the task at hand. Their limited supply of ammo meant that they had to be conservative with their shots but with the Reaper forces throwing themselves forward it was becoming harder to hold them back. So far they were succeeding through a combination of her and Grunt's brute force and the tech and biotic abilities of the others. It was what had made them so effective in previous conflicts and as the timer ran down Shepard renewed her efforts, forcing the husks back with bullet and blade.

A few more minutes was all it took to feel the vibration from the explosion ripple through the hangar. A hush of expectation fell across the allied forces waiting but after a brief beat of confusion the enemies surged forward again.

"What the hell just happened?" Shepard demanded.

Before any of her team could reply she heard a crackling static come over the comms.

"Shep…do….read?" Joker's broken words filtered through.

"Joker, this is Shepard do you copy?"

"Finally!" The relief was evident in the pilot's voice. "Shepard, we couldn't reach you on the comms but EDI said that whatever was blocking the signal just disappeared."

"Yeah, we just blew up the transmitter but it didn't stop the Reaper forces."

"Yeah we saw a hell of a lot of them headed your way. Kaidan's got the crew on the ground trying to take some of the pressure off you." There was a pause. "Hold on, EDI's trying to patch them in."

The sense of relief was almost enough to bring her to her knees as his voice came through her earpiece. "Shepard?" The urgency in his voice was unmistakable but for the moment she had to force her personal feelings aside while so many lives were still at stake.

"We're alright but we've got over two dozen human and Turian soldiers that were being held captive by Cerberus and they're in no shape to fight."

"Is there another way out?"

"Negative. Cerberus blew up the other exit trying to stop us."

There was a pregnant pause over the comms before she heard James laugh. "Daaamn Lola, do you ever do anything without having it blow up?"

"It's worked so far." She shot back as she ducked out of cover and sent more bullets slamming into an approaching brute.

EDI's modulated voice spoke up. "Shepard, I presume that the detonation that restored your comms was aimed at destroying the signal controlling the Reaper troops across Palaven."

"The signal was coming from that transmitter." Kasumi insisted.

"You are correct Ms. Goto, however there was a backup transmitter in another part of the installation set to come online should the signal fail."

Samara's biotics flared as she threw another wave of husks back. "Shepard, we are running out of time."

"EDI can you give me the location of the second transmitter?" Miranda's voice held an edge that caught Shepard's attention.

"What are you thinking?"

"I worked for Cerberus and my father created the technology to do this. We're pinned down but if you can give me an opening I can shut off the signal."

Staring at the other woman Shepard frowned. "Are you sure about this Miranda?"

"I need to help make it right Commander."

Decision made Shepard nodded. "Ok we need to push them back long enough for Miranda to take the signal down."

"Shepard we can't hold them off for much longer." Grunt shouted as he slammed the butt of his gun into the skull of a marauder.

"We're almost at your location." Garrus spoke as new gunfire erupted to their left.

The distraction worked and Shepard threw herself out of cover. "Miranda go!" she ordered as she fired a volley into the creatures, giving the other woman time to retreat back into the base. On either side of her the others used whatever weapons they had at their disposal to hold their position. A few more shots and her assault rifle was out of ammo. Tossing it to the side she drew her pistol as a brute roared and slammed its chest in rage.

Swearing under her breath she aimed for the head and unloaded the clip into it as biotics flared and exploded around her. Her mind focussed like a razor as the brute lowered its bulk ready to charge. The fighting around her dimmed as she holstered her pistol, tensing for the attack. It straightened with almost frightening speed, hurling its huge frame towards her. Part of her mind registered the voices screaming her name but she ignored them as it charged, waiting until the last moment to jump, using the creature's extended claws as leverage to reach the head as with one smooth motion her omni-blades unsheathed and she slammed them into the brute's neck, nearly severing the head. Her momentum carried her forward over its shoulder as it crashed to the ground behind her. Curling her shoulder as she hit the ground Shepard rolled smoothly back to a crouch, drawing her pistol and firing at the husks swarming around her moments before another figure dove in front of her, throwing one hand out creating a biotic barrier around them. Her heart stuttered as she saw the familiar blue armour seconds before those whiskey coloured eyes met hers through their visors.

Time seemed to stand still for a long moment, too many emotions trying to be communicated through their gaze before he nodded and handed her his rifle. Their fingers brushed and she squeezed Kaidan's hand briefly before he refocused on his barrier, the blue of his biotics flickering across his armour. Stepping up beside him she unleashed hell on the horde attempting to overrun them. She could see her team standing side by side with her crew from the Normandy as they began to push the husks back.

"I found the transmitter!" Miranda's voice was faint through the comms. "I'm going to have to overload the system."

"Do it and get yourself out of there Miranda." Shepard ordered.

The other woman gave a half laugh. "I'll do my best Commander."

Her tone made Shepard falter. "What are you talking about?"

When there was no response she and Kaidan shared a concerned look, both aware of the guilt the ex-Cerberus operative carried about her previous employer and her father's work. They felt the faintest tremor beneath their feet and finally the Reaper forces stopped in their tracks before crumpling lifelessly to the ground.

Shepard only took a moment to register the end of the battle and scoop up her rifle from where she'd dropped it before taking off in the direction Miranda had gone, shouting an order at the AI. "Give me those coordinates EDI!"

She heard other footsteps behind her but as the comm silence continued she remained focussed on her missing teammate. Rubble choked the hallways as she put her shoulder to some of the heavier pieces, forcing them out of the way as Kaidan, James and Garrus each began helping to clear a path through the damaged base. As they approached the location of the previously hidden transmitter more debris blocked their progress while dust hung thick in the air. Using her omni-tool to scan the area Shepard could only pick up the faintest heartbeat just ahead of them. With renewed determination she threw her weight against the fallen beams, shifting them just enough to allow them through.

They found Miranda pinned unconscious under a thick slab of reinforced steel, blood tracking down from her nose and mouth. Kaidan knelt beside the fallen woman, scanning her for injuries as Shepard worked with Garrus and James to lift the heavy metal off of her.

"It's not good Shepard, she's got a lot of internal bleeding. We need to get her out of here."

Her eyes met Kaidan's. "Is Chakwas still on board the Normandy?" At his nod she knew there was only one chance to save Miranda's life. "Joker, this is Shepard do you copy?"

"Loud and clear Commander."

"Get the Normandy back here and I need Dr. Chakwas ready to treat for severe internal injuries."

"On our way."

She was gripped by a moment of indecision, knowing that moving Miranda and carrying her out would likely worsen the bleeding but aware that they didn't have the time to try to treat her in an unstable location where the roof could collapse on them at any moment. Refusing James's offer of help she positioned Miranda across her shoulders, holding her as tightly as she dared. As they re-entered the hangar she could see the Normandy descending, the shuttle bay door open and Karin Chakwas waiting with a stretcher.

"Shame to see each other again under these circumstances but it's good to see you in one piece Commander." Chakwas reached out to help as Shepard tried to lay the other woman down as gently as she could. Looking at Liara she gestured to the Normandy. "Help me get her to the med bay."

"Of course Doctor."

Shepard watched as the elevator doors slid shut behind them, knowing there was nothing she could do. Frustrated by the feeling of helplessness she turned away only to find Kaidan standing a few feet away from her. In that moment everything else faded away and all that mattered was the fact that he was there, no longer a vision of a tired mind but alive and well in front of her.

Even as she heard him speak her name she was moving, sliding her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly despite the layers of armour between them. His arms came around her without hesitation, the slight hitch in his breath the only indication of the torrent of emotions running through him as he held her firmly against him.

"I thought I'd lost you again." The pain in those words made her heart stutter.

"I promised I'd be waiting for you. What took you so long to show up?" With her helmet on he couldn't see her smile but he heard it over the emotion in her voice.

Huffing out a small laugh he tightened his arms around her. "Did everything in my power to get back to you." For the first time since they'd left her behind on the Citadel it felt as if the bands around his heart eased having her in his arms and knowing she still loved him.

Too aware that this wasn't the time or the place she reluctantly stepped back from the comforting circle of his arms and forced her emotions down, seeing the recognition in his eyes as the mask of the Commander slipped back over her features as she took in the situation around them.

"I can't believe you're all here." She shook her head in amazement as her friends stepped up to embrace her.

Even the ever gruff Javik shook her hand. "It is good to see you are unharmed Commander."

"What happened?" she asked, eyeing up the damage to the Normandy.

Garrus snorted. "Now that is a long story. For now let's just say that it's been an interesting few months without you around."

"Alright we can discuss it later. Right now I have a group of soldiers that need to get back to Allied Command."

"What are they doing out here? From what information we received the front lines are miles from here." Kaidan cast a concerned look towards the hangar where the men still waited in the control room.

"Cerberus was experimenting on our soldiers, turning them into husks." The thread of anger in her voice betrayed her feelings. "What we saw…..what they put those men through, it was worse than Sanctuary."

"Kee'lah." Tali breathed in horror.

"We need to get them out of here but they were stripped of their armour. The Turians should be fine but our Alliance soldiers can't tolerate Palaven's radiation without it, especially in their current state."

Samara nodded thoughtfully. "There may be an easy solution for that."

"What did you have in mind?"

"With the Major's help I can create a barrier similar to the one we used to protect ourselves from the swarm in the Collector base. That would protect them until we can get them aboard the ship."

"Let's do it." Leading the way back to the control room she found human and Turian eyes staring at her in awe. Inexplicably annoyed by it she turned her attention to where Barnes waited for her orders. "Sergeant, how are you all holding up?"

"We'll be fine ma'am.

"Major Alenko and Justicar Samara will put up a barrier to protect you from the radiation until you are on board the Normandy. You'll then be taken back to Allied Command to receive medical attention and be reunited with your units."

"Aye aye, thank you ma'am."

With Kaidan and Samara working together they were able to bring the entire group onto the Normandy. The crew was quick to see to their comfort, bringing food, water and medi-gel to do what they could to help while Dr. Chakwas focussed on saving Miranda. It was clear the crew was relieved to see Shepard alive and back on the ship but aside from politely returning their greetings she watched the proceedings with a critical eye.

"Commander, shall I set a course for Allied Command?" Joker asked once the men were settled.

"Not yet, there's still something I have to take care of."

Surprised her team turned to look at her in confusion until understanding dawned on Samara's face. "You wish to bring them home."

"They shouldn't be left behind."

"Who are you talking about Shepard?" Kaidan frowned, trying to remember if they'd missed anyone in the hangar.

"Good men died back there and with the damage the explosions caused there's no way of knowing whether the structure will hold long enough for a team to come back and recover them." Shepard repeated, the bleakness in her eyes shocking him to the core as she met his gaze. "No one gets left behind. Their families deserve more than an empty coffin."

_Like you had to suffer through when the Alliance declared me dead._ Were the words she left unspoken, knowing that Kaidan would forever be haunted by the memories of those two years he thought she was gone forever.

After a long moment he nodded. "Let's bring them home."

With few words they worked at clearing and widening the path back to the labs. The team from the Normandy weren't prepared for the sight that greeted them as Shepard and Samara began laying out the body bags they had brought from the ship. As gently as they could they began transferring the bodies from the cold metal slabs they'd died on to impersonal bags that would help bring them home. It was slow going as they carried each man back to the hangar and laid them in the Normandy's shuttle bay.

She left Corporal Patricks until last. Did he have family waiting for him back on Earth or one of the colonies? A sweetheart waiting for a vid or an e-mail that would never come? This war had taken too many lives, had destroyed too much innocence and yet here she still stood, a soldier with too much blood on her hands being called a hero. She might not be able to change the fate of these poor men but she was going to make damned sure Cerberus never had the opportunity to continue their horrific experiments. With a heavy heart she brought the Corporal's body back to the Normandy and laid it beside the others, signalling for Joker to take them back to the base.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Shepard almost couldn't believe that she was finally back with her crew. Even sporting obvious damage the Normandy was still _her _ship and the closest thing to a home she had. Her eyes sought out each crew member, reassuring herself that they were there, her eyes lingering on Kaidan as he dealt with the soldiers on the crew deck. Her heart ached to take him to one side, to reconnect, to just _be_ with him without having to be the Commander everyone else expected and needed her to be. Glancing across at the covered windows of the med bay where the doctor was doing everything she could to save Miranda's life. Knowing there was nothing she could do to help was frustrating but she knew that if anyone could perform a miracle it was Dr. Chakwas.

Turning on her heel she made her way back down to the hangar deck, needing some time to centre herself in the familiarity of taking care of her equipment. After placing each of her weapons on the bench she reached up to unhook her helmet, breathing a sigh of relief to finally have it off. Stowing it in her locker she braced her hands on the edge of the bench as her head fell forward, her shoulders sagging in the empty hangar as the events of the day bore down on her. Lost in her thoughts Shepard dimly heard the doors of the elevator opening, only turning at the sound of approaching boots. Looking up she found Kaidan making his way across the deck towards her, his dark hair carelessly ruffled from having dragged his hand through it. His name fell from her lips but the rest died in her throat as the look in his eyes caught her. Without a word he tossed his helmet onto the bench and cupped her face in his hands, pulling her towards him and claiming her lips with his in a searing kiss. Suddenly nerveless fingers reached up to grasp the edges of his chest plate, pulling him closer as all of the longing for him welled up from where she'd hidden it away. Sliding his hands down he wrapped his arms around her, needing her as close as their armour would allow. In that moment all of the pain and fear that had torn at her when she'd thought he was gone disappeared and she felt whole again for the first time since the ground battle in London.

Pulling back his breath shuddered out as his gaze roamed her features, reassuring himself that she was ok. "I swear you were trying to give me a heart attack taking on a brute like that."

"I knew you had my back." Her grin wavered and for a moment she looked incredibly vulnerable. "I missed you so much. Once the fighting here was over I was coming to find you."

"Thinking you were back on Earth waiting for me was the only thing that kept me going. Nothing was going to stop me from getting back to you."

A thought occurred to her. "I guess this means that my deal with Aria is off." She mused.

"You made another deal with Aria?" Kaidan looked taken aback. "I expected her to be back on Omega by now."

"Apparently she wants my help taking it back from Cerberus. In return she was going to use the ships at her command to try and find the Normandy."

With an earnest expression he stroked a hand over her hair as he bent his head to kiss her again softly. "Maybe we can avoid that battle then. There's a lot we need to figure out."

"Oh?" Cocking an eyebrow at the statement Shepard bit back a curse as Joker came over the comms.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt Commander."

"What's up Joker?" Shepard asked in a long suffering tone, reluctantly stepping away from Kaidan.

"Just thought you'd want to know that we're coming into Allied Command and it seems there's quite a reception waiting for you."

"Alright thanks Joker, get us on the ground."

"Aye aye ma'am."

Rubbing a hand across the back of his neck Kaidan sighed. "You know one day Joker isn't going to interrupt us when we have a rare moment to ourselves."

Shepard grinned wickedly. "I don't remember him interrupting us the last time we were in my cabin."

The look he gave her caused a shiver of pleasure to sweep through her body. "We'll have to revisit that later Shepard."

"Whatever you say Major."

Feeling lighter on her feet she secured her weapons in their locker, grabbing her helmet as she felt the Normandy descend and slow, the possibilities of the future glittering in front of her like a beacon of hope.


	20. Chapter 20

The jubilant mood was clear from the moment they arrived at Alliance Command and opened the hangar bay door. The arrival of the Normandy had drawn a lot of attention and on seeing Shepard stepping forward onto the ramp the Alliance soldiers hurried forward to assist the crew.

"Show these men the care they weren't given in their last moments." She instructed them as the first body bag was lifted. "Joker, once we're unloaded take the Normandy and link up with the fleet."

"Aye aye ma'am."

A cheer went up from the allied soldiers as her boots hit the ground and they surged forward to shake her hand and offer congratulations, others calling her name as she made her way towards the operations centre. Stepping through the doorway the Alliance operators stood to attention and saluted as Wrex barrelled through the far door with a pleased shout.

"Shepard!" He grasped her shoulders firmly, grinning broadly before he released her and smacked a beefy hand across her back, leading her into the war room. "Damn if it isn't good to see you back here. Looks like you managed to do the impossible again."

"Indeed you did Commander." Primarch Victus agreed as he joined them. "I hear you also managed to successfully rescue some of my men."

"Yes sir, Garrus is taking them to your medical facilities now. Physically they will heal but some of the things they saw…. It would be hard for anyone to come back from that."

The Turian shook his head sadly. "I apologize for not completely believing you when you said that Cerberus was behind all of this. From what I understand the things they subjected our soldiers to was brutal."

"It was but we'll make sure that they won't be able to start up that facility again."

"Glad to hear it Commander. There is no way to repay you for what you've accomplished. I can only hope that the thanks of a grateful people is enough."

"You could always make her Primarch instead of you!" Wrex roared with laughter at the Victus' stunned look.

"I'll be fine thanks Wrex." Shepard replied wryly, unable to supress her grin. "What will the Hierarchy do now Primarch?"

"The same as what your people are doing back on Earth, we start to rebuild. I have promised to assist the Krogan in returning to Tuchanka so that they may do the same."

"About time too. This will be a new age for the Krogan as we rebuild our home world. My people will stand with pride and know what it means to be a true Krogan!" He grinned. "Besides, if I stay away any longer Bakara might make all of our people reasonable and forget what it means to be a warrior."

"We can't have that." Shepard agreed with mock sincerity.

"We will have ships ready to take the Krogan home by the end of the week. I assume you will want to return to Earth with your fleet as soon as you are able?"

"As soon as they are stabilized and ready for transport I will start sending our wounded home. In the meantime I will remain here with the bulk of the fleet to provide support where you need it until the preparations for a full withdrawal are complete."

"You have my thanks, rebuilding Palaven will be no easy task but I suppose that there is no time like the present to get started."

"Then I should go and check on my men."

"Of course."

She found Barnes was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, an IV in his arm but with no obvious injuries. She waved him back down when he tried to stand at attention and she didn't miss the grateful expression on his face as he sank back down.

"Never did get a chance to thank you before Commander. We all owe you our lives."

"Just doing my job Sergeant, we leave no man behind."

"Sorry for disagreeing with you ma'am but we both know that you and your team could have moved through that base a heck of a lot faster had you left us in those cages. I'll never forget that. If you don't mind me saying, that was a great thing you did for our men who didn't make it."

"They need to go home to their families and be given the respect they deserve."

He nodded grimly. "True enough. Each of us here is proud to serve under you Commander, if you ever need anything we're here for you."

Touched by the man's sincerity she thanked him and checked on the others before the weariness began setting in. She could barely remember the last time she'd slept or eaten, her body too busy running on adrenaline and forced to carry on because there had been no other choice. Now away from the heat of battle her emotions crashed through her exhausted system, dragging at her already flagging energy. Necessity dictated a stop at her quarters to pick up the stacks of reports waiting for her. Using the opportunity she issued the order for a team to head back to the Cerberus facility and destroy it, ensuring that it could never be used again. Finally, as the celebrations got into full swing around her she opened up a link to her ship.

"Normandy this is Shepard, I need a pickup."

"On my way Commander." Cortez replied. "Do you want the rest of the team to meet you at the landing pad?"

"No it's fine, I need to report to Hackett."

"Approaching the pad now." He confirmed a few minutes later as the shuttle flew past overhead.

Climbing on board she removed her helmet as she settled into the co-pilot's chair, Cortez smiling warmly in welcome. "It's good to have you back Shepard."

"Glad to see you in one piece too Steve." She'd always had a soft spot for the shuttle pilot, admiring his skill and dedication to the job even before they'd become friends. Getting over the pain and guilt of his husband's death had been difficult for him but he'd always been there to pull their asses out of the fire. "Who's still groundside?"

"Mr. Vega went with the Major and Samara to take care of the men and Garrus had to report back to the Primarch. I'll do another pick up later."

As they passed through the upper atmosphere the orbiting ships came into view and pride swelled at the sight of the best fleet in the Alliance arrayed in formation with the Normandy gleaming before them.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Cortez said reverently.

"She certainly is." Shepard agreed, her throat tight as the memories washed over her.

When Shepard had first seen the SR-2 docked in the Cerberus base it had been like seeing a ghost. She and Joker had stood side by side staring at the new ship in disbelief, the image all the more jarring thanks to the Cerberus markings that adorned the exterior. It had been another shock on top of the many she had received since waking up under attack at the facility. Information had been thrown at her as she'd fought to survive, adrift and uncertain in the new circumstances surrounding her. Abandoned by the Alliance, cut off from her crew and presumed dead by everyone she cared about the new ship had been a touch of the familiar as she'd faced down the Collector threat. Bigger and faster than the SR-1 the Normandy had been a home and haven for her crew, bringing them safely through countless battles. Even now with damage streaking her hull there was no ship to match her.

With deft movements Cortez manoeuvred the Kodiak into the shuttle bay, setting it down gently before turning to his CO with a grin. "Welcome home Commander."

Squeezing his shoulder as she got up she smiled. "Thanks Steve, I don't think I can ever tell you how good it was to see you all today."

"The same to you Shepard, it wasn't the same without you here."

Stowing her gear in the armoury she took the lift up to the crew deck, anxious for news about Miranda. She had taken it as a good sign that she hadn't heard anything from Dr. Chakwas but as the ship had come into view the thought had crossed her mind that the doctor might not have wanted to give her bad news over the comms. The blinds were still down over the windows but the doors were no longer locked. Not wanting to accidentally contaminate a sterile room or interrupt a delicate procedure she announced herself and waited for Chakwas to give her permission to enter.

The doctor was cleaning up the med bay, tidying away supplies and removing any traces of the lifesaving surgery she'd just finished. "I knew you'd come as soon as you were able."

Miranda lay unconscious on one of the beds, the sheets tucked around her to try and minimize any movement with only her arms left uncovered, resting limply at her sides. Her dark hair lay in stark contrast to the sterile white of the linens and the pallor of her skin. Her breathing was shallow but the sensors monitoring her vitals seemed to indicate that she was stable for now.

"How's she doing doc?"

"I've done what I can for her but the damage was extensive." The effort it had taken was clearly written in the exhausted lines on her face. "We'll know in the next 24 hours whether or not she's going to pull through. It's possible she'll need more surgery and maybe a couple of implants to correct some of the damage to her organs but I'll know more once she's out of danger."

"Do you know when she'll wake up?"

Karin Chakwas sighed as she looked at her patient. "I honestly can't say. For now it's giving her body the opportunity to start healing. Beyond that we can only wait and hope for the best."

"Thank you doctor, if anyone can get Miranda through this it's you."

The other woman smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment but only time will tell whether you're right."

"I should go but you'll let me know if you need anything or there's any change?"

"Of course Commander."

Leaving the doctor to her work Shepard made her way up to the CIC, relieved to see the familiar faces at their stations.

"Commander you're back!" Samantha greeted with a beaming smile.

"Good to see you Traynor. How're you holding up?"

"It's certainly been an interesting experience. Can't say it was something that Alliance training prepared me for, but it's good to be back and flying."

Shepard snorted. "Yeah I haven't heard all of the details yet. I think Garrus and the others are waiting until we can all sit down and they can tell me the whole story."

A shadow flickered across Traynor's features. "You know we wouldn't have made it without Major Alenko even though I know he still feels guilty about Diana."

"From the little I've heard there was nothing any of you could have done, Kaidan included." Shepard reassured her. "We lost a lot of good people but we will remember them, honour their sacrifice and do the best we can for the future."

"You're right, though I suppose it will take a long time for things to get back to how they were."

"The destruction is temporary and with the fighting behind us we can focus on rebuilding. Now I have to go and report in with Hackett and let him know that this war is finally over."

"Yes ma'am." Traynor nodded before grinning mischieviously. "Oh and Commander, you have new messages at your private terminal."

Shepard laughed as she made her way to the comms room. "Later Traynor."

The soldiers on either side of the security scanner snapped to attention in surprise as she came in, momentarily flustered before saluting. She could almost hear them sag in relief behind her as she kept walking. The refit hadn't been completed when the Normandy had made its quick escape from Earth but now even more cables hung down from the ceiling and lay coiled across the floor. Either this part of the ship has seen some damage or the crew had salvaged some of the wiring and less essential parts to repair other areas. She would have to remember to ask EDI for an assessment of all of the Normandy's systems later. At least it looked like the comm terminals and vid link systems were intact. It only took a few moments to set up the link with Alliance Command on Earth. The image flickered briefly before solidifying into the form of Admiral Hackett.

"There you are Commander, I see you managed to reunite with your ship."

"Yes sir, I appreciate you giving them permission to join the fleet."

Hackett laughed. "You don't seriously think I was going to be able to stop them from trying to find you?"

Shepard grinned wryly. "I suppose not Sir."

"We've been receiving reports from the base on Palaven. Is it true that you managed to take down the transmitter controlling the Reaper ground troops?"

"Both transmitters were taken out but one of my team was critically wounded during the mission."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Linking his hands behind his back Hackett frowned. "There are some concerning rumours about what you found down there."

"Cerberus were operating on our men, implanting them with Reaper tech and turning them into husks to throw back at us."

The Admiral looked sickened. "I suppose that it's safe to assume you've put a stop to that?"

"Yes sir, the bodies have been recovered and I've ordered a team to destroy the rest of the facility."

"Good work Commander, their families will be grateful. Have you managed to uncover anything that would give us an idea as to who is running Cerberus right now?"

"My team managed to recover some data from the base but the majority of the systems were wiped before we got there. Kasumi and EDI should be analysing it now."

"Alright Shepard I'll be waiting for your report and I imagine there will be a lot to discuss when you get back to Earth. Hackett out."

The vid link blinked out, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She wasn't sure how long she stood there before someone cleared their throat behind her, the steps shuffling as they came closer.

"Uh, Commander?"

Turning she was surprised to see Joker standing in the doorway, his expression uncertain. "Hey Joker, what's up?"

"Well I thought that we should probably get the part where you yell at me out of the way, you know to not spoil the whole reunion mood."

She frowned in confusion. "Why would I yell at you? Something I should know about?"

"Jeff is concerned," EDI began but Joker quickly interrupted her.

"It's ok, I've got it EDI." Joker straightened despite the obvious discomfort it caused. "Look you have every right to be pissed at me for taking your ship. We abandoned you on the Citadel when you needed us."

_Ah so that's what this is about. _She realized, those words giving away more about his thoughts than he probably realized.

"Joker, you left because you were obeying the orders of a superior officer." She gave him a wry look. "Not even I could have countermanded Hackett."

Joker snorted. "Yeah well I don't know about that, I think even Hackett's a little scared of you. Still it wasn't right to leave you behind like that."

"Unless you guys had some plan that I wasn't aware of there's nothing you could have done to help me. Hell, I still don't even know exactly where on the Citadel I ended up. You had to save the Council and get out of there and you managed it because you're the best damned pilot in the Alliance."

"All that means is that we could have gotten you out of there." He insisted stubbornly.

Crossing her arms over her chest she rocked back on her heel and gave him a hard look. "You want the truth Joker? Where I was standing I got to watch the Reapers slowly decimate our fleet, I took the only option I thought I had and then almost got blown up in the process. By the time the Crucible was armed I was unconscious so it doesn't matter how good of a pilot you are, there's no way you could have gotten a team to extract me in time to avoid being hit by the explosion."

Stunned the pilot blinked at her. "Damn, I didn't realize it was that bad."

"You saved the Council and got our guys out of there and then managed to get them home safely with a damaged ship. Stop feeling guilty about the things you can't change." She kept her gaze steady on his, hoping he understood everything she was trying to tell him. It was clear he still felt guilty about her death after the destruction of the SR-1 but it was time for him to let it go.

He finally nodded. "Ok Commander and thanks."

"Anytime Joker."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah well maybe next time we can have a nice easy mission for a change."

"Like a regular delivery run?" she teased.

"I don't think we'll ever be that lucky. Anyway, I'd better get back to the bridge, would hate for you to realize that EDI can fly this ship almost as well as I can. See ya Commander." Turning he walked carefully back the way he came, probably not convinced by her words but swayed enough to let it go for now.

Leaning back against the vid console Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose tiredly. She felt for Joker, understanding only too well how the guilt could eat at you. It was thanks to his grim determination that he had managed to become the Alliance's top pilot in spite of his disabilities. He could make the Normandy dance and she knew that this ship meant more to him than anyone else on board. Joker would probably never truly forgive himself for the loss of the SR-1. Had it only been the ship that had been lost to the Collectors he may have been able to move past it, but knowing that his actions had led to her death weighed heavily on him despite her assurances that it hadn't been his fault.

In the solitude it finally began to truly dawn on her that the war was over. Through immense sacrifices and a healthy dose of pure dumb luck they'd managed defeat the Reapers and live to tell about it. Some of the tension she hadn't even known she'd been carrying lifted from her shoulders. They were free from the threat of annihilation and while she was realistic enough to know that the peace wouldn't last forever, for now it linked the races together as they looked to the future.

_We actually did it. _Her mind struggled to wrap itself around the implications of those words. She'd been fighting for so long that the thought that it was finally over was almost beyond belief. _So what happens now?_

Shaking her head she knew that there was still a lot for her to do before she could finally say that the war was over for her. As long as Cerberus still posed a threat to the races of the galaxy she couldn't walk away, the men and women who had lost their lives to them deserved better.

EDI broke the silence. "Shepard, the crew is requesting your presence in the mess."

"Are the rest of the team back from Palaven?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Cortez has just completed the pickup."

"Thanks EDI, I'll be right there."


	21. Chapter 21

Shepard was more solemn than Kaidan had ever seen her during the crew meal in the mess. Even after the mission on Thessia she hadn't seemed so remote, so untouchable to him. She'd listened attentively to the stories of their crash landing on Proteus, how they'd managed to repair the Normandy and return home but she'd been quiet, the once easy smiles coming more rarely even surrounded by her closest friends. Sitting beside her he'd wanted to reach for her, to ease the haunted look in her eyes but with the entire crew there he'd had to restrain himself. Their relationship might be an open secret but this was still an Alliance vessel and she was acting head of the Fifth Fleet, something he couldn't fail to bear in mind as the updated reports and requests frequently chimed their arrival on her omni-tool. At least she'd finally removed her armour and changed into her BDUs.

When the conversation had inevitably turned to the events on the Citadel he'd watched her withdraw, managing to evade the more pointed questions with the deft skill he'd seen her use so many times in the past. The crew had listened in horror as she'd described the situation on the station and the likelihood that it was being used to create another Human Reaper. The possibilities were too horrifying to imagine. In a matter-of-fact tone she told them about the final confrontation with the Illusive Man and the moments leading up to Anderson's death. As far as Kaidan was concerned allowing the head of Cerberus to commit suicide was a mercy he wasn't sure he could have given in her place, though as she had been powerless to stop him from shooting Anderson it was unlikely she could have stopped him from taking his own life. Shepard had carefully avoided giving many details about the VI she'd encountered as she'd attempted to arm the Crucible. While the crew seemed to accept the few details she shared he knew her well enough to know the reality lay hidden in the words she didn't say. When she'd visibly relaxed as the discussion turned to the events on Earth, he was left with the uncomfortable feeling that what she had been faced with had almost broken her. It had shaken him to hear just how close he had come to losing her again as he'd listened to her play down the severity of her injuries.

It seemed that new mercenary groups had wasted no time in claiming large areas and that it had taken a ruthless ground battle on behalf of the Alliance to regain control. No one had been surprised that Shepard had been put in charge of the fight to reclaim Vancouver and while she had glossed over the events they all knew it wouldn't have been easy fighting on the ground there. A wistful look had crossed her face as she'd told them about Miranda's ferocious protection of the young girl and how the girl had latched onto the ex-operative whenever she had been in the refugee camps. Kaidan and James had both been keen to hear any news of their families since it was hard to get hold of any information about their loved ones with the comm relay still so badly damaged in many areas. She'd simply given that half-smile he loved so much and reassured them that his parents and James's uncle had survived and were waiting for them to return.

He'd always promised himself that if they survived the war he was going to show her that view of English Bay from his parents' place he'd always told her about. Now he might finally have the chance, assuming their place was still standing. What would his parents think of Shepard? Their relationship had still been relatively new when she'd gone down with the SR-1 but his parents had seen how her death had almost destroyed him. He'd had dreams of what their future would have been like but with her gone those had turned to ash. When he'd finally been reunited with her it had taken them a long time with plenty of mistakes along the way before they'd finally gotten things sorted out between them. By that point they were too focussed on their mission to worry about what came after, both aware how slim the chance was that they would survive. He smiled despite himself as he gazed around the mess to the friends who'd stood beside them when it had mattered most. Only Shepard could have gotten them all through this so that they would live to see the galaxy free of the Reaper threat.

James came back to the table with fresh drinks, bringing Kaidan's attention back to the conversation. "In case you didn't hear the boys at Allied Command are already talking about how you took on that brute with nothing but your omni-blades."

"Hell yeah I did." The corner of Shepard's mouth kicked up wryly as she glanced at Kaidan, clearly remembering his words in the shuttle bay.

"Sure, because that's not an image that's going to stick with me." He muttered, shaking his head.

"You really are some kind of crazy Lola!" James laughed, slapping a hand on the table.

Garrus snorted. "Uh huh, says the guy who crashed the shuttle on Mars."

The big marine shrugged as he took a swig of his drink. "At least I didn't get a rocket to the face."

"Well it didn't seem fair to have such an advantage compared to you." Garrus shot back with a grin.

Chortling James clinked his glass against the Turian's as the others shook their heads, rolling their eyes at the pair. As she watched the banter between them a ghost of a smile flickered over her features. She was trying to hide it but Kaidan could see the weariness in every line of her body. But this was Shepard and she kept going because the crew had needed that time to reconnect with her. It was much later and after far too much alcohol for some that the crew eventually wandered off to find their bunks. He'd gotten caught up talking to Joker and when he'd turned to look for her she'd disappeared. Knowing his Shepard she hadn't been hard to find. Pausing just inside the med bay door he sighed as he saw her sitting beside Miranda's comatose form, arms resting on her knees as she kept vigil.

He saw her jump slightly as he spoke and he frowned, knowing how tired she had to be to not have heard his approach. "How's she doing?"

"The doc says the readings are good." Rubbing a hand over her face she laughed humourlessly. "Don't ask me what that means though."

"She'll be alright, Dr. Chakwas is the best at what she does."

"I owe Miranda so much." The admission was quiet but powerful in its simplicity.

When he'd rejoined the Normandy after the attempted coup on the Citadel she'd told him about the ex-Cerberus operative. The few times he'd met her, Miranda had seemed aloof and arrogant until she saw Shepard and that mask had faded, revealing the woman who had followed Shepard on a suicide mission, knowing that the odds were against them. The closeness between the two women was obvious from the way Miranda had made it crystal clear that her loyalty was to Shepard, not the Alliance and Shepard's unwavering trust in her. After their mission on Sanctuary he'd asked her why she hadn't tried to stop Miranda from shooting her father. The thought of Henry Lawson had made her lip curl in disgust as she'd told him about the legacy he'd been trying to ensure, first by using Miranda and then Oriana. While she hadn't necessarily agreed with Miranda's actions she knew it had been the only way to ensure that Miranda and her sister could live in peace without the threat of their father hanging over them.

"I can't let her die now Kaidan. She gave me back my life when everyone else had given up on me and said it was impossible." Looking up her eyes met his as she reached out to twine her fingers with his. "She gave me the chance to be with you again."

"Then I guess I owe her a lot too." Keeping a hold of her hand he stepped back slightly so he could pull her to her feet. "Come on, you're exhausted and carrying all of this on your shoulders is just going to drive you crazy. Dr. Chakwas will let you know if anything changes here."

"I still need to finish my report for Hackett." She protested even as she allowed him to lead her from the med bay.

"It can wait, you're dead on your feet." Kaidan smiled when she didn't take her hand out of his. It was such a small thing, holding the hand of the woman you loved but with both of them being Alliance soldiers first it wasn't something they had had the opportunity for with the galaxy in the balance. It was only as she was opening the door that he realized he hadn't spoken to her about him having taken up residence in her quarters.

Shepard had taken a few steps when she stopped in her tracks and slowly scanned the room. Cocking her eyebrow at him she gave him a bemused look. "Something you want to tell me about Major?"

Flustered he found himself momentarily speechless. "Well, uh, you see with the Council on board we had to make room." At her look he finally just shrugged. "It just didn't feel right letting one of the Councillors take over your space. Hell, I needed whatever small part of you I could get until I saw you again. Sorry if I was out of line."

The smile she gave him was dazzling, the kind she only ever gave to him and the first genuine one he'd seen from her since they'd been reunited. "I love you Kaidan." She said simply as she closed the distance between him and pressed her lips to his.

And just like that her barriers were down and it was his Shepard standing before him, beaten and bruised from the weight of responsibility that had lain on her shoulders but real. "I missed you." He whispered as he gathered her close, his arms tight around her now that they didn't have the barrier of their armour between them.

He felt her fingers slip under his shirt before running her palms over his back as if reassuring herself it was really him, warm and whole in her arms. Her touch sent shivers through him, those strong capable fingers delicately tracing patterns over his skin. He wanted to lose himself in her, to banish the memories of those lonely nights apart from her but his mind kept circling to the conversation in the mess. He knew he risked pushing her away but he needed to know, needed to hear what had happened to put those shadows in her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about what happened on the Citadel?"

Pulling back in surprise he watched her gaze became shuttered. "Honestly? No, I really don't. I think I'm going to have nightmares about it for the rest of my life as it is."

"Sometimes talking these things through can help." He offered, choosing his words carefully.

Anguish flickered across her features, almost too quickly for him to see had he not been so close to her. "I watched a friend die up there. I think I need to find peace with myself first before I can talk to you about it."

"Don't blame yourself for Anderson's death, there was nothing you could have done to avoid that."

A broken laugh fell from her lips as she wrapped her arms around her middle. "I don't know anymore. Maybe if I'd gotten to the beam sooner, if I had stopped the Illusive Man things might have been different."

"The Illusive Man was too far under Reaper control, you were never going to break their hold."

"I did." It was said so softly that it took him a moment to understand what she'd said. At his questioning look she explained. "In those last few minutes he argued with me, trying to convince me that what he was doing was the best for humanity."

Kaidan snorted. "Yeah we've heard him use that argument to explain away a lot of what we've seen done by Cerberus."

"I know and I didn't buy it then any more than I did the times he'd said it before. But in that last moment he remembered himself, he managed to break free of their hold." She sighed. "It was like watching Saren all over again. He knew it was too late, that all of his plans had been twisted and warped until he had done exactly what they wanted him to do."

"Don't tell me you feel sorry for him." The look he gave her was incredulous.

"He was an idealist who convinced himself that everything he did was for the good of humanity. He let himself been taken in and ended up betraying everything he stood for and humanity in the process. No, I don't feel sorry for him but I do pity what he became." Taking a few steps she picked up one of the datapads that lay discarded on the small coffee table, gazing at it blindly for a moment before tossing it back down, forcing the words out. "I guess I wonder whether that ever could have been me."

"What? How could you ever think that?"

Her eyes were earnest as she turned back to him. "How many decisions have I made over the years that decided the fate of a people? Every time I've made a choice it has always been because I thought it was the right thing to do. What if I was wrong?"

Closing the gap between them he reached up and stroked a thumb gently over her cheek. "That is exactly why you could never be like the Illusive Man. He didn't care about the galaxy, he was only interested in his own agenda and what he thought was right. The races of the galaxy put their future in your hands because we all believed that you were the only one who could save us. You made choices that would have broken others and you always did what you thought was right. No one could have asked for anything more."

He felt a small thrill of victory as she smiled despite herself, shoulders sagging as she stepped into the circle of his arms again. "You're good for me Kaidan."

"Yeah well I haven't exactly given you the easiest time with it over the years." He admitted as he brushed his lips over her hair.

Wrapping her arms around his waist he felt the tension slowly start to drain from her body. "We've been through a lot together, not all of it easy."

"Maybe not but I'm glad that after everything I still get to be standing here with you." Tipping her face up he kissed her. Maybe she wasn't prepared to tell him everything yet but she would when she was ready and he couldn't ask for more than that.


	22. Chapter 22

_Voices whispered through her mind, their tendrils dragging across her subconscious. Opening her eyes she found herself in a familiar landscape surrounded by the shadowed trees with the twisting paths that led into the mist curling at the edges of her vision as ghostly figures drifted around her. Walking forward slowly her eyes sought out the lone figure of the child that she had always seen so clearly in the past, haunting her with her failures. This time there was no flash of light grey amongst the darkness that had always drawn her eyes away from the shadows. Unlike before the half formed figures seemed to acknowledge her presence as they moved towards her, seemingly no longer content to remain mere shadows drifting through a subconscious purgatory._

"_Shepard."_

"_It seems years since I've just sat down."_

"_That won't happen, go get them Commander. I'll see you all when you get back." She felt the pain in her heart as Ashley's voice echoed around her, the dark wisps shifting, taunting her with those she had lost._

"_Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true and my feet swift."_

"_Someone else might have gotten it wrong."_

"_Screw that, I can hold them off. Go back and get Alenko, you know it's the right choice LT."_

"_Shepard Commander, does this unit have a soul?"_

"_Whatever you come up with, you can count me in." _

"_Ah excellent timing Shepard."_

"_And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness."_

_Saren's voice filtered through the rest. "It's too late for me." _

"_I'm proud of you."_

"_The choice is yours." The VI's taunting voice echoed in the dream._

_One of the wisps turned to face her, solidifying as a pair of brown eyes opened, staring at her as they began slowly turning blue. "Kill me Shepard."_

_Her mind recoiled from the image as the haunted face shifted into the smirking visage of the Illusive Man. "Once again you fail to recognize the truth."_

"_No!" she cried out, thrusting the image away from her as she fought her way out of the dream, images from the beacon bombarding her as she struggled. _

"_You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding." The voices grew louder as they swirled around her, the figures coming closer, pressing in, smothering her. She cried out soundlessly as the voices became a raging cacophony in her mind and blackness enveloped her._

Jerking awake from the nightmare she bolted upright, swinging her legs out of bed before grasping her head in her hands as she tried to calm her breathing and banish the remnants of the fog from her mind. Beside her Kaidan shifted restlessly in his sleep, disturbed by her movements. Moving quietly so as not to wake him she padded over to where her clothes lay on the chair. Pulling on a shirt and trousers she perched on the edge of the couch scrubbing her hands over her face in annoyance. She'd hoped that the dreams would have ended after the war and for a while they had been coming less often but tonight even her exhaustion had not been enough to hold it at bay. A glance at the clock made her wince, she and Kaidan had only fallen asleep in each other's arms a couple of hours ago. Her annoyance faded as she gazed as his sleeping form. After everything they'd been through he probably needed the rest as much as she did and while she wanted nothing more than to curl up beside him she knew that her mind would not let her go back to sleep. Grabbing her boots she slipped up the steps and out to the elevator, dragging them on as she hit the button for the hangar deck.

Everything was quiet as the doors slid open. Apart from the skeleton crew manning the CIC and flight deck everyone else was catching some much needed rest. Making a slow tour of the hangar she made a mental note of all of the damage she saw, from the obvious holes in the hull to the smaller scrapes and mechanical issues that required repairs. It seemed the Normandy had certainly proven her worth as Shepard ran a fond hand over an intact section of the hull. A few steps took her across to the armoury and her locker. Pulling out her weapons she laid them neatly on the bench, breaking them down with skill honed by years of experience. She still owed Hackett a report but it would risk waking Kaidan and in truth she wanted the comfort of doing the simple ingrained tasks she had already put off for too long. Shaking her head ruefully she was pleased her drill sergeant wasn't here to see the state of her equipment, he would have certainly made his displeasure known. Regardless what people called her, she was still a soldier first and foremost and her life depended on her equipment. Once her weapons were cleaned and reassembled she moved onto her armour which is how Garrus found her a short time later. His mandibles flared as he shook his head with a grin.

"How come I knew I'd find you down here?"

"Hey Garrus, thought you'd be sleeping." She kept her tone light, not wanting to discuss what had driven her from her bed.

Leaning back against the lockers he watched her work, giving a half-hearted shrug. "Couldn't sleep either I guess."

"Something bothering you?"

"No nothing in particular really. It's just hard to believe it's all over. After all these years I guess I never thought we'd actually live to see the end of it."

She snorted. "You and me both."

"We almost didn't." He gave a low chuckle. "We've been through some crazy stuff together. I still remember when we met. You were there to meet the Council and I was busy arguing with the Executor. It probably wasn't the best introduction."

"He should have listened to you."

"Yeah well we know that now Shepard, but back then we thought we were just dealing with a rogue Spectre."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Do you think we would have managed to do what we did if we'd known what we were facing?"

The Turian threw back his head and laughed. "You mean would we have rushed headlong into certain death time and again knowing we were facing the Reapers? Hell I don't know, we might just have all holed up in that house of yours on Intai'Sei."

Her hands stilled in their repairs as her expression grew thoughtful. "I guess that place is destroyed now. The Reapers hit that system hard when they took out Pinnacle Station."

"Is there anywhere they didn't hit hard?" He asked pointedly.

She sighed in acknowledgement. "You're right. I guess we should be grateful with how much was still left standing."

"There would have been nothing left but ruins if it wasn't for you. We all owe you a lot."

Exhaling sharply she frowned. "You know I'm getting tired of hearing that."

Chuckling he shook his head. "Only you would find unending gratitude irritating."

"What good did that gratitude do us when we were trying to warn everyone about the Reapers? I didn't do this alone. Without the Normandy, you and the rest of the crew – hell everyone who fought - the Reapers would have wiped us all out."

"True and I do remember saying that we should retire and live off of the royalties from the vids once it was all over."

Shepard snorted. "Yeah I somehow don't see that happening any time soon."

"Well at least neither of us is up there waiting at the bar." He was quiet for a long moment. "I'm going to stay on Palaven when you head back to Earth."

"I thought you would." At his surprised look she shook her head. "Come on Garrus, these are your people. The Primarch needs all the good men he can get and they don't come better than you. Have you spoken to your dad yet?"

"He and my sister have managed to secure transport back to Palaven, they should be here in a few days."

"That's good to hear. We're going to miss having you around."

"Well at least you can finally claim to be the best shot on the ship." He teased, earning an eye roll. "Seriously though it's an honour to be your friend Shepard. You ever need anything, you'd better remember to call me."

"I'll remember that the next time the Alliance sends me on a suicide mission."

He barked out a laugh. "Well maybe we can both give that one a miss next time."

She grinned wryly. "I think that's what Kaidan's hoping for too."

"You know we wouldn't have made it back if it wasn't for Kaidan. He refused to give up or believe that you weren't back on Earth waiting for us." Garrus confided. "I'm not sure he could have survived any other way."

"I promised him I would be waiting."

"And you always keep your promises."

"Damn straight." She arched a brow as she finished the repairs to her armour. "So what about you and Tali?"

He cleared his throat, looking decidedly uncomfortable. "Well, uh, as I said I need to stay on Palaven for now and Tali needs to get back to the Flotilla." Seeing that Shepard was simply going to wait him out he gave in. "Once things have settled down on Palaven I'm heading out to Rannoch. She said something about having a house that needed building there."

Shepard smiled, securing her equipment in her locker before giving his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm happy for you both, you deserve it."

"What about you? Where do you go from here?"

"Honestly I don't know. Cerberus is still a threat that needs to be dealt with but I guess it depends on what the Alliance needs me to do."

"I imagine after everything you've done you've earned the right to choose what you want to do next."

She gave a half-hearted shrug. "Maybe I just don't know what that is yet."

"Well at least now you have all the time in the world to figure it out."

* * *

Two weeks passed before the fleet was ready to depart. As promised a few of the ships had already broken off and headed back to Earth carrying their wounded. With the Hong Kong still in orbit Shepard had offered the Normandy's crew the opportunity to head back without her but to a man they refused, insisting that when the Normandy re-entered the Sol System it would be with their Commander on board. Shepard felt as if she'd been on her feet the entire time trying to organize troop extractions and equipment pickups. Captain Lynton had stepped in and offered to help once it became clear that the Primarch not only wanted her help with the Turian efforts but also took up whatever spare time she had discussing the future of diplomatic relations between the Hierarchy and the Alliance. With their military strength severely depleted Victus was keen to capitalize on the current situation to establish new aid agreements before the Alliance fleet's full withdrawal from the system. It was time to put old grudges behind them and leave the scars of the First Contact War in the past. For their part the Alliance had been keen to increase their links with the Turians in the hope that it would help to increase humanity's galactic standing and influence once things returned to normal. Unfortunately for the ambassadors that were practically salivating over the possibility of being the ones to sign such an agreement the Hierarchy, under the guidance of the Primarch, had insisted on Shepard being the one to represent the Alliance. Naturally this was done under the guise of practicality since she was already on Palaven but behind closed doors the two old soldiers knew it was the only way to avoid too much politics and posturing getting embroiled in the middle. As much as she hated the politics it did give her an insight into the position she'd put Anderson in when she'd endorsed him for the seat on the Council but despite the twinge of regret she knew that it had been the right thing to do.

Stationed with the fleet Kaidan had capitalized on their resources to make some repairs to the Normandy's hull. While she'd been confident in the barrier's ability to keep the ship and crew safe she felt a sense of relief when the larger holes were patched. When she wasn't on Palaven or on board the Orizaba meeting with the Captains she worked out of the conference room on the Normandy, leaving her quarters clear for Kaidan - not that that seemed to matter when he would drag her away from her stacks of data pads and into their bed for some much needed rest. Though she might have protested on occasion she always acquiesced, forced to admit to herself that he was able to read her far better than she ever realized. Wrapped in his arms she found that the dreams came less frequently and some of the weariness that had plagued her for so long seemed to finally ease.

Down in the med bay Miranda still lay in a coma even though her wounds had started healing at a faster rate than expected thanks to her tailored genetics. Shepard had considered transferring Miranda to one of the ships heading back to Earth so that she could receive treatment at one of the hospitals there. Though after discussing the situation with Dr. Chakwas they agreed that aside from monitoring her condition there was little that another doctor could do and with their history Chakwas was probably the best person to deal with any medical situations that arose. The crew members who knew her took turns to sit beside her, talking or reading to her in the hopes that she could hear them. Shepard had managed to get a message through to Oriana who had promised to be there the moment the Normandy landed to go with her sister to the military hospital in Vancouver.

The evening before the fleet's departure Kasumi and Liara made their way to the conference room where Shepard stood hunched over the new agreements.

"Shepard, we have something you might be interested in." Liara announced.

Glancing up in surprise she straightened, pressing her knuckles into her lower back as the muscles twinged in discomfort. "Ok, what've you got?"

Kasumi pressed a few buttons on her omni-tool and brought up a number of files on the display. "I admit it's not much Shep but I think we found out who was behind the Cerberus facility." At Shepard's nod she continued. "There wasn't much left in the files but it still took a while to hack them."

"Kasumi came to ask for any information I might have on the names she uncovered but with most of my network down I'm afraid there was very little." Liara added. "We believe the man behind Cerberus's actions is General Oleg Petrovsky."

Shepard frowned, sifting through her memory to see if she could place the name only to come up blank. "I've never heard of him, do we know anything else?"

"Not really no." The Asari shook her head in disappointment. "The few reports that Glyph and I managed to uncover did make a reference to Aria however."

"Aria? Are you sure?" Rocking back on her heels a suspicion began to form in her mind.

"The reports weren't clear on the connection, merely mentioning her. Perhaps it is nothing." Liara suggested.

Kasumi snorted. "I doubt it. That woman has her hands in everything."

Frowning Shepard shook her head. "No this is starting to make too much sense. It was Cerberus that ousted Aria from Omega."

"Did she ever mention Petrovsky?"

"No, she put the blame solely on the Illusive Man though Aria has never been shy about keeping as much information to herself as possible."

"Do you suppose he is the reason she wanted you to help retake Omega?"

Giving the Asari a tight nod Shepard felt the pieces slotting into place in her mind. "I think that's exactly what she wanted."

"So what are you going to do Shep?" Even with her hood up obscuring some of her features Shepard could tell the thief was worried.

"Nothing for the moment. My responsibility is to get the fleet back to Earth tomorrow. Aria will just have to wait."

* * *

"It seems weird leaving Garrus and Grunt behind." Joker admitted as they waited for all the ships to report in.

Standing behind Joker's chair on the bridge Shepard had to agree. It had been an emotional goodbye for all of them but it had been the hardest on Tali. The small Quarian had put on a brave show but it was clear she was struggling with having to leave her lover behind. While Garrus had seemed torn about remaining on Palaven Grunt had been enthusiastic about returning home leading the remnants of Aralakh company, slapping Shepard on the back with a grin when Wrex had insisted she would have to travel to Tuchanka soon to see Bakara and their children. Even Tali had announced her return to the Flotilla once the Normandy returned to the Sol System. She supposed it was inevitable that they would all go their separate ways now that there was no common enemy to bring them together. Each of them had responsibilities to their own people but leaving behind their friends would be difficult.

So far little had been uncovered about Oleg Petrovsky. EDI and Liara's searches had turned up next to nothing which hadn't surprised Shepard considering the state of the galactic information network. Aside from the odd mention in a few Alliance files there had been no new evidence which left only Aria. She knew the situation made Kaidan uneasy. He wanted to head back to Vancouver and think about life beyond the Reapers and the war. Being an N7 marine in the Alliance had been her life, with no time for serious romantic entanglements and she had been happy with it that way. With the nomadic lifestyle provided by the Alliance it had never seemed practical and a relationship with a civilian who didn't understand military life would have been disastrous for her. Then along came Staff Lieutenant Alenko and completely threw her for a loop, slowly getting under her skin with his calm, quiet voice and hidden depths that had fascinated her. They had both understood the risks and had danced around each other for a long time until Ashley's death had brought things into stark perspective. Shepard knew that she had made the tactical choice but in her heart she admitted that she couldn't have let Kaidan die on Virmire. The years since the battle for the Citadel had been filled with obstacles and an incredibly painful separation which had pushed them both almost to breaking point but their love for one another had remained strong in spite of everything. Thrust into a war the galaxy wasn't prepared for made it clear to her that whatever thoughts she'd had about a future for them would likely always remain a pipedream they would never get to see. Now they had an opportunity to be together without the fear of being ripped apart again but she was unsure exactly what that meant. So much was uncertain in her life right now. She understood too well that she could never go back to simply being one of the marines, an officer in the Alliance Navy. She was Commander Shepard, saviour of the galaxy, Council Spectre and icon for the Alliance recruitment vids. What kind of future did that make for her?

A warm comforting hand rested briefly on her back as Kaidan stepped up beside her, those whiskey coloured eyes smiling at her. In that moment she knew it didn't matter what her role in the Alliance would be, she had a future with the wonderful man beside her. He'd been by her side through so much, supporting her and restoring her faith when it had failed her. As the fleet reported in and she gave the order to leave Palaven's orbit she knew that it wouldn't always be easy but she would do her damndest to make him happy.

_At least now you have the chance to find out what the future holds._ _Just a few things you gotta finish first._ She reminded herself as the Normandy banked and the mass relay came into view.

It was not going to be a quiet affair when the fleet arrived at the Charon relay. Hackett had already warned her that the moment the Normandy dropped out of FTL on approach to Earth she would be bombarded by the media. Camera crews had already secured passage onto any space-worthy civilian ships that could put them in position to record the triumphant return of the Fifth Fleet with Shepard at its head. The Alliance had also given them unprecedented access to the naval docking bays to greet the smaller ships and shuttles bringing the troops ashore to be reunited with loved ones. With that in mind the order had gone out for all personnel to don their dress blues for the occasion. If the Alliance was going to turn this event into a media circus then it was only fair that the other crews got their appreciation as well. Others may prefer to hold her up as the woman who single-handedly defeated the Reapers but she wasn't going to allow them to forget the brave men and women who had fought beside her.

"Anything you want to say to the fleet before we go through the relay Commander?" Joker asked her, looking rather stiff in his dress uniform.

At her nod he opened the comms to the fleet. "All ships this is Commander Shepard. As you know we are about to head through the relay and back to the Sol System. Our return will signal the official end of the Reaper War so I think they're planning one hell of a celebration for when we get there. News crews will be waiting to send the images of our arrival to all of the people waiting for us on Earth. Embrace it, enjoy it – this victory belongs to all of us! Now let's show them why the Fifth Fleet is the pride of the Alliance Navy!"

The crew grinned as they heard the cheers from the other ships feedback through their comms.

"You always did have a way with words." Kaidan chuckled as she moved back to stand beside him.

"If the Alliance wants a powerful image of victory then that's what I'm going to give them." With a wry grin she surprised him by giving his hand a quick squeeze before turning back to the pilot. "Joker, once the fleet is in formation head to the relay."

"Aye aye Commander."

"Let's go home." Kaidan said softly as he gave her a tender smile.

"The relay is in range, initiating activation sequence. Calculating transit mass and destination." Joker reported. "The relay is hot, acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit. Board is green, approach run has begun."

The pilot's fingers raced across his console as he aligned the Normandy into the approach corridor with seemingly effortless skill.

"Hitting the relay in 3….2….1."

Space seemed to blur outside the cockpit windows and the relay hurled them through space. Moments later they exited the corridor, clearing the relay as the other ships began arriving behind them. As expected the small civilian ships were waiting as the Normandy dropped out of FTL on approaching Earth with the might of the Fifth Fleet arrayed behind her. The last time the fleet had entered the Sol System they had been prepared for battle, ready to do whatever it took to save their galaxy - now they returned victorious and proud. Amongst the few Quarian vessels still stationed above the remains of Luna base Shepard recognized a familiar ship.

"Joker, hail the Tombay and let Admiral Raan know that Tali is on board and ready to re-join the Flotilla. Cortez will take her across in the shuttle."

Only half hearing the pilot's acknowledgement Shepard hurried down to the hangar with Kaidan right behind her, both knowing how anxious Tali would be as she waited to be reunited with her people. The fact that Shala'Raan had stayed behind to wait for her would mean so much to the young Quarian. Sure enough her bags were already loaded onto the shuttle and Tali was saying her goodbyes to the other crew members that had assembled on the lower deck to see her off.

"Are you ready to go home Tali?"

"Shepard I don't know what to say." The petite Quarian admitted, wringing her hands. "You gave me back my home and more than anything I want to go and help my people rebuild what was lost. But after everything that we've been through together this feels as though we're never going to see each other again. I know that's silly."

Reaching out she hugged the other woman tightly. "Of course this isn't goodbye. You promised to show me that house someday."

"It will take a while until we have the infrastructure for our people in place but with the Geth helping us I think it will be sooner than any of us ever thought possible. But when you come I will show you all of it." Her voice became wistful. "Who knows we may even be able to finally walk on our own planet without our environmental suits."

"Then go and make that dream happen Tali. No one can take it away from you."

Vega grinned at her. "Hey Sparks, make sure you remind Scars who the toughest soldier out there is when he starts braggin' again."

Tali turned to face him and Shepard could just about imagine the look on her face as she replied, "Even Garrus knows that that's Shepard, Vega."

As James's mouth worked to come up with an answer the rest of the crew burst out laughing. "She's got you there Vega." Kaidan pointed out before smiling at the Quarian. "We're going to miss you Tali."

"I'm going to miss you all too." With a nod Tali stepped up into the shuttle before pausing to look back. "Thank you Shepard, for everything."

She grinned at the woman who had stood beside her through so much. "Anytime, you take care Tali Zorah vas'Normandy."

With a last nod she stepped back and let the shuttle door close, the crew retreating to a safe distance as Cortez powered up the Kodiak's thrusters and guided it out through the barriers and towards the Tombay. Once they were out of sight Shepard boarded the elevator to head back up to the CIC for the final approach to Earth. Standing beside her Kaidan waited until the doors closed before turning to her.

"Are you doing ok?"

She gave a small smile. "It's hard to say goodbye and see everyone go their separate ways."

"Not everyone, I'm still here." He reminded her softly.

Slipping an arm around her waist Kaidan pulled her closer against him, lowering his head until his lips hovered over hers. Tilting her head as her eyes fluttered closed she arched into his touch, closing the distance between them to kiss him. "I love you." He whispered as the lift signalled its arrival and they reluctantly moved away from one another.

Making their way back to the flight deck she caught the tail end of Joker's conversation with the Tombay bidding the Normandy goodbye as Cortez headed back to dock the shuttle back in the hangar. At Shepard's nod Joker engaged the thrusters and turned the ship back towards home. The wreckage of the Citadel still hung motionless above Earth, small pieces of debris still trapped in its orbit. The damage was immense and only parts of the massive arms were still intact, large sections having sheared off during the explosion. At the sight Shepard felt a chill creep up her spine. She knew it was likely that repairs on the giant space station would begin soon but whether she would ever feel truly comfortable stepping foot on board it would be another matter entirely. From the position the Crucible had been in she knew that she had confronted the Catalyst somewhere in the heart of the Citadel where the arms came together. Hackett had offered to have a team take her back to where they had recovered her from but she had refused, the images of those last moments on the Citadel etched too deeply in her mind.

Beside her she heard Kaidan inhale sharply. Glancing at his face she knew it was the first time he'd seen the destruction that had engulfed the station. They'd probably been too focussed on arriving home and getting the ship on the ground to worry about the remains of the Citadel. Tearing his eyes away from it he gave her a look of horror and disbelief as she reached out to give his fingers a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Then it passed from view as Joker guided the ship through Earth's atmosphere.

The arrival of the Normandy and the Fifth Fleet back on Earth kicked off the global celebrations. Thousands of people thronged the city streets, bridges and balconies overlooking the flight path to the Alliance docking bays as the Normandy dropped below the clouds over Vancouver. Shuttles bearing camera crews zipped around them as Joker guided the ship through a graceful banking manoeuver over English Bay. Throttling back he positioned the Normandy in her assigned dock with pinpoint precision moments before the docking clamps locked into place.

"Great job Joker." She praised the pilot with a smile.

"Thanks Shepard." He acknowledged before turning to Kaidan with a smirk. "See, now this feels right."

Kaidan chuckled before shaking his head at her confused look. "I'll explain later." He promised as the airlock hissed and opened.

As the crew cheered and celebrated their arrival Shepard gave Joker, EDI and Kaidan a smile. "It's been an honour." She told them as she positioned her peaked cap on her head and stepped out of the airlock to meet the waiting Alliance officials.

A small group of civilians were waiting anxiously at the end of the walkway, craning their necks as they looked past her to see who would be following her out. As Hackett stepped forward to greet her she caught a glimpse of Kaidan's parents and Emilio Vega in the group and some of the tension eased from her shoulders. Stopping in front of the Admiral of the Fleet she snapped to attention with a sharp salute even as she caught the relieved look on his face.

"At ease Commander." He ordered after returning the salute. "Welcome home."

"Thank you Sir."

"I can't tell you how much today means to everyone Shepard." He confided. "Aside from all of the soldiers that can finally be reunited with their families this is a momentous day for Earth. We can finally say that this war is over. You and the crew will all need to be debriefed but all things considered I think you'll agree that can have to wait."

She nodded as the waiting relatives surged forward with cries of joy to greet the first crew members to exit the Normandy. "I think the crew deserve the chance to celebrate their victory."

"As do you but I need you to put that on hold for the moment. Now that the Normandy is back on Earth the Alliance wants to hold a press conference and put out a statement while giving the media the chance to see the Commander responsible for defeating the Reapers. Once we're done at headquarters you can take a couple days shore leave."

"Just a couple of days?"

"The war may officially be over but both you and I know that there are still some loose ends that need to be tied up and you're the only one who is in the position to do it."

The babble of voices faded into the background as Hackett's words brought her mind sharply into focus again. She'd known that she still had Petrovsky and Aria to deal with but she'd allowed herself to push those thoughts out of her mind long enough to enjoy finally being able to return to Earth with her crew and her ship. The small smile that had graced her features at the sight of her crew's happiness on being reunited with their loved ones had well and truly faded as she fell into step beside Hackett as he walked out to the shuttle waiting to take them to Alliance Command.


	23. Chapter 23

Following the crew as they left the Normandy, Kaidan was surprised to see civilians rushing towards them with shouts of joy. Craning his neck to find Shepard he was only able to catch a glimpse of her retreating form flanked by Alliance officers and the unmistakable figure of Admiral Hackett. It shouldn't have surprised him to see Hackett there, Shepard had just led an Alliance fleet into war after all but that didn't stop the twinge of disappointment that he felt. He had wanted to celebrate their return to Earth together, to cherish the moment they thought that they would never get to see but as with so many things in their relationship the Alliance had priority and their personal lives would have to wait. The Admiral was probably relieved to have the Fifth Fleet back in orbit and ready to start re-establishing more of the Alliance bases that had been lost. Kaidan could only hope that Shepard wasn't immediately sent to take command of that operation next.

"Kaidan!" His mother's voice suddenly rose above the small crowd pushing all thoughts of the Alliance from his mind.

"Mom!" As soon as he caught sight of her Kaidan rushed forward throwing his arms around her and lifting her off of her feet as they hugged each other tightly.

As he put her carefully back on her feet Katherine Alenko cupped her son's face gently between her hands and he could see the tears swimming in her eyes. "I knew you'd come home safely."

His father clasped his shoulder, his left arm in a sling across his chest and the relief Kaidan felt was overwhelming. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders seeing them both alive and well in front of him. Turning to embrace him gently so as not to jar the injured arm Kaidan could feel the older man shaking from the emotion of seeing his son back in one piece as his voice cracked on the words. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Dad. I can't believe you're both here." Stepping back he indicated the arm. "What happened?"

Richard Alenko shrugged with a wry grin. "We were in Seattle trying to evacuate civilians when those Reapers showed up. We were holed up for a couple of weeks holding off their ground troops before they started overwhelming our position. After a couple of explosions went off close by I found myself laid up in hospital with a concussion, a broken arm and some stitches."

Katherine gave her husband a loving look full of pride as she slipped her arm through her son's and they made their way out of the dockyard. "Your father did his part while you were off saving the galaxy."

"This from the woman who held off a bunch of mercenaries trying to bring some of the people from the Interior back into the city." Her husband replied with a fond smile.

Kaidan shook his head in amazement as they walked along the river past people celebrating and reporters with their cameras trying to get shots of the crew. "So much has happened to you both. When I didn't hear anything I was worried that the worst had happened."

"You didn't think we'd go down without a fight did you?" His father looked incredulous.

"Come on Dad, you saw what happened when the Reapers invaded. So many people died, too many will never know what happened to their families."

Katherine gave his arm a comforting squeeze. "How do you think we felt knowing you were out there? You were facing those things every day and after what happened on Mars….. it's a miracle any of us survived. This is all thanks to your Shepard you know." He blinked in surprise at his mother. She indicated the city being brought back to life around them as they strolled along the waterfront and past Alliance Command. "She led the fight to take the city back from the mercenaries and then mobilized the Alliance and local people to begin rebuilding."

It didn't surprise him and pride swelled in his chest for the woman who had given so much of herself and had asked for nothing in return. "That sounds just like her."

"The Commander found where I was laid up in hospital and got me onto a transport back here to your mother." Richard added.

"Dad you don't need to call her Commander." He said absently as he absorbed what Shepard had done for them all. He knew it hadn't just been for him since he'd seen a man who could only have been Vega's uncle waiting with the group but the fact that she had cared enough about all of them to find their families and loved ones humbled him.

His father fixed him with a stern look. "I'm still part of the Alliance son and your young lady deserves every ounce of respect we can muster so until the day you bring her home and introduce her to us properly as more than just your CO on the Normandy she will remain Commander Shepard."

"Yes sir." Feeling suddenly like a teenager being asked to bring his girlfriend home for the first time Kaidan snapped his mouth shut, focussing instead on the area ahead of them where his parents place had been. To his shock the buildings were still standing, seemingly intact. "Is that….?"

"You bet, the old place is still there." His father confirmed proudly. "There was some damage to the exterior but I guess being so close to where the Reapers landed anyone left in the city avoided the area. We were able to move back in as soon as the neighbourhood had been secured and the buildings were checked over to make sure they were still structurally sound. Once things were a little more settled your mother and I went to check on your apartment. Unfortunately there wasn't much left standing."

"I guess all things considered I should be grateful." He grudgingly admitted, thinking longingly about the few personal possessions he'd left behind that were now lost before brushing the thought aside. That apartment had been his home for the two years he'd mourned Shepard and tried to find some meaning in his life. Perhaps it was for the best then to not have the reminder of those times and put it behind him so that they could have a fresh start together. Things could be replaced, lives could not and he was a hell of a lot better off than some other people in this city.

"I can't believe this place is still standing." His voice was awed as his father let them into the house.

Walking out towards the balcony he took in the familiar view of English Bay. There were a few scorch marks still visible on the railings but the furniture and plants that had always decorated the space were gone. Behind him his mother moved around the kitchen with the ease of someone who had never left. "Once the Alliance got the power and water back up the supplies started coming in pretty regularly. It's pretty standard fare at the moment but at least we're getting fresh food so I can whip something together for you."

"Thanks mom." It seemed so unreal to be standing here in the place he'd grown up after everything that had happened. It was the same comfortable and familiar home he'd always known but he was no longer the same man he had been then. Even when he'd had his own place he'd spent a lot of his free time here with his folks because it had always been more of a home than any ship or posting but now with a jarring realization he knew that it wasn't true anymore. The Normandy had felt like home for most of the crew but when they'd become stranded it had become clear that one of the reasons for that was her Commander. Gazing out over the water he could see the imposing façade of Alliance Command and the buildings surrounding it that housed the barracks and private quarters for the officers. Shepard would have been assigned quarters there and he knew with startling clarity that for the rest of his life home would be wherever she was. Back on the Citadel all those months ago he'd told her that he wanted to understand what had still been between them and make it real again. As his mother called them in to dinner he knew it was time for him to start making their future a reality.

* * *

Within minutes of arriving at Alliance Command Shepard found herself standing in front of the galactic media with the building as a backdrop. As Hackett and a number of Alliance spokesmen gave their prepared statements she stood at attention, her expression a mask of professionalism as the cameras watched her every movement. The reporters called out questions to her but aside from a couple fielded by Hackett they were ignored. It seemed that she had a brief reprieve from the media but she knew that she would have to speak to them eventually. With the statement behind them Hackett led the way back to his office. Once inside the Admiral immediately tossed his peaked cap onto the desk, giving her an uncharacteristic smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes as the officials left, closing the door behind them.

"Damn glad to see you Shepard."

"Thank you Sir, it's good to be back home."

"You should have seen the reaction when the first ships started bringing the wounded home, you'd think the Reapers had been defeated all over again."

"I guess for a lot of people it was the sign that the war was truly over."

"Well now that the entire fleet is back it's official." He acknowledged, clasping his hands behind his back. "There's still a lot of work to be done before things are back to the way they were."

"It will never be the way it was Admiral."

Hackett nodded in agreement, his gaze going to the city skyline visible from the window and the repairs that were being done. "True, we'll rebuild stronger but we will never forget what happened and the sacrifices that were made. To be honest I didn't think I'd see this day." He admitted solemnly before seemingly giving himself a mental shake. "A lot has happened since you left Commander. I know you've been getting the reports through but you will need time to get up to speed with the changes. There is an official event in a week's time to honour those who fought and you in particular. The Alliance brass, the Council and foreign dignitaries will be present as part of the celebrations marking the end of the war."

"I appreciate that Sir but we still have Aria and Cerberus to deal with."

"Aria T'Loak is not the Alliance's concern but the fact that a number of her mercenary ships are still stationed in the Sol System are. I know you had a deal with her but with the Normandy back without any help from her it makes things more complicated."

"As per my report I think it's clear that Aria needs my help to take Omega back from Cerberus. I believe Oleg Petrovsky is behind the attack on the station as well."

"The evidence Dr. T'Soni and Ms. Goto uncovered does seem to indicate that and if true it would put our interests in line with Aria's. However the Alliance can't be seen to be attempting to influence the political situation in the Terminus Systems without risking another war so our hands are tied for the moment."

"So where does this leave me Sir?"

"Until the Normandy is repaired you will remain grounded Commander." He held up a hand to stop her inevitable question. "I know it's not an ideal situation but right now yours is the face that people want to see. Things are still in a fragile state and while the Alliance is currently riding on a wave of goodwill there are still cities in ruins and billions of people in need of help and our resources are stretched thin as it is. We are doing the best we can but things can't be fixed overnight. I've sent some of the fleets out to start repairing our larger outposts and with stability returning to our allies we are starting to get the trade routes open again but it isn't easy."

"Then surely it would be more useful for me to be working to help re-establish those links."

"No, right now you are the best asset we have and you are a symbol of hope to the people on Earth. You saved them from the threat of annihilation and now you'll be standing with them as we rebuild."

"What about the rest of my crew?"

"After debriefing Major Alenko will return to his duties as head of the 1st Special Operations Biotic Company. Lieutenant Vega will report for N7 training as soon as the facility is operational again and the rest of the crew will be temporarily reassigned until a decision has been made for the future role of the Normandy and its Commander."

Shepard could feel her heart sink at his words. The wording was very deliberate; it was out of her hands and to a large extent out of his for the moment. She must have given something away in her expression because his features softened. "Be patient Shepard, you're the best damn soldier in the Alliance and I need you out there but for the moment we need to focus on Earth."

The look he gave her now was the same one he'd given her after the mission to rescue Dr. Kenson had gone to hell. Hackett knew what he was asking of her, knew what it meant for her to be grounded but he was also asking for her to trust him. Burying her feelings deep behind the mask of Commander Shepard she gave him the words he was expecting to hear. "Yes Sir."

"Dismissed." Turning to leave she was at the door when he called out a final time. "By the way Shepard the memorial in London was unveiled a few weeks ago. You might want to go and pay your respects when you're there."

"Thank you, I will."

* * *

After dinner his father had cracked open a few beers as they'd caught up on everything that had happened. He'd listened with amazement as his parents described the situation they'd been faced with. His father had experienced the destruction and the horrors that the Reapers had inflicted on humanity first hand and he was sure that if his father's hair hadn't been almost completely silver to start with it would have been after what he'd seen. It was clear that he owed Samara a debt as his mother told of their flight from the interior and the Justicar's timely arrival after redirecting her shuttle to their location. It was amazing how a single decision could have such widespread consequences. Had Shepard not brought Samara on board the Normandy and managed to earn her respect it would have been entirely likely that the Justicar would not have been on her way to Vancouver that morning and his mother would have been killed by the mercenaries. The events that had been set into motion back on Eden Prime with Shepard saving him from the beacon had spiralled out into events none of them could have imagined or prepared for. Each decision could have changed the course of the conflict but somehow it had all come together and they had succeeded against all odds. How would things have turned out had he acted differently? Would they still be here if he'd been hit by the beacon instead of Shepard? Would they have been better prepared if he'd joined her back on Horizon? He would never know but past mistakes aside he could at least be grateful that things had turned out the way that they had.

After his parents had gone to bed a restless Kaidan stepped out onto the balcony, admiring the lights that blazed brightly as the sounds of the celebrations taking place around the city drifted over to where he stood. There was a chill in the air as he rested his arms on the railing, his gaze straying to the Alliance buildings in the distance. Despite the happiness at seeing his parents alive and well he hadn't been able to stop his thoughts turning to Shepard and wondering what she was doing now. It had only been a few hours since they'd been together on the Normandy but he missed her. The soft glide of the sliding door caught his attention and he turned to find his mother stepping out, draping a jacket over her shoulders against the cool temperature.

"Hey mom, thought you were asleep."

She smiled as she stopped beside him, taking in the view. "I knew you were still up and about. I imagine it's quite a change being back."

He huffed out a laugh. "You could say that. It's strange knowing that after all this time it's finally over. That people are picking up their lives and everything is returning to normal."

"Having lived through a war and lost so much people are holding on to the familiar, trying to bring some order back to their lives."

"I know, I guess it's still just sinking in." They lapsed into silence watching the shuttles passing by overhead as they transported crew from the fleets stationed in orbit.

He hadn't realized that his gaze had once again been drawn to the Alliance barracks until his mother gave a slight chuckle and fixed him with a knowing smile. "You've found yourself a good woman who loves you very much."

"I know mom, I love her too."

"Well that I've known for a very long time." At his look she arched a brow. "I remember how you were after everyone thought she'd died on the original Normandy. You didn't have to say anything for me to know that she had been more to you than just your Commanding Officer. You tried to hide it from everyone and pretend that everything was alright but I saw how much it broke you."

Memories of the videos they'd found on the Illusive Man's base and Shepard's distraught expression filled his mind but it was not something he would ever share. "You never said anything."

"I didn't know the details but I figured that you'd come and talk if you were ready. More than anything it seemed you needed the space to grieve and come to terms with it on your own."

"With everything that happened I never thought that I would have the chance to be with her again. I wasn't there when she needed me and I accused her of terrible things." He admitted.

"You were there for her this time." Katherine pointed out. "She told me that she never would have succeeded in stopping the Reapers if it hadn't been for you."

Her words took him by surprise. "She did?"

"Even with all of the responsibilities she had on her plate, as soon as she heard there was a group of refugees coming in from the BC interior she personally came down to the camp to look for us. She made sure that we received any updates almost as soon as they crossed her desk. She's very capable isn't she?"

Kaidan chuckled. "That she is. It was probably one of the first things that blew me away about her."

"It's good to see. You spent so many years keeping everything so rigidly controlled that you shut off big parts of yourself. But that started to change the moment you met her."

"I don't think anything turned out the way that I planned." He confided.

"Life rarely does but most of the time it ends up being even better than we ever thought possible." Seeing the way his eyes kept straying Katherine smiled indulgently. "Why don't you go and find her. You deserve a chance to celebrate after everything you've accomplished."

Surprised he turned back with a questioning look. "It's fine mom, I'm here with you guys."

"But it's not where you really want to be." Raising her hand when he opened his mouth to protest she continued. "We're not going anywhere and we're fine. After everything you've been through I think you both deserve some happiness."

He hesitated for a long moment before grinning as he bent down and kissed his mother's cheek. "I love you mom. Thank you for understanding."

Stopping only long enough to grab his duffel bag from the guest room he stepped out into the cool evening air, each step taking him closer to the woman he couldn't live without.

* * *

The apartment seemed too quiet. Having lived on starships for so long she was used to the subtle hum of the reactor core and the bustle of the crew. It should have felt peaceful knowing that she had accomplished her mission and brought the fleet safely home but she didn't like being grounded. It wasn't a punishment, the Admiral was merely following Alliance protocol but even taking into account the fact that the Normandy needed to undergo repairs it still grated. Now as she stared sightlessly out of the windows at the square below where revellers thronged the streets in force she felt the loneliness keenly. It had been so easy to become accustomed to having Kaidan share her quarters and she had to admit she felt a little adrift without him there. A short message via omni-tool was all that it would take to speak to him but she refrained from sending it. He had only just been reunited with his parents and they deserved that time together, she wouldn't take that away from them because the bed seemed too big for her alone.

Determined to shake herself out of her mood she stripped out of her BDUs and stepped under the hot spray of the shower. Feeling clean and refreshed after an indulgently long shower she dragged on a clean shirt and shorts before padding out to the kitchen for some food. The last time she'd been in this apartment she'd been so focussed on the mission ahead, her mind methodically working through the logistics and tactics for the coming battle but always in the back of her mind the thought of finding the Normandy and her crew lingered. Now she was expected to fulfil the role of conquering hero as the celebrations continued. Once again her shore leave would have to wait but rather than putting her to work where she could be useful she was going to be shuttled from city to city, feted as she posed for photos and shook the hands of politicians desperately vying for positions in the power vacuum left by the war. The thought of what lay ahead was enough to give her a headache but she understood the necessity for it and until the repairs were complete on the Normandy there was little she could do. The sooner she got the tour finished the faster she could track down Petrovsky and bring him to justice. The thorny problem of Aria T'Loak remained and she was not known for her patience. The fact that she needed Shepard's help worked in her favour but the Asari was not going to wait much longer.

The chime of the doorbell broke the silence and she blinked in surprise, mentally chastising herself for the hand that reached for a pistol. Assuming it to be an Alliance official she opened the door only to find Vega standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Evening James, you manage to get lost already?" She said drily, stepping back to let him in.

He grinned as she shut the door behind him. "Hey Shepard, nah I just wanted to come by and thank you for finding my uncle."

"You're welcome but you didn't need to come over here to tell me that."

"Yeah I did. Sure I could have sent a message but it seemed right to say it in person."

"You're a good man James."

"Uh huh and you remember that when you're doing my N7 training evaluation."

She snorted. "I can't wait to see you ask your training officer to get a matching tattoo."

"Well for now that's you and it's still not too late for you to get my name tattooed somewhere special Lola. " He teased, chuckling when she merely rolled her eyes at him in response.

"Thanks but I'll pass."

Noticing how silent the rest of the apartment was he gave her a surprised look. "You here on your own Lola? Where's the Major? Thought you two might be out having a good time like everyone else."

"He's with his family and believe it or not Vega I can manage just fine on my own."

"Don't I know it." He drawled suggestively. "Seriously though, me and some of the guys are heading out for some drinks to celebrate. You're more than welcome to join us."

"That's alright but thanks I appreciate the thought." Her smile was quickly replaced by an arched brow as the doorbell chimed again.

She moved to open the door, words dying in her throat as she opened the door to find Kaidan standing in the hall with a duffel bag by his feet.

"Hey Shepard." His smile became tentative as he saw Vega's hulking figure standing behind her in the hallway. "Lieutenant."

She couldn't contain the happiness that bloomed inside of her. "Kaidan."

Shooting Shepard a grin Vega winked and stepped towards the door. "I think that's my cue to leave. And Shepard, thanks for everything."

She chuckled and shook her head ruefully at his retreating form. "See ya around James."

"Did I come at a bad time?" Kaidan was frowning as he watched the younger man leave.

With a small laugh she held the door open to let him in. "No, James just stopped by to say thank you for finding his uncle and to try and convince me to join some of them for drinks." As the door shut behind him he dropped his bag in the entranceway and some of the tension seemed to leave him. "So what are you doing here? I thought you'd be with your parents."

"Yeah I was and it was great seeing them - wonderful really – would you believe their place was still standing? My mom made this great meal and the relief of seeing them both ok…I can't tell you how much that means to me." He shook his head as if he couldn't quite believe it was real. "They made sure to let me know how much is thanks to you."

Shooting him a wry look she led the way into the living room, sinking down on the couch and drawing her legs up under her. "So how are you parents doing?"

He gave a half laugh as he sat down beside her. "You know it's hard to believe they're both fine. I know you didn't have to…"

She cut him off with a look. "Come on Kaidan all I did was get your dad on to a transport the rest they did themselves."

"They are pretty tough huh?"

"Well your father was complaining about needing to stay in hospital until they were sure he'd recovered from his concussion so I now see where you get it from." She teased.

"I guess we both had something more important to get back to." He mused as he stroked his thumb gently along her jaw.

"You know when you say things like that it's hard to remember how you used to trip up just talking to me." She mused, leaning her cheek against his hand.

"Yeah well back then my tongue seemed to tie up in knots whenever you'd smile at me."

"But not anymore?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.

That earned her a chuckle. "Oh it still happens, I've just had a little more practice in not making a complete fool of myself. Though you have to admit I got it pretty badly wrong a few times."

"We both did."

"I can't promise I'll always get it right now either." Reaching out he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her as she settled her cheek against his chest, her hand resting over his heart. She lost track of how long they sat curled together in companionable silence, relishing the simplicity of just being together. Finally Kaidan broke the silence. "How did it go with Hackett?"

Her sigh spoke volumes. "Until the Normandy is repaired I'm grounded. I've got a couple days of shore leave but then I get to be the star attraction in the Alliance's PR effort."

"I know it's probably not what you want to hear but you could use the break."

"Another sanity check?" She quipped as she straightened from where she'd been half-lying against him.

"Sure, you get some down time to sort things out. After we left Earth you were so driven to stop the Reapers that there was no room for you to unwind a little. You just pushed yourself to breaking point taking every responsibility and failure onto your shoulders while feeling that no matter what you did it wasn't enough. You've earned a chance to stop, even if it's only for a couple of days."

She gave a defeated sigh. "I guess I've been doing that for so long now I'm not sure I know how to stop."

"We'll figure it out." He promised as a devilish light came into his eyes. Standing he pulled her to her feet. "And we're going to start by going out and celebrating with a few drinks."

"Kaidan, I…" she started to protest with a smile but he stopped her words with a quick kiss.

"No Alliance, no reports, no pressing duties, just us and a million other people celebrating life. A quick drink." He said slyly as she burst into helpless laughter.

"Uh huh and where have I heard that before?" She called over her shoulder as she went into the bedroom to change into a pair of trousers. Grabbing her leather jacket with the distinctive red and white stripes on the arm she couldn't help but feel some of her worries slip away.

They'd barely made it a few feet from the building when they were enveloped in the madness of it all. The sheer number of people forced them to walk pressed against one another which gave Kaidan the opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist pulling her even closer, making her shiver as his warm fingers grazed the skin under the hem of her t-shirt. Revellers filled the streets, some dancing while others hugged and kissed each other as the alcohol flowed freely, passed out in plastic cups to anyone who wanted one. Even with the crush of people and the music blaring from hastily erected sound systems a few could be found wrapped in a more intimate embrace but they were either ignored or jostled by the good natured crowd. Kaidan had been right. Aside from a few that recognized them as Alliance no one cared who they were and even those that did recognize them simply slapped them on the back before disappearing back into the crowd.

Sparklers waved in the air, leaving momentary trails of light as small firecrackers went off with ear-piercing bangs to the shrieking delight of a group of children darting between their parents. Laughing she let Kaidan pull her against him, swaying in time to the music. They both knew she was a horrible dancer but even she could manage a sway, especially if it meant being held in the circle of his arms. The happiness was contagious as she found herself smiling and laughing at the antics of those around them as they wound their way towards the waterfront.

"Shepard!" Liara's excited voice rose over the noise as they caught sight of her waving at them from a quieter spot looking out over the water.

Making their way over they found James, Cortez, Joker, EDI and Liara sitting around a couple of picnic tables that they'd pushed together and by the looks of things they'd been there for a little while if the discarded cups were anything to go by.

"Hey Lola, you decide to take me up on my offer?" James grinned from his position sitting on the edge of the nearest table.

"Well after such a tempting off how could I refuse?"

"Aww but you brought the Major so clearly you're here to break my heart." He sighed theatrically, grasping his chest.

"You'd need to find it first Mr. Vega. Which lady stole it this time?" Cortez retorted as the others fell apart laughing.

James was completely unperturbed by the remark as he winked at Shepard. "Is it my fault the ladies can't resist this package?"

"We know you'll all talk Vega." Kaidan chuckled as he curled his fingers around the nape of Shepard's neck in an unintentionally proprietary gesture.

"It's still good to see you both." Liara's eyes looked a little glazed and Shepard suspected that the Asari was probably well on her way to getting drunk. "You are joining us aren't you?"

"Where's Javik?" She asked as she accepted the drink that Cortez passed across.

The Asari gave a frustrated sigh. "He said he wanted to be alone and that he didn't see the amusement in watching inferior species behave without restraint."

Shepard shook her head. "That sounds like him. I guess he needs to figure out where to go from here."

"What do you mean?"

"He's the only surviving Prothean and his sole mission throughout his life has been the destruction of the Reapers. Now that we have he has to figure out what to do now."

"Oh, I see your point. Yes that would be quite disconcerting for someone so out of his time." Liara's forehead wrinkled. "But there is still so much for me to learn."

"I know, the question is does he want to teach you more about his people." Shepard said gently. "In London he said that he wished to find the final resting place of his people and rejoin them."

"What? But he can't!"

"It's a decision he has to make for himself but that doesn't mean a couple of friends couldn't attempt to dissuade him." She went on before the other woman could get herself too worked up. "It's a thought for tomorrow Liara. Javik isn't going anywhere tonight."

Her expression brightened immediately. "Yes, I suppose you are right."

She shared an amused look with Kaidan as Liara allowed herself to be drawn into a friendly debate with James and Cortez. Despite all the things she'd been through over the years deep down Liara was still the same slightly scatter-brained scientist they'd rescued all those years ago. Her lips quirked at the memory as she took the free seat across from where Joker and EDI sat watching the proceedings.

"Hey Commander." The pilot greeted, raising his glass in salute. "Can you believe how many people are out tonight? It's crazy right?"

"I'm amazed we found you guys at all in this crowd."

He smirked. "You just knew we'd be where the best party was."

"Clearly." She said drily.

"It is quite remarkable to witness so many people engaging in celebratory activities." EDI observed. "They seem… happy."

Joker gave her an odd look. "Well yeah, of course they are. We kicked Reaper ass and they lived to tell their kids about it."

As she watched the two together she felt an edge of guilt creep into her mind knowing that she had been so willing to end EDI's existence to stop the Reapers. There had never been a doubt in her mind that it had been the right decision to make but she was grateful for whatever twist of fate had kept EDI and the Geth alive.

Suddenly there was a crack and fireworks began exploding in the night sky, drawing cries of excitement from the onlookers. The group stepped up to the railing to admire the colours that burst into view above them, reflecting on the water below in a kaleidoscope of shimmering light as the sparks drifted slowly down before vanishing into wisps of smoke. More and more were launched into the air until it seemed the entire sky had become a sparkling tapestry of colour. She felt the warmth of Kaidan's body as he stepped up beside her, sliding his arm around her waist. Leaning against him she gave a sigh of pleasure as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Joker's bemused look at their uncharacteristic public display of affection as he stood beside them with his arm wrapped around EDI's shoulders. They'd always been so careful when on duty to not let their relationship interfere with their missions that it must seem strange for him to see them so relaxed together. As his gaze met hers he gave her an approving smile.

"I guess we really did it huh Shepard."

"We really did." She agreed as the two couples stood together surrounded by their friends as they looked out over the water.

Hooking her arm around Kaidan's waist she let her head rest on his shoulder, uncaring who was watching. Neither of them were on duty so tonight she wasn't going to worry about the regs or their responsibilities. Right now they were just two people in love appreciating that they'd survived the worst the galaxy had to throw at them to be standing here tonight. Maybe it was the alcohol or he'd just been swept up in the evening or maybe he just didn't care any more than she did who saw as he tilted her chin back and claimed her lips in a tender kiss. As if from a vast distance she heard a wolf whistle – she swore it was James – but she ignored it as in that perfect moment she felt herself light up from the inside just like one of the fireworks exploding above them.


	24. Chapter 24

The skies above London looked ominous as sunshine sporadically tried to break through the clouds. The celebrations were being held outside, though whether this was down to optimism of the bad weather holding off or simply a lack of space indoors she wasn't sure but she suspected the latter. With representatives from most of the races and their entourages along with the Council and most of the high ranking officers from the Alliance it had become a logistical headache for the organizers. The news that the crew of the Normandy and Commander Shepard were going to be honoured during the celebrations had sent the news crews into a frenzy to pull what strings they could to get the best angles for the ceremony.

Casting a final glance at the mirror Shepard straightened her peaked cap and took a deep breath. She knew that the moment she stepped out of her quarters and into the crowded hallways of the HQ that she would be whisked between photo ops and congratulatory meet and greets before the ceremony took place. It was something she had been subjected to daily over the past week, having been shuttled from city to city to provide the Alliance with a much needed boost in some of the hardest hit areas. It had been heart breaking to see the devastation spread over so much of the world but the resilient spirit had been clear to see wherever she'd gone. When she'd gotten a free moment she had slipped out into the cities and walked through their scarred streets, capturing the images in her memory. She'd lost count of the times she'd come across civilians struggling to clear the wreckage from what had once been homes or shops. They hadn't cared who she was or what she'd done, they'd simply been grateful for another pair of hands to help with the backbreaking work. It had only been afterwards when they'd asked for her name that the all too familiar look of awe had come over them. It hadn't always been the case as she'd encountered her fair share of anger. Survivors that felt let down by the Alliance, who had heard the stories of Commander Shepard and waited, hoping and praying that the Alliance's avenging angel would swoop down and save their friends and family only to watch their cities and homes crumble around them, those same friends and family captured or killed by invading Reaper forces with the supposed hero nowhere to be seen. She couldn't blame them for their anger but knew it wasn't truly directed at her – she was merely the convenient scapegoat for their grief. It had been clear in some of the poorer regions that the mercenary groups still controlled small areas and the soldier in her had itched to armour up and drive them out of the neighbourhoods but she had been forced to stand back and watch the events happening around her. Staying idle wasn't in her nature and the lack of real purpose grated on her. Here were places where she could be useful, where she could bring her skills to bear to improve the lives of the people within that community but instead her hands were tied by bureaucratic red tape. Despite everything she didn't labour under false illusions. She knew all too well that these situations were common in the galaxy, especially at the edges of Alliance space where there wasn't enough of a military presence to protect the settlements. Then there were those who willingly chose to live outside Alliance space leaving themselves vulnerable to attack as she'd witnessed first-hand while fighting the Collectors.

With the war over the focus had shifted back to the politics and it was clear that many saw her as a useful pawn to further their agendas. Unfortunately for them they didn't know who they were dealing with and while she was currently having to play the PR game for the Alliance Shepard was not about to let herself be turned into a political tool if she could avoid it. Unfortunately today she wouldn't even have Kaidan or the crew to make the event more bearable until they were up on the podium itself and then they would be under the spotlight. Even with the Alliance struggling to accommodate all of its own people and the dignitaries she and Kaidan had been assigned separate quarters since he would be acting as an official escort for the Council until the ceremony and they had yet to officially confirm their relationship to their superiors though it would have surprised her had Hackett not been aware of it.

Squaring her shoulders she left her quarters and barely taken a few steps before one of Hackett's aides appeared at her elbow ushering her to the first reception room. It was moments like these she was grateful that she was an officer in the Alliance. She wasn't expected to paste a fake smile on her face and make mindless small talk – she was a soldier representing the Navy and that came with a strict code of conduct. She quickly lost track of the number of people she had been introduced to having only filed away the names of those she'd considered important for future reference. It had even been a pleasant surprise to have Councillor Sparatus come and greet her personally.

"It seems you are quite the celebrity Commander. We may not always have agreed but it is good to see you well." The Turian said with no hint of irony.

"And you as well Councillor."

His voice dropped so that his words would only be audible to her. "I appreciate the part you played in freeing my world from the control of Cerberus. We were wrong to dismiss your claims of the threat that they posed. By the time they attacked the Citadel events were already too far in motion to stop them but do not think that we are not aware of the debt we owe you."

"I appreciate that Councillor but I was simply doing what I was trained to do."

He gave her an appraising look. "Fair enough. I assume you will continue your duties as a Spectre once the Council has reconvened?"

"Of course, I imagine there will be a greater need for the Spectres for a while to come with everything that has happened."

"You clearly have a good grasp of the situation." Sparatus nodded approvingly. "I must go and rejoin that other Councillors but thank you for taking the time to speak with me Commander." He moved to step away but paused and turned back to face her. "We will not always agree. There is much history on both sides and my position requires me to consider the greater good for all of the Council races. That being said please know that you have my utmost respect and that while we may not be able to always act in the way you would wish your words do carry weight with the Council."

Without giving her a chance to respond he turned and strode back to where the other Councillors mingled with the dignitaries. Catching sight of Kaidan standing beside them distracted her from turning the Turian's words over in her mind. He really did look far too handsome in his dress blues she thought to herself, giving him a slight smile as he met her gaze. He must have seen something in her eyes because he suddenly cleared his throat and turned away, a light blush visible even from where she was standing. Biting back a laugh she turned as the aide brought yet another guest to meet her.

* * *

It seemed that the optimism had paid off as the assembled guests sat in the pale sunshine watching the ceremony unfold. Each crew member of the Normandy was recognized for their bravery and awarded a special commendation and Joker was presented with a medal for his skills as a pilot and for managing to keep the Council and the crew safe during their crash landing. The crowd applauded politely and the news crews dutifully reported on the events but a hush fell over them as Admiral Hackett stepped forward for the final presentation. Standing proudly behind the lectern with his own substantial swath of medals on display he spoke without the assistance of notes or a teleprompter. He knew precisely what he wanted to say.

"Today I can honour the exceptional efforts of the men and women who fought against impossible odds to defeat an enemy determined to destroy every advanced civilization in the galaxy. Too many are no longer with us and they shall be remembered by each and every race as we work together to rebuild." Hackett paused, his eyes taking in the crowd. "However there is one soldier among us who, along with the crew of the Alliance vessel the SSV Normandy SR-2, showed incomparable courage and bravery in the face of those odds. With her words and actions she brought peace to those who had been locked in centuries of conflict and succeeded in bringing the races of the galaxy together in order to save us all. And in an effort that almost cost her her life she delivered the final blow that ended the Reaper threat. So it is with great pride that I now ask Commander Shepard to step forward."

All eyes were on her as she stood and with impeccable military bearing made her way to the podium, saluting Hackett as she stopped beside him. Presenting her with the medal the pride was clear in his voice. "In recognition of your courageous and distinguished service above and beyond the call of duty I hereby present you with the Star of Terra."

"Thank you Sir." The crowd burst into thunderous applause as she shook his hand with a smile.

Indicating she should remain where she was, Hackett held his hand up for silence. When the murmuring finally faded into silence he spoke again. "Today marks an historic day as I welcome the esteemed members of the Citadel Council to make their own presentation."

Shepard blinked at him in surprise as Councillors Sparatus and Valern made their way onto the stage only to stop in front of her.

"Thank you Admiral for such a warm introduction" Sparatus acknowledged before turning to face her. "Commander Shepard, on behalf of the Turian Hierarchy in appreciation not only of your actions in saving the Council but in recognition of your efforts in the battle to retake Palaven and combat the Reaper threat I present you with the Nova Cluster. This medal has only ever been presented to individuals who acted with exceptional honour and sacrifice on behalf of the Turian people."

Once Shepard had accepted the Turian medal Councillor Valern stepped forward. "On behalf of the Salarian Union we bestow upon you the Silver Dagger in recognition of your heroic actions. You are only the second human we have ever awarded this medal to. I believe you were friends with the first."

As the crowd and the news cameras looked on Shepard became the most decorated soldier in the Alliance. Kaidan saw the surprise in her eyes as she thanked them both before the crowd erupted with deafening cheers and applause. On either side of the crowd reporters frantically tried to get the best shots as their words tumbled over one another in an effort to report the story. He knew that the requests for interviews would already be flooding the Alliance switchboard as the various news outlets clamoured to speak to _the_ Commander Shepard. Some of them would get their interviews though with Emily Wong gone he wasn't sure who Shepard's first choice would be except that it certainly wasn't going to be that al-Jilani woman. However those were concerns for another day, today was for celebrating and he looked on with pride as Shepard saluted Admiral Hackett and the assembled guests as a squadron of fighters flew overhead in formation.

* * *

The grey clouds that had darkened the skies overhead yesterday had finally made good on their threat as the rain pattered against the granite forming rivulets that ran down into the puddles on the ground. In full dress uniform except for the medals she'd been awarded yesterday Shepard stood overlooking the memorial, ignoring the water droplets that dripped from the brim of her peaked cap. From her vantage point Shepard could observe the goings on without drawing too much attention to herself and without the medals and ribbons on her uniform she was simply another Alliance soldier. Erected within a quiet grove of trees overlooking the Serpentine in Hyde Park, the memorial to the fallen was all the more powerful for its simplicity. Large granite slabs lined the edges, the names of every city and colony hit carved into them. The numbers were horrifying to see and the few civilians walking slowly through the memorial did nothing to hide the tears that flowed freely down their cheeks as they traced their fingers over names. Wrapped up in her own thoughts she ignored them, her own gaze on the marble plinth bearing the statue of a soldier helping a wounded comrade that graced the centre of the memorial. Anderson's name was carved into the marble in honour of his efforts and the ultimate sacrifice paid along with a poem for all of the fallen. She didn't need to see the words to remember them. Closing her eyes they came to mind almost unbidden.

_They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:_

_Age shall not weary them, not the years condemn._

_At the going down of the sun and in the morning,_

_We will remember them._

She had been fighting on Palaven when the memorial had been unveiled in the presence of a select group of Alliance officers and she was sad to have missed it. By all accounts Hackett had read the words out with a clear voice until his voice had cracked during the last line in an uncharacteristic sign of emotion. A larger event was planned in a couple of months' time for the unveiling of the beacon that would serve as the memorial for all races. Built on the site of the conduit, a beam of light would shine into the sky as a symbol of the undying hope and courage of those who had fought to stop the Reapers. This was a more private affair, built as a tribute to the human casualties and the man who had represented so much to so many of them. It saddened her to think that one day his name would become consigned to the history books and largely forgotten but she supposed that that applied to all of them. No matter how great their efforts and their sacrifices, time would march on and new things would take their place eventually. The Reaper War would never be forgotten but the human face of it would fade into stories until the larger than life heroes they spoke about bore little resemblance to the people they had been.

A smooth voice broke her pensive mood as Samara's graceful figure stopped beside. "May I join you Commander?"

"Of course Samara. Did you need something?"

"I apologize for intruding upon a private moment but it is time for me to take my leave of you."

The news didn't surprise Shepard. "Where will you go now?"

"I am still bound by the code and therefore I must return to Asari space to continue to fulfil my duties as a Justicar. Perhaps I will visit Falere. She is working to rebuild the monastery and provide a haven for other Ardat Yakshi."

"It takes a strong person to be able to willingly keep themselves locked away for their entire lives, especially when they live as long as an Asari."

"Yes that is true, it has always been a source of pride for me." She paused, her expression filling with regret. "Though I do not believe I ever told Rila that. Though I have honoured the code and held true to its tenets I now realize that I have much to make up for with Falere. Most of my life is behind me and while I cannot take the place of her sister I believe that it would be better to spend what time I have left knowing my daughter. That must sound silly to you."

Shepard smiled gently. "I think you'll find it's what you both need."

"Thank you Shepard, for everything. You not only helped stop Morinth and get some justice for her victims but you helped me protect the last of my daughters before saving me from myself. A truer friend I could not envisage and you have my eternal gratitude." Stepping forward Samara reached out and with a rare gesture of emotion embraced Shepard.

"Be safe Samara."

"And you as well Shepard. I fear that your path will not be as smooth as we all would wish for you but I have no doubt that you will find the peace and happiness that you deserve." With a regal bow of her head Samara stepped back, turning and walking to the waiting shuttle without a backward glance.

Shepard waited until the shuttle had lifted off and disappeared up into the clouds before turning away and walking back out of the park and onto the busy streets. The damage that had scarred London was hard to spot amongst the gleaming new buildings and freshly paved roads. It seemed that for many life had returned to something resembling normalcy though for Shepard the city was filled with ghosts. Historically important buildings that she'd seen bombed out had been carefully restored to their former glory but she saw past it to the smoking ruin the city had been. It was too easy to see the beam reaching up through the roiling clouds to the Citadel, to see the Reaper AA canon blocking their progress and the waves of husks pouring across a shattered city towards them. Closing her eyes she could still hear the sounds of the powerful lasers firing, the screams of the dying and the unmistakable shrieks of the Banshees. The smell of acrid smoke that seared her nostrils and the tiny flakes of ash that stung her eyes. Her helmet would have filtered all of that out but she'd left it behind in order to give herself the best field of vision, confident in the strength of her shields to protect her from stray rounds.

She didn't hear the quiet voice speak her name but at the touch on her arm she reacted on instinct, slashing out with her hand in a move designed to disable an attacker only to have her hand caught in a firm grip.

"Hey… hey! Shepard, it's me." Kaidan reassured her as he blocked her other hand coming up defensively before her eyes met his and her gaze cleared.

She looked shaken as she realized what she'd almost done. The apology was immediate. "Oh god Kaidan, I'm so sorry."

"Are you ok?" He asked worriedly, loosening his grip on her wrists but not letting go until she pulled away.

Running a hand through her hair in irritation she swore under her breath. "I'm fine. What're you doing here?"

"I came to find you after EDI said you were seeing Samara off. Now what was all that about?"

Seeing his stubborn expression she stifled a sigh, indicating the city. "It was nothing I was just remembering."

His gesture became pensive as he took in their surroundings. "Looking at it you wouldn't believe that this had been a war zone less than a year ago."

Aware that people had stopped to stare they turned and started making their way down the road. She wasn't sure how long they walked, each wrapped in their own memories, before she finally broke the silence. "There are a lot of ghosts here."

"A lot of good people died." He agreed solemnly. "Not all of them will be remembered the way that they should."

"When we came through here all I could think about was getting to that beam and stopping the Reapers. I knew the sacrifices I was asking people to make and I still pushed ahead thinking the cost was acceptable if it meant destroying them."

"It's easy to look back now and wonder whether you made the right choice but honestly it was the only decision you could have made. If we hadn't stopped them they would have wiped out all advanced forms of life and humanity would have ended up as nothing more than a footnote in history. I was there remember? I saw how you agonized over all of those decisions, the sleep you lost knowing how many lives were in the balance. You were the one that got us through, without you we wouldn't have stood a chance."

"Every war has its casualties, the sacrifices that need to be made and I know that there will never be logic or fairness in who dies and who doesn't but at Anderson's funeral….." she paused as if unwilling to admit the thought out loud. "All I could think about was how it should have been me in that box."

His voice was harsh with emotion. "As selfish as it sounds I'm glad it wasn't. Anderson was a good man and didn't deserve what he got but I couldn't have lost you again. You gave everything you had. Hell you already died once and were ready to do it again if it meant saving everyone. I think you deserve to be standing here more than anyone."

"We're soldiers Kaidan, it's a risk we take every day."

"I know and your fearless spirit and determination are part of the reason that I love you. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to be thankful for every day I get to spend with you." He reached out and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. "Before we got off of Proteus the crew put up a plaque on the memorial wall for Anderson."

"I saw it but I never told you what a nice touch it was. I think he would have appreciated it."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when they buried him."

She smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for a lot of things but I guess there's not much I can do to change it now."

"Even that one might be beyond you." He grinned ruefully as her omni-tool pinged with an urgent message. "Though there's always something else for you to deal with."

The light laugh died abruptly as she brought up the message, the expressionless mask falling back into place almost instantaneously.

_Shepard, we need to talk. – Aria_

_No shit._ She'd known it was only a matter of time until the Asari would run out of patience but in deference to Hackett's orders she'd held back, waiting until the Normandy was repaired and the Alliance ready to let her return to active duty. It seemed that the issue of Omega was no longer going to be ignored.

Kaidan was watching her with a frown creasing his handsome features. "What is it?"

"It seems Aria is tired of waiting."

"Then I'm coming with you." His expression brooked no argument not that she had been planning on disagreeing with him.

It had been a welcome change to not have to worry about what came next while the preparations for the celebrations and awards ceremony had been underway but with those behind her it was time to focus on the loose ends. Directing the taxi towards the space port she wondered whether they should stop by their quarters and grab their armour. Dealing with Aria was never a safe proposition for anyone and even with Kaidan watching her back going in armed with only a pistol and her dress blues seemed a little reckless even for her. Shaking her head she pushed the thought away. She knew that Aria had no loyalty to anyone but herself and could only been called an ally when the situation suited her but for now Aria wanted something from her and there was no way that she was going to jeopardize getting what she wanted by messing with Shepard now.

The Alliance shuttle pilot gave her a sideways look as she gave him the destination but after a start of recognition he simply nodded, immediately requesting clearance before lifting clear of the shuttle bay and guiding the Kodiak into the upper atmosphere. Seated where she was it would be a simple matter to turn on the monitors and observe the beginnings of the repairs on the Citadel or the beauty of Earth moments before the shuttle accelerated to FTL speeds but she didn't. Her mind was running over the options before her as Kaidan sat quietly opposite, a flicker of biotic blue dancing around his fingers. There was no way he would let anything happen to either of them. Even with the return of the Normandy she knew that Aria was going to do whatever it took to get Shepard to help her retake Omega. There had never been a doubt in her mind that she would help the Asari once they had discovered that Petrovsky was using the base to direct Cerberus's actions. But it was a delicate balancing act she needed to play with Aria, giving her what she wanted without revealing too much about her own interest in heading to Omega. If Aria knew too much then she would be able to manipulate the situation to her own advantage and Shepard could not allow that to happen. She also knew that this would not be an easy sell to Hackett and the Alliance. The Admiral understand the necessity of going to Omega and confronting Petrovsky but it was unlikely that he would be willing to have her do so under the banner of the Alliance. At least as a Spectre she would be able to act with relative impunity and keep the Alliance out of it assuming they gave her the Normandy back. With such a fragile peace between all the races and systems within the galaxy she was all too aware of the potential to destroy it should she make a wrong move. Without the threat of the Reapers pulling them all together and allowing her to do what needed to be done she had to be careful not to start a new war with a well-funded and dangerous terrorist group. At least with Aria in command it should be possible to keep the Blue Suns, Eclipse and Bloodpack under control until Omega was retaken.

"Is it really a good idea to get caught up in whatever Aria is planning?" Kaidan finally asked with a frown.

"Probably not but I don't think I have much of a choice."

"Aren't you the one who always says there's another way?"

"Maybe there is but working with Aria is the best way to get to Petrovksy."

"Ok, I get that but after with the Reapers gone, the Illusive Man dead and so much of their infrastructure destroyed are Cerberus really in the position to be a serious threat?"

"At the moment we have no idea of Cerberus's remaining strength. What we do know is that they used to have nearly unlimited funds and a network that would almost put Liara to shame. They also still have the technology that they developed at Sanctuary and you've seen what they do with that."

"Yeah, I still can't believe they could do that to their own people."

"We have to make sure they don't have a chance to do it to anyone else Kaidan."

He held her gaze for a long moment before nodding. "Ok, I'm with you. You know I've always got your back."

Standing she moved forward to speak with the pilot. "Hail the ships and tell them that Commander Shepard is here to speak with Aria T'Loak." The pilot swallowed hard but he managed to keep the waver out of his voice as he relayed the message.

The response was immediate. "Dock with the Treyet." The nasal voice of a Salarian came over the comms. "Tell Commander Shepard that she will be met and escorted to Aria."

"Stay aboard the shuttle but make sure you're ready to leave in a hurry." She advised the pilot as they prepared to land.

Jumping lightly to the ground she approached the small party of Eclipse mercs waiting in the hangar for her with Kaidan a step behind scanning the area for any hints that things weren't what they seemed.

"We were expecting you to come alone Shepard." The Salarian at the head of the group snapped irritably.

"Are we going to have a problem?" Her voice was calm but her tone implied that they really didn't want to make it a problem.

The Salarian blinked worriedly for a moment as he assessed his position. Finally he lifted his chin arrogantly. "That's for Aria to decide. Follow me."

The rest of the mercenaries fell in around them as the Salarian led the way through the ship. It didn't take long for Shepard to get a feel for the layout of the ship, it was one she'd seen copied many times on mercenary and merchant freighters. It was clearly well maintained, though whether that was down to the crew or Aria's desire to not have the ship fall apart around her she had no idea. Even with the state of the ship it was clear to her that there was no way it could hold out against an attack from an Alliance frigate or cruiser. Was this Aria's way of appearing less threatening being within such short range of the Alliance fleets? It was an interesting thought but she doubted the Asari would ever willingly look less powerful than she was. A point which Aria herself proved moments later as they were led into a generously appointed room to find her seated on a plush couch, scanning the contents of a datapad with studied nonchalance. Almost immediately her gaze cut to Shepard as she handed the pad off to one of her lackeys, not even looking to see if there was anyone there, simply assuming that her wishes would be followed immediately.

"Shepard I see you finally decided to grace us with your presence." Her eye flickered over Kaidan dismissively before focussing her gaze on Shepard. "So you're the big hero now. I hope that doesn't mean that you've forgotten our agreement."

"What do you want Aria?"

Irritation twisted the Asari's features as her eyes narrowed dangerously. "You know what I want Shepard. It's time to keep your end of the bargain."

"The deal was that you would help me find the Normandy if I helped you retake Omega. As you probably already know my ship and my crew found their own way back."

"Semantics." She dismissed the thought with an imperious wave of her hand. "I merely said that my ships would help, we didn't say anything about if your crew was able to return on their own."

"With the war over and the fleets home do you really think that the Alliance is going to care about helping a bunch of mercenaries deal with their problems in the Terminus Systems?" Shepard asked with a bland look on her face. She knew she was walking a fine line with Aria but they both knew that Shepard was not someone Aria could simply expect to roll over on her say so.

"My deal was with you Shepard, I couldn't care less what your Alliance decides to do as long as they don't interfere."

Shepard leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she linked her hands together, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Why the sudden urgency Aria? You've been content to wait up until now and yet even though you must know the Normandy is in for repairs you call me up here. Why?"

"I want to get out of this pisshole of a system and take my station back."

"Sorry I don't buy it. Something's happened that's making you push your agenda forward and unless you're straight with me about it you can kiss any help from me goodbye." She gave the Asari a moment to mull over her words before making a move to stand.

"Sit down." Aria commanded though it didn't carry its usual heat. "Cerberus has blockaded the station. They're trying to starve whoever is left on Omega into submission."

"So you want to save your people."

Aria snorted in disdain. "Don't get any ideas Shepard. You're the one that ran back to your precious Alliance the moment you could and wanted to be the defender of the people. I want Cerberus off of _my_ station and I want them to pay for what they did to me. Stopping them before the entire population is dead is simply good business."

"You've got a mercenary fleet at your disposal, what do you need me for?"

"I may have the fleet but your ship can get into places undetected. You've worked with Cerberus, you know their methods and from what I've heard you've been doing your best to wipe them out when they've gotten in your way."

"If I do this you need to give me something in return."

"And what is that?" Aria asked with an arrogant smirk.

"I haven't decided yet."

The Asari's features darkened momentarily. Aria did not like the idea of being indebted to anyone but they both knew that Shepard held the upper hand. "Fine."

"Alright what's your plan?"

An hour later as the door slid closed cocooning them in the relative safety of the shuttle Kaidan gave her a sideways glance. "We need to get to Omega so why piss off Aria?"

"Because Aria holds a lot of sway in the Terminus Systems and having her owe you a favour is a good position to be in."

"She can also be a powerful enemy."

"Aria is definitely dangerous and I don't doubt that she'd sell me out in a heartbeat if it suited her but for the moment she needs our help."

"Well if you say we can trust her on this that's good enough for me."

Shepard snorted. "I never said we could trust her."

Kaidan could only shake his head incredulously as the shuttle sped back to Earth.


	25. Chapter 25

Dawn had barely broken when the call came in. At the sound Shepard shifted reluctantly under the comfortable weight of Kaidan's arm. Groaning he tightened his embrace trying to pull her closer as she propped herself up on an elbow.

Rubbing her eyes she answered. "This is Shepard."

Oriana's excited voice came over the comms. "Commander you need to come to the hospital right now!"

Any tiredness vanished immediately. "What happened?"

"Miri's awake! The doctors are in with her now and she seems fine."

"On my way." Without needing to hear more she wasted no time in throwing on some clothes and hurrying out into the darkness of the early morning.

There was a buzz in the intensive care unit as she was cleared through the doors. A few doctors were consulting their notes and comparing test results as nurses darted between their patients and the nursing station. As she approached the room she could see Oriana standing outside of the doorway giving the medical staff an apologetic smile as Miranda's voice rose in irritation.

"I told you I'm fine, you can stop poking me now." A quiet murmur followed her outburst, presumably the doctor.

"Go on in Commander seeing you might help." Oriana gave her an exasperated look.

As Shepard stepped into the room she found Miranda sitting up in bed, her brow furrowed in annoyance as a doctor spoke gently to her. The look on his face suggested that he'd dealt with difficult patients like her before and that he wasn't going to be intimidated by a pair of angry blue eyes. Miranda huffed out a breath as the doctor left with a tolerant smile and a promise to return later with Dr. Chakwas to run some more tests.

"And you thought I was bad with all the tests you wanted to run on me." She quipped as she moved over to the bed.

The other woman's features cleared as she smiled. "Hey Shepard, wasn't sure if you'd get a chance to come by."

Snorting she gave Miranda a level look. "Come on Miranda, do you reeally think I'm not going to want to show up when you decide to rejoin the land of the living? How are you feeling?"

"Not bad all things considered. Did we manage to stop Cerberus?"

"We destroyed the base on Palaven after you overloaded the last transmitter controlling the husks."

Miranda was quiet for a moment as her sharp eyes searched Shepard's expression. "You found something else." It wasn't a question.

"It can wait until you're fully healed."

"Bullshit. I could get up out of this bed if it wasn't for these damned doctors so you might as well tell me unless you want me to find out another way." Despite the injuries it was clear that Miranda's no-nonsense attitude hadn't taken a hit.

"Kasumi and Liara managed to decrypt some of the information we gathered from the base. There wasn't much to go on but it did give us a name – Oleg Petrovsky."

"Petrovsky?" Miranda repeated the name as she seemed to turn the information over in her mind. "There may have been rumours but I'd need to look in my files. As you know Cerberus kept each cell separate and only the Illusive Man knew who the operatives were."

"I'm surprised you never came across any of the others. The Illusive Man seemed to value you pretty highly during the Lazarus Project, at least until we blew up the Collector base."

She shot Shepard a reproachful look. "You know better than anyone that the Illusive Man never told you more than he thought you needed to know. I was useful to him up to a point so he gave me enough information to keep you alive but not enough that I could tell you about his other operations."

"I guess that secrecy worked for him since we seem to be grasping at straws now."

"What have you found out about him?"

"About the man, pretty much nothing. But we do think that he's the one that managed to take control of Omega away from Aria."

"Then he's probably more dangerous than any of us realize."

Shepard grinned wryly. "The thought had crossed my mind."

"So what do you intend to do?"

"You were there when we made the deal with Aria. Cerberus is blockading Omega to try and force the residents into submission. We're going to stop them before they succeed."

Miranda pulled a face. "That sounds far too noble for Aria."

"Well she didn't put it quite that way. She's more interested in having a profitable empire to return to."

"Assuming the merc groups don't try to turn on her as soon as Cerberus is dealt with. They did try to oust her once before."

"Well that'll be Aria's problem to deal with, I'm just after Petrovsky."

"I don't imagine Hackett is going to be thrilled with you taking the best known Alliance ship back into the Terminus Systems." Sometimes the woman was too smart for her own good.

"I haven't worked out all the details with him yet but he knows we need to deal with Aria."

"You'll sort it out Shepard. You always do."

She chuckled. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'll be coming with you."

Giving a disbelieving shake of her head she reached out to grip the other woman's hand. "Miranda you've been through enough already. The last mission almost killed you so it's ok to sit this one out."

"Shepard, I…"

Standing she cut Miranda off. "Focus on getting better. You might think you're ready to jump back into action but your body took a real beating. Even with your genetics it will take time to get back to full strength. I'll come back to see you later."

She decided to ignore the stubborn look on Miranda's face as she stepped out of the room to where Oriana waited expectantly.

"Thank you for coming Commander I know it means a lot to my sister."

"You're going to have a tough time trying to get her to take it easy so that she heals properly."

A sly smile crossed the other woman's features. "Oh I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. Miri likes to forget that I'm just as smart as she is."

"Let me know if either of you need anything ok?" She replied laughing as Oriana waved goodbye and slipped into her sister's hospital room.

Walking out of the ward and back towards the entrance she was surprised to see Jack leaning negligently against the wall. As she approached the biotic nodded in greeting, straightening from her position.

"Hey Shepard, it's been a while."

"Good to see you Jack."

"How's the cheerleader?"

Shoving her hands into her pockets Jack fell into step beside her as Shepard raised an amused eyebrow but the other woman merely shrugged. "She'll be fine as long as she takes it easy for a few weeks."

"Good luck with that." Jack retorted with a bark of laughter. "So I'm hearing some rumours that you're teaming up with Aria to take back Omega."

"And here I thought it was supposed to be classified information." She replied drily.

"Well you know me I keep my ears open. It probably helps that I bumped into Kasumi a couple of days ago and she mentioned what had gone down with the Turians. Sounds like you handled some heavy shit. Almost makes me wish I'd joined up."

"Almost?"

"It's been pretty good you know. I'm proud of my guys, they're even helping to train some of the new students."

"Glad to hear it. You know Kaidan is taking over as head of Biotics Division again, it might be worth talking to him about some of your promising candidates."

Jack gave her a surprised look. "Yeah I might do that thanks Shepard. Heard you and the Alliance poster boy have been getting pretty serious since you got back. Don't tell me you're going to get married and all that domestic shit?"

Momentarily taken aback by the question Shepard blinked in surprise. "Can't say we've talked about it."

"You're such a sap." Jack snorted with a shake of her head. "So are you actually going to do it?"

"You mean help Aria? Once the Normandy is space worthy again I'll be forming a team and heading out there."

Jack bit out a curse. "Any idea who you're dragging along this time?"

"Zaeed knows Omega pretty well but I haven't spoken to him yet."

"He'll take any excuse if it means sticking it to the Blue Suns."

"Yeah well this time they're supposed to be on our side." Shepard reminded her.

"I know but if you add Aria and Cerberus to the situation on Omega…. Shit Shepard that's going to be one hell of a mess. I hope you know what you're doing."

"Are you worried about me Jack?"

The biotic pulled a face punching her lightly in the arm. "Screw you."

"I'll make sure to watch my back though I could always use you on my team."

Another shrug. "Could be fun." Jack stopped and turned to face her looking surprisingly stern. "Seriously though Shepard some of us have kind of gotten used to having you around so don't fuck up!" Shifting uncomfortably as if afraid she'd revealed too much Jack spun on her heel and stalked off leaving Shepard to stare after her in surprise.

* * *

Jack's words were still with her as she stood facing Admiral Hackett later that day.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like this situation and I don't imagine you do either." Hackett frowned as he tapped a finger on her report.

"I've had dealings with Aria before."

"Yes when you weren't representing the Alliance or gathering support for the war effort." He paused and she could almost see his mind working things through. "We both know that this is a threat that needs to be dealt with and that you are the best person to do it. But Shepard this can't be seen as being sanctioned by the Alliance."

"Bringing a fleet into the Terminus Systems could be seen as an act of war from the Alliance or an indication that we're looking to expand our control to the system." She stated flatly, seeing too clearly where this conversation was going having had the same debate in her head. It was far too reminiscent of the discussion she'd had with the Council when they'd been trying to stop the Collectors.

"Exactly." He nodded in approval at her grasp of the situation. "Most races are busy looking to their own and trying to rebuild but the peace is still fragile. The last thing we need to be accused of is capitalizing on your success and reputation to expand humanity's influence in a notoriously unstable region."

"So how do we handle this?"

"You'll be acting under your own authority without official sanction from either the Alliance or the Council. The Normandy will remain under your command once the repairs are complete but you'll have to run a skeleton crew to keep the Alliance presence to a minimum. This means I can't authorize a detachment of Marines to be stationed on board so you're on your own but I'm sure you can call on some of your other contacts to help you deal with the situation. That's the best we can do to avoid setting off another conflict that no one is ready for." Clasping his hands behind his back he fixed her with a stern look. "It would be best that Major Alenko remain on Earth. Having the only two human Spectres working with Aria T'Loak to take back Omega could cause unnecessary problems for the Council."

"I think he'll have something to say about that."

"I'm sure he will but we need to look at the bigger picture."

Kaidan was not going to like that at all but she knew Hackett's implacable expression well. She had her orders. "I understand Sir."

"Thank you Commander. There's something else we need to discuss." Hackett's face creased in a frown, the scar across his cheek prominent in the harsh light. "The Leviathans may have helped us to defeat the Reapers but they made it very clear that they were not doing it to help what they referred to as _lesser species_. From what I understand from your report is that up until now they've kept themselves hidden scattered around the galaxy in an effort to preserve their species and stop their complete annihilation at the hands of the Reapers. Now that the Reapers have been defeated they no longer pose a threat to the Leviathans."

"Which means they no longer have to hide." Shepard's expression was grim as she caught on to Hackett's point.

"They have already proven that they are able to enthral people over vast distances and maintain that control for years. By their own admission they consider themselves the ultimate apex species and that their society was based on the servitude of other sentient races." The possibilities were chilling. "What's to say that with the Reapers gone the Leviathans won't try to re-establish their own dominance over the galaxy? I don't need to tell you Commander that we don't have the resources available to fight another galactic war, let alone against a species even more powerful than the Reapers."

"The last time I spoke to the Leviathan it almost trapped me within its mind. It was only the fact that I had defeated Sovereign and was considered a threat by Harbinger that stopped that from happening."

"That in itself is a cause for concern. You've had more contact with the Reapers themselves than anyone other than Saren and the Illusive Man. You interacted directly with both Sovereign and Harbinger and despite the Reapers' best efforts they never managed to gain control over your mind. The fact that this Leviathan was able to take control so easily does not bode well for the rest of us. This makes it all the more important that we understand their intentions before it's too late."

Shepard was quiet for a long moment as she mulled over the possibilities in her head. The consequences were almost beyond imagining but if the Leviathans did decide to emerge from hiding there was very little they could do to stop them. "We need to send out search teams to track down any remaining artefacts and destroy them."

The frown deepened as Hackett pondered her words. "Right now we don't know what benefits can be gained from studying these artefacts but we can't allow this information to finds its way into the public domain. I admit that Dr. Bryson's experience made it clear that we need to take precautions but with the shielding in place it should be possible to study the technology safely."

"No offense sir but that sounds awfully similar to what the Asari said about that Prothean beacon they were hiding in the temple on Thessia."

"This is different Commander, that beacon could have helped us unlock vital information to stop the Reapers far earlier than we did. We could have saved millions of lives!"

"So what if the same ends up being true of the Leviathan artefacts?"

"We can't know what potential is locked in that technology but what we do know is that they're used to keep an eye on all of us and take control when the Leviathans deem it necessary. Can you imagine what would happen if we reveal the existence of these artefacts to the galaxy? The other races would rush to try and find them and potentially put themselves at the mercy of beings we have no hope of understanding. Not to mention that if the Leviathans start feeling threatened – because we all know that an attempt would be made to try and find them – and they decide to act to protect themselves. Is that a risk you're willing to take Commander?"

"No but I've seen first-hand what hiding that kind of crucial information can lead to Sir. It almost destroyed all of us and now you're asking me to stand by while we do it again?"

"You work for the Alliance Shepard. Don't forget that." Hackett's tone was cold with warning.

"I never did, even if the Alliance seemed to for a while." She shot back before snapping her mouth shut worried she'd crossed the line. Changing tact she adopted a more conciliatory tone. "You're right that releasing that kind of information to the public would be dangerous but equally if we ignore it or try to keep that information to ourselves we are also putting ourselves and our allies at risk. As you said we don't know what they're planning and I don't think we should go looking for a fight with them. However I think we need to speak to the Council and bring the best minds together to work on the problem just like we did with the Crucible."

He mulled the idea over before finally conceding. "You make a good point. If the war taught us anything it was that we are stronger together. This is something that could threaten all of us but if we do this we'd have to ensure that no one aside from those directly involved are aware of the project and its significance."

"Agreed. Has anyone been up to the Citadel to see whether the artefact in Dr. Bryson's lab is still there and intact? I'm not sure the shielding could have held up during that blast."

"No up until now the priority has been tracking down any survivors and planning the reconstruction of the Citadel." His gaze turned speculative. "Have you been back up there since you activated the Crucible?"

"No Sir." She didn't feel the need to elaborate but from the shrewd look he gave her she imagined he probably already understood the reasons.

"Deal with Aria first but then I want you to go up there and track down what happened to that artefact. Being the only person who's dealt with both the artefacts and the Leviathans I think it's best if you take charge of its recovery." He paused, his voice gentling. "I can only imagine the things that you saw up there and those memories will never go away. But you have to go back up there Shepard because that's the only way that they'll stop haunting you."

Swallowing hard she found herself momentarily lost for words before she stiffened her spine. "Yes Sir and... thank you."

He gave her an understanding nod. "Dismissed."

* * *

The Normandy looked as good as new. The repairs to the hull had been completed and it was clear she bore a fresh coat of paint from the way she gleamed. The work on the interior was almost done and the areas that had not been finished when Joker had piloted them away from Earth during the invasion had finally been put right. It would only be a matter of days now until the ship was handed back to her and she could gather her team for the mission to Omega. But before that happened Shepard knew that she had to speak with EDI about what had happened on the Citadel and honest about the choice that she'd made before the Crucible had fired. It wasn't that she had been avoiding the AI; their interactions had been the same as they'd ever been. However in her heart Shepard still harboured guilt over her decision. She was still convinced that she had made the only choice that would secure the freedom of the galaxy from the threat of the Reapers but in doing she had willingly chosen to destroy her allies and sacrificed a friend in EDI, or so she'd thought at the time. After she'd woken in the London hospital her relief at learning that Geth had survived had been palpable and it had instilled hope within her that EDI might have survived the destructive blast. She owed it to EDI now to be honest.

The familiar metal footsteps sounded behind her where she waited in front of the CIC. Turning she came face to face with a smiling EDI.

"It is good to see you Shepard though I do not understand why you would request the presence of this platform when you are on the ship and can speak to me directly."

"I just wanted to talk face to face so to speak." Like the rest of the crew Shepard had gotten used to thinking of the cybernetic body as EDI even though she was housed and integrated with the Normandy.

"Then how may I be of assistance?"

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened on the Citadel."

"Oh, I see. While I admit I am curious as to what happened as there is very little data about it I think it wise to inform you that Major Alenko was very concerned about discussing the matter with you."

The corner of her mouth kicked up in a half-grin. "I've already spoken to Kaidan about it but I think you deserve to know too."

EDI blinked in confusion. "I do not understand."

Taking a deep breath she launched into the story starting at what happened after the push to the beam. She skipped no details explaining what she'd found and about the showdown with the Illusive Man. The AI's curiosity seemed to peak when she revealed the existence of the VI that was part of the Citadel. "There wasn't time to argue with him, to try and prove the flaws in his logic because I could see our people dying out there as they tried to fight and stop the Reapers. I made the choice to destroy them…. Even though I knew it would kill you and the Geth. I wanted you to know that I'm sorry but that I made the only decision I thought I could."

"It was the right choice Shepard." EDI reassured her without hesitation. "Do you remember our last conversation in London? I told you that it had been thanks to you that I finally felt alive. It also meant that I had been willing to sacrifice my core processes to stop the Reapers. It appears that the VI controlling the Reapers was providing you with false data. It….. lied. I have run an analysis on the energy wave released by the Crucible and it was specifically tailored to disable synthetics with Reaper code fragments."

"But both you and the Geth have those same fragments within you, that's why Legion had to sacrifice himself for the Collective. So if what you're saying is true the blast should have taken you out."

"That is incorrect. While both the Geth and I had parts of their code installed we were not directly linked to the Reapers at the time of the explosion. Even if we had been your actions made us self-determining and gave the Geth true intelligence. This allowed them to change the code to better suit their needs and made it unrecognizable to the Crucible. The same is true for myself. When Jeff unshackled me and allowed me to fully integrate with the Normandy I was no longer bound by the restrictions which had made it impossible for me to become fully self-aware. I was given the chance to question and make decisions for myself. You did not impose new rules upon me and instead encouraged me to think for myself and follow a morality that I had decided upon. Thanks to this my code has been permanently altered beyond anything the Catalyst could have understood. It makes me unique. That is why the energy wave from the Crucible did not harm me."

"I'm glad. I didn't want to lose you EDI. AI or not you're still an important part of my crew and a friend."

"Thank you for telling me Shepard. If the communications to you hadn't been blocked then you would have known that the explosion would not have affected myself or the Geth. However you made the only decision that you could. Despite the VI's claims it would not have been possible to control the Reapers. Saren and the Illusive Man both tried believing they could bring an end to the threat that they posed but they were wrong."

"And synthesis would have forced my decision on an entire galaxy."

"Thus negating the self-determining nature of each species." EDI finished with a pleased nod.

Allowing herself to relax slightly she smiled at the AI. "I'm glad we talked. Thanks EDI."

"Of course Shepard. Can I help you with anything else?"

"Have there been any issues getting the Normandy back into fighting shape?"

EDI cocked her head. "The repairs have been proceeding as expected. The engineering team are waiting on a couple of replacement parts and then I can begin running diagnostic tests on all of the ship's systems to ensure that we will be able to operate at optimum performance."

"I have faith in you EDI, I know you'll have the Normandy at her best."

"Will the crew be returning to duty when we head to the Terminus Systems?"

"I don't know yet but the offer to continue serving on the Normandy will be there but whether they choose to accept depends on them."

"If possible could you request that Engineers Adams, Donnelly and Daniels remain assigned to the Normandy?"

Shepard cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "You have a preference?"

"Yes, I find that I have formed a good relationship with them during their time on the Normandy. I feel that having other engineers unfamiliar with the ship's systems and my unique nature would be detrimental to the effectiveness of the ship and crew."

"Noted." She said biting back a wry grin. "Don't worry EDI I think they will jump at the chance to continue serving aboard the Normandy."

EDI smiled happily as Shepard gestured towards the airlock. "Come on EDI let's get going. I think we're going to be spending enough time on the ship soon enough so let's make the most of our time on Earth before we go."

* * *

Kaidan dragged a hand through his hair as he slowed to a walk. Running late was not part of his plans for the evening and being held up at Alliance Command had shaken the calm he'd been trying to hold onto. Struggling to gather the frayed edges of his nerve he took a deep breath as he caught sight of Shepard waiting for him. Half-turned away from him she looked deep in thought, barely paying attention to the bustle of the city around her. In that moment she seemed so far away even though she was within reach but he recognized the look on her face. Shepard was turning information over in her mind, working on a puzzle she had yet to solve.

"Hey." Her expression cleared instantly as she turned and focused her gaze on him. Some of the nervousness that he'd been carrying eased and he swore his heart skipped a beat as an unguarded smile bloomed. "You look preoccupied."

She gave a half-shrug. "It's nothing I can't handle."

"That covers pretty much everything." She grinned at his wry look. "Come on I got us a reservation at a great little place down by the water."

As they walked she told him about her talk with EDI and the relief she felt was clear to see. He'd hoped that once they'd returned to Earth they would be able to take some shore leave to spend together but he should have known that the Alliance would not let their most famous soldier step out of the limelight at such a volatile time. It didn't seem to matter to them that she still carried the burden they'd thrust upon her shoulders and only he knew about the nightmares that still plagued her from time to time though she tried her best to brush their significance aside. Only he had seen the bleakness in her expression as she'd told him about the other cities she'd visited, the horror of what the war had wrought upon their world vividly clear in her mind. She hid it all behind the mask that everyone expected to see because she was Commander Shepard and for now that was what the galaxy needed her to be.

It might have seemed like a small thing to most people but being able to come back to the apartment they shared and seeing her almost every evening had brought him a huge sense of peace. Onboard the Normandy she had become solemn and withdrawn, focussed on the mission and unable to let go of the guilt whenever they were too late to save another colony or outpost. Since he'd moved into her apartment they'd found a freedom they'd never had on the Normandy. Without a crew waiting for orders or constant reports flowing in for her attention Shepard had finally had a chance to relax and that smile she reserved just for him came more often. He'd always known that it was inevitable that she would return to active duty but with the repairs to the Normandy almost complete he'd felt a measure of concern creep into his heart. Both of them knew there was still too much for them to do before they were ready to walk away from the Alliance but he couldn't stop himself from wondering what their lives would be like once they were no longer able to serve on the Normandy together. The thought reminded him how important tonight was as they sat at the table and the nerves came back in force.

* * *

"It's beautiful out here." She breathed as she wrapped an arm around his waist and tucked her head against his shoulder, his arm coming up automatically to hold her close.

"I knew you'd like it." He sounded ridiculously pleased and she couldn't help but smile.

Her Kaidan was a man of contradictions, meticulous in his thoughts and actions, so worried about losing control and yet pleased by something as simple as looking out over the bay with her. She wouldn't change him for the world. Wrapped in the comfort of each other's arms they stood appreciating the serenity around them, something that had been sadly lacking for too many years in their relationship. Looking up at the cloudless sky her eyes followed the blinking stars admiring their beauty but unable to pinpoint all of the ones they'd seen in their race to unite the galaxy. Somewhere amongst them was Eden Prime and while that mission had been the start of a nightmare she would always be grateful for the fact that it had brought them together. They had been shipmates for a few weeks before that mission but her mind had been preoccupied and focussed on the preparations for the shakedown run of their prototype warship. A lot had been riding on the success of the Normandy's maiden flight and yet she had found it strange to have been assigned to the ship on such a straight forward operation but had simply put it down to Anderson putting in a request. Her responsibilities had come first and that combined with her reputation had meant she hadn't gotten to know any of the crew particularly well until after she'd gotten knocked out by the beacon and everything had changed. She would never forget the look on Kaidan's face when she'd finally come to. He'd been worried, kicking himself for his actions and that had given her the first glimpse at the man he was. Shifting closer to him she breathed in the scent that was his alone and felt truly at peace for the first time in a long time. Whatever had happened between them before – Virmire, Horizon and Mars - that was all behind them and it had made them stronger.

"You were right all those years ago." Her voice was quiet as they looked out over the water together. "Everything else in the galaxy will come around again but not us. I think it's been too easy to lose sight of how important that is."

Kaidan's expression was serious as he turned to face her. "With everything that's been going on it seems like we've had surprisingly little time to just stop and catch up let alone figure out what we want to do with our future." He paused as if suddenly unsure. "Assuming you still want a future with me?"

With a tender smile she reached out to stroke the greying hair at his temples. "After everything we've been through together can you really doubt that?"

The corner of his mouth kicked up slightly. "Well you know…"

"You always leave a way out." She finished with a rueful grin.

"No that used to be true but now…." The sudden intensity in his gaze made the breath catch in her throat. "For all my talk I never had a way out with you. Everything about you captivated me and when I thought I'd lost you it almost killed me. Then I saw you again and I pushed you away letting anger and mistrust get between us. But when I finally got my head on straight you didn't hesitate, you'd been waiting for me the whole time." He shook his head as if still in disbelief.

"Kaidan..." she began but he stopped her before she could finish.

"Do you remember the miners we rescued on Mahavid while we were looking for Leviathan? Those people lost ten years of their lives and they didn't even know it. I couldn't stop thinking of all the things they'd missed while they were indoctrinated, all that time that they'll never get back. It made me realize that it had been the same for you when you'd woken up in that Cerberus base."

"At least I didn't lose that long. But after that mission I remember you saying that we had to make sure that we never let time just slip away from us like that."

"Yeah and you then proceeded to jump into the ocean in a mech to find a Reaper killer." He winced at the memory. "The point is with us fighting the Reapers winning the war was the priority and while we took what time we could it wasn't really the right time to worry about personal relationships."

"In some ways it was the best time."

"Maybe but now we're both here and there's still so much to do around us, so many people that still need help. We might not be fighting the Reapers anymore but it's still going to be a battle to get humanity back on its feet. Soon you're going to be back on the Normandy and now that I've been reassigned I guess I'm worried that we're going to let other things get in the way of what's really important – us. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to look back in ten years and realize how much we've missed because I was trying to play it safe." Steadying himself with a deep breath he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring and held it out to her between his thumb and forefinger. "I love you and I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you."

"Are you proposing Major?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

He huffed out a laugh. "If you have to ask I'm clearly not doing it right. Marry me Shepard."

"Yes." She said simply with that dazzling smile that was reserved solely for him.

With a whoop he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off of her feet, taking her breath away with a kiss that made her tingle all the way to her toes. Grinning up at her with undisguised joy he repeated the words he'd said to her so long ago on the Normandy. "I'm the luckiest man alive." Kissing her again he put her gently back on her feet to slide the ring onto her finger. A row of diamonds were set into the slim band and admiring it she realized he'd chosen the design specifically so that she could wear it under her armour without catching.

"I love you Kaidan." Wrapping her arms around his neck she drew him down for another kiss as all other thoughts fled from her mind, wanting to cherish this moment for the rest of her life. Whatever the future held for them, the joys or the hardships, nothing would ever be able to take this moment away from them.


	26. Chapter 26

"Come on Vega move your ass." She muttered under her breath as she glanced over at the dour faced man watching the team's movements on the monitors. Admiral Derek Kazalov might have a reputation of being a hard ass but she knew he always treated the candidates fairly. As the head of the Interplanetary Combatives Academy she didn't know whether to attribute his presence here to a lack of training officers or to a specific need to speak with her. Up until now he hadn't seemed inclined to enlighten her either way. The news that the Alliance was going ahead with the N-School programs had taken her by surprise. The Academy facilities in Rio had been badly damaged and even though the Villa would be up and running again in a few months they had decided to set up a temporary training area in Vancouver. While she hadn't understood the urgency it had given Vega the chance to start his N7 course. He might not have gotten his wish to keep her as a training officer but he'd understood the need for there to be no appearance of favouritism amongst the candidates. So it had been unexpected when she'd received a request from the Academy to come in and evaluate the trainees. The training was already underway when she'd arrived and aside from appraising the group's performance she wasn't entirely sure why she had been asked to come.

Down below in the training simulator Vega was completing the objectives but slower than she would have expected from him. They'd been running the trainees through combat scenarios for almost 7 hours but it didn't seem like it was exhaustion weighing him down. Instead it looked as if he simply didn't have his head in the game which worried her considering these were merely the beginning sessions of the program. For the moment it seemed as if it had gone unnoticed by the Admiral but she knew James well enough to know that something was off.

Kazalov finally broke the silence. "Ahern spoke about you. Not long after you were on Pinnacle Station he told me that you were the best he'd ever seen."

"He was a good man."

"Yes he was but that's not why I asked you to come down here today Commander." He motioned to the monitors. "Your boy is doing pretty well down there but doesn't seem completely focussed on the objectives."

Shepard mentally winced. She should have known that it wouldn't escape Kozalov's sharp eyes. "Lieutenant Vega is a skilled soldier and was instrumental in helping me defeat the Reapers."

"Of that I have no doubt though the fact that you would vouch for him speaks highly of the man. Don't worry Commander I am not here in an attempt to sabotage his chances of completing the program – quite the opposite in fact."

"What do you mean?"

"Lieutenant Vega has the ability to become a top Special Forces operative but it seems as though he's letting something hold him back. I wondered whether you would know anything about that."

She frowned thoughtfully. "Can't say that I do Admiral."

"I have a theory if you'll humour me. I think it might be you Shepard." At her surprised look he elaborated. "He has been under your command for some time now and those experiences combined with his respect for you would make living up to your standard nigh on impossible."

"That isn't the point of the N7 program."

"You are quite correct however we each bring our history and experiences to the course. They shape us – how we fight, strategize, view the battlefield and ultimately make the hard choices. Lieutenant Vega sees you as a mentor, a friend and a role model much like Admiral Anderson was for you I believe?" At her nod he continued. "He values your opinion highly so I thought that perhaps you could help him refocus on the program. You've been through the training so you know that this is a cake walk compared to what he's going to face next. He has incredible potential but in order to make the most of it he needs to look beyond serving on the Normandy – beyond you."

Glancing down at the monitors she felt a momentary pang of regret at the reminder that everything was changing but she knew what she had to do. "When they've completed this scenario keep them on the range. I have an idea."

The team was breathing hard as the scenario ended with a couple of them collapsing to the ground to rest. Sweat beaded Vega's brow but he stood at ease holding his assault rifle loosely in his hand as he tried to work some of the kinks out of his neck. The sound of the doors to the simulation range opening drew his attention and his brow furrowed in surprised seeing a fully armoured unit march into the area with their weapons drawn. Even through her helmet's visor she could see the moment Vega's gaze fell on her familiar armour and awareness flooded his features. Without giving him a chance to question she raised her closed fist bringing the unit to a halt. Shocked looks and whispers passed between the candidates as they too recognized the iconic armour and realized who they were facing.

As Shepard and her unit raised their weapons Kozalov's voice came over the PA system. "Starting live fire exercise in 3….. 2…. 1."

"Prepare yourselves!" Her order rang out with unmistakable authority.

Understanding dawned on the trainee's faces and they scrambled to their feet, diving for cover as the instructors took aim. Vega seemed to freeze for a moment, his mouth doing an admirable impression of a gaping fish until she got his attention by taking out his shields with a well-placed shot. That galvanized him into action and she gave him a moment to retreat and start barking orders to his team before she began advancing with her unit. The objective was to force him to act and right now she'd pushed him onto the defensive. Candidates in the N7 program were told to expect anything, to be prepared for whatever situation was thrown at them and adapt. The sheer difficulty of what was asked of them was too much for most candidates but she knew Vega had it in him to succeed. He would be off-balance facing her and his confusion might lead to him making a mistake. A live fire exercise increased the risk that participants could get hurt and added the pressure on him to keep his team safe.

The men following her consisted of some of the program's top training officers who knew every inch of the simulator range. Moving forward with quiet precision they communicated using only hand signals to help keep the candidates unbalanced. They moved silently through the terrain, each a highly skilled veteran of more conflicts than any of them would want to remember. Realistically the odds that the candidates would successfully complete the scenario when faced with the combined experience of Shepard and the instructors were almost non-existent but that was not the point of this exercise. It was a hard lesson they couldn't afford to forget that real combat was merciless, cruel and unforgiving. Soldiers that allowed emotion to cloud their judgement were prone to act rashly and more often than not found themselves dead as a result. You were taught to trust your instincts and your fellow soldiers but that would not prepare you if the day came that your comrade became your enemy. Each candidate had been selected for their abilities and combat experience and as Shepard's team put pressure on them their training began to kick in. They started to counter, attempting a number of flanking manoeuvers only to have them turned back by the training officers. Some of the candidates were cocky, believing themselves supremely qualified to ace the program but the instructors didn't care a whit about that. The course was specifically designed to be gruelling and to push candidates to their breaking point. It was so extreme that very few ever successfully qualified for the coveted N7 ranking. These trainees would learn that the hard way.

Finally with a few sharp gestures Shepard's unit surrounded the students bringing an end to the scenario. Holstering her rifle Shepard reached up to remove her helmet, taking in the mutterings of frustration and annoyance the trainees shared. The sideways glances and looks of awe didn't go unnoticed either but she wasn't in the mood to entertain them. Instead she gave a nod to the lead training officer who promptly barked out orders for the candidates to double time it to the armoury before being debriefed. Frowning Vega looked ready to say something before shaking his head and turning to leave the simulator but she had gotten his attention. She'd give him a few moments to stew it over as she made her way up to one of the smaller briefing rooms. Dumping her helmet on the table she dragged off her gauntlets with a sense of relief. The armour was as familiar to her as her own skin but that didn't mean she was ready to suit up and go off planet to throw herself into the thick of battle again just yet.

Frustration was stamped across Vega's features when he finally stomped into the room. The other candidates had already swapped their armour for BDUs and left to get some much needed rest but at Shepard's request Vega had been told to come here instead so that she would have a chance to talk to him on his own. Shifting her weight onto her back foot Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and fixed him with an expectant look.

"Damn Commander you don't pull your punches do you?" He grumbled as he closed the door behind him.

"Tough day Vega?"

He sagged into one of the chairs tiredly. "Yeah you could say that. Wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"I caught your combat scenario earlier. It seemed like you needed the push."

He stiffened defensively. "Hey I've handled everything these guys have thrown at me so far."

"Come on James we both know your head wasn't in it. I know what you're capable of and that wasn't it."

"Well I can't say I was expecting my CO to show up and start firing at me."

She arched an eyebrow. "You're too good a soldier to let something like that throw you but it did so what's going on?"

James swore under his breath. "It's not what I expected you know?"

"You knew it was a big commitment." She reminded him gently as she moved to rest her hip on the edge of the table.

"I can handle that. It's just," Breaking off he shook his head. "I guess I don't really know what I was expecting after all this was over. All this training they're putting us through just seems so…. I don't know."

"Come on talk to me James."

"We've been through some serious shit but you got us through it – you got all of us through it." He finally blurted. "Nothing stopped you from doing what needed to be done. You didn't hesitate in making the hard choices. I don't know if I can do that."

"Those choices are never easy and you carry the consequences of those decisions with you every day. What matters is knowing that you did the best you could in the situation you were in."

"Yeah you're right. Maybe after facing down the Reapers this all just feels too ordinary."

Her lips twitched but she bit back the smile. "I think what we went through was enough to last us a lifetime. You're a good man and a hell of a soldier. "She held his gaze trying to convey her faith in him. "We've been through a hell of a lot worse than this and part of the program is to make you face the things that you fear, to force you to put it behind you and move on. There's no shame in failing the N7 course but you and I both know you've got what it takes. You've got this James."

"Thanks Shepard. I guess I won't be joining you on the Normandy when you go to Omega huh?"

"Not this time. Hackett wants to keep the Alliance presence to a minimum."

He frowned. "That means the Major isn't going either. So who's going to have your back?"

"I've got some people I can call on."

"Can't say I like the sound of that Commander."

"It'll be fine. You just worry about finishing the program and getting that N7 accreditation." She gave him a reassuring look only to realize he'd stopped listening to her, his gaze locked on her hands.

"Holy shit Lola is that what I think it is?" His eyes were round with surprise as he stared at the ring on her finger. "The Major actually _proposed_?"

Suddenly self-conscious she caught herself before she started grinning like an idiot. "Yes he did."

"He's got bigger _cojones_ than I thought." Vega shook his head in amazement. "You know I never figured you for the marrying kind Shepard but I'm happy for you." At her sudden perplexed look he gave an uncomfortable shrug. "I'm just saying. Your priority was always the mission and getting the job done but you were just waiting for the right guy huh? I guess the Major will be a good enough distraction until you find him." He teased, laughing as she punched his arm lightly.

"Alright laugh it up Vega but I should go. Are you going to be alright?"

"Have a little faith Lola!" He gave her an unrepentant grin. "Besides this way you know exactly where to find me if you ever want to dance with a real man."

"Uh huh and that _real_ man is all talk." She retorted as she stood to leave.

Sobering quickly he stood and saluted. For all his jokes she knew how much this opportunity meant and that he appreciated her support. "I'll make you proud Commander."

* * *

It was a little after midday when Kaidan finished his session with the new group of candidates hoping to join Biotics Division. The training facility was strangely quiet though that could be put down to the Academy taking over the majority of the building for their N programs. As he walked past one of the supposedly empty training rooms he found the door slightly ajar. To his surprise Miranda stood in the centre of the room wreathed in blue as she used her biotics to slam a target against the wall. He'd had very little contact with her even though she and Shepard were clearly close but she'd never struck him as the type of person to have the patience to be an instructor. It took him a moment to realize that she was training herself and her presence there suddenly made complete sense. After his near death experience on Mars it had taken him a while to find his balance again and for his biotics to settle down. He could only imagine that the same was true for Miranda but the way she was using her powers made it seem as if she were venting her frustration rather than simply training. She didn't acknowledge him as he stepped into the room but continued to lift and throw the targets across the room. Suddenly in a burst of anger she lost control and one of the targets came hurtling towards him. A flare of his biotics sent it sailing harmlessly to the side. Embarrassment flickered across her features as it clattered to the ground but it faded in the heat of her anger.

"Are you ok?"

Her gaze shuttered and her chin lifted proudly. "I'm fine."

_Prickly woman._ He thought to himself wondering once again how she and Shepard had become such good friends. "If you say so but you were throwing those targets around with the kind of control I expect to see from a rookie. Now since Shepard has told me in great detail what a talented biotic you are that makes me think there's something wrong." At Shepard's name Miranda's hissed out a breath of frustration. "Did something happen between you and Shepard?"

"No." She snapped out before her eyes narrowed on him, her expression turning thoughtful. "She hasn't told you has she?"

"Told me what?"

Miranda threw up her hands with a bitter laugh talking half to herself. "Bloody woman still thinks she can take on everything on her own."

Worry was beginning to creep into his mind and his tone was much sharper when he spoke. "What are you talking about?"

"I should be on the Normandy when she heads out to Omega."

"Why now? You've just gotten out of hospital."

Miranda shot him a dirty look. "She's going after Cerberus." Nonplussed he gave her a confused look until she sighed in exasperation. "At the moment Cerberus is blockading Omega but Petrovsky isn't stupid enough to think that Aria isn't going to try and take it back."

"And it's no secret that Aria and Shepard have worked together." He finished.

"Exactly so he's not going to be sitting there waiting for Shepard to show up. If he's halfway smart he's going to be hiding in the one place where even Shepard would think twice about following him."

His heart sank in horror as realization dawned. "Cerberus has bases on the other side of the Omega-4 relay. That's how they salvaged the Proto Reaper. Have you spoken to Shepard about this?"

"She knows." The words were laced with frustrated anger. Staggered his mind spun as the pieces began falling into place. Ever since she'd received news that the repairs on the Normandy were complete she'd started becoming withdrawn, the woman he loved hiding behind the professional mask she wore too easily. He'd brushed it off as simply her way of preparing for a mission as he'd seen her do so many times in the past. Anger bubbled up at the knowledge that she hadn't told him, hadn't shared with him the enormity of what they might be facing until Miranda's next words hit him like ice water. "You do know you're not going to be on the Normandy when she leaves? Hackett gave her strict orders to keep the Alliance presence to a minimum."

"She told you that?"

"No it appears that Shepard's been keeping her cards pretty close to her chest on this one. Vega told me and he's as unhappy with the situation as I am. She knows what she's facing but she's determined to beat the odds and get to Petrovsky."

Kaidan swore under his breath. "And what if she can't beat them this time?"

"Oh she will." Miranda gave him an arch look as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Shepard doesn't know how to fail."

"That doesn't mean that she can't and if you were so sure you wouldn't be in here blasting training targets."

"I have complete faith in Shepard's abilities to get the job done. What I don't like is that she's going without the best people to watch her back."

"So what if you're wrong?"

"I'm never wrong. I thought Shepard would have told you that."

"It seems like there are a lot of things she hasn't told me." He snapped, turning on his heel he stormed out of the training room, desperation and anger clawing at him. He couldn't lose her again.

Shepard's footlocker was already packed and waiting by the door for collection when he got back to their apartment. A quick glance through the open door of their bedroom showed that her personal effects had been packed away ready for the move to her quarters on the Normandy. He found her standing in the living room, her back military straight as she read the data pad in her hand. Looking up her greeting died in her throat as she caught the expression on his face.

* * *

Kaidan was angry. It was clear in every line of his body even if his expression hadn't given it away. She didn't need to be as smart as Liara to figure out what had triggered it either.

"When were you going to tell me?" His jaw clenched as he tried to keep his voice measured and calm.

"Once I'd had the last briefing with Hackett and a final decision had been made."

"Did you not think that this was something we should talk about? Hell I get that Hackett doesn't want it to look like the Alliance is stirring up trouble in the system but this is crazy."

The slightest tightening around her eyes betrayed her. "You spoke to Miranda."

"You should have been the one to tell me."

"Kaidan you know why this mission is important."

"Yeah I know that you need to deal with Aria but what I don't understand is why getting Petrovsky is so damned important that you'll risk everything to get him."

"You saw what Cerberus did on Sanctuary – on Palaven!" She retorted hotly. "Are we just supposed to forget about that?"

He dragged a hand through his hair in exasperation. "No that's not what I'm saying but there has to be another way. You're going to get yourself killed!"

"This time we know what we're facing."

His eyes bore into hers, desperate for her to understand and wishing she could walk away from this mission. "Do you? There's no way of knowing what Cerberus has set up on the other side of the relay or how it's changed since you blew up the Collector base. It's the galactic core!"

"Cerberus managed to put a base there and recover the fragments of the human Reaper so there's clearly still a safe zone." She started to reach out to him only to pull her hand back when he turned away from her. "Kaidan, I have to do this."

"No you don't!" Frustration vibrated through his body as he struggled to keep from shouting. Pacing from one end of the room to the other he couldn't find it in him to stand still. "You've done enough already. They can't ask you to do this, not after everything you've been through."

"I need to finish what I started." Her voice was implacable and he felt a twinge of panic knowing that she had already made up her mind.

"You didn't start this Shepard." He insisted, desperate to make her see reason. "You've been through hell and back and they're asking you to take on another suicide mission."

Shepard sighed, she saw where he was coming from but she needed him to understand - couldn't do this without his support. "The Normandy is the only ship that can travel through the Omega-4 relay with any kind of safety."

"Then let someone else take her through just not you." His expression was anguished, his hands gripping her shoulders as he touched his forehead to hers, his breath shuddering out with the force of his emotions. "Please don't go, don't leave me behind again."

Reaching up she cupped his face in her hands, her eyes moistening as she wished she could do as he asked. Lifting his chin until he looked her in the eye she knew he saw the answer on her face before she spoke. "This was always my fight. If I don't finish this it will haunt me for the rest of my life."

"But at least you would have the rest of your life here with me." His voice cracked on the last words.

"And when I've finished this I will come back to you." She lifted her hand to show the engagement ring. "I made a promise to spend the rest of my life with you and I intend to keep it."

His throat worked hard as he changed tact. "What about the crew Shepard? Can you really ask them to risk it all again? I read the reports; I know how close you came to not coming back the last time."

"They've already agreed. I wouldn't force them, you know that. They've been through the relay before and they know what's waiting for us on the other side if that's what it comes to."

Kaidan released the breath he had been holding and his shoulders slumped as the fight left him. He knew her too well and as much as he hated it she knew he understood her reasons. Leaning forward she kissed him with all of the love she felt for him. He returned the kiss desperately holding her close to him as if he had already lost her. It was so hard to step away.

"I have to go and make sure the Normandy is ready." She said softly, pulling her hands out of his. He nodded but didn't say anything. She supposed there was really nothing more for him to say. As the door closed behind her she pressed the heel of her hand to her chest against the pain in her heart.

* * *

After Shepard walked out Kaidan spent a few minutes cursing and chastising himself for not having handled that better. They'd promised each other at the very beginning that they would never let their personal feelings get in the way of the mission and that's exactly what he was doing – even if the Alliance seemed hell bent on getting her killed. But she was going ahead with it because she believed it was something she had to do. It was time for him to do the same.

"What can I do for you Major Alenko?" Hackett gave him an appraising look taking in the serious expression though seeming remarkably unsurprised to see Kaidan in his office.

"I want to request a temporary transfer to the Normandy Sir."

"I'm sure you are aware of the discussion that I had with Commander Shepard regarding your presence on this mission." Hackett paused before pinning him with a knowing gaze. "Especially since I hear that congratulations are in order."

Kaidan felt himself flush as he cleared his throat in discomfort. They hadn't exactly been keeping their relationship a secret since returning to Earth but neither had they been taken the step of informing their superiors. "Yes Sir we hadn't gotten around to announcing it to the brass."

"I'm not asking for an explanation Major. You both know the regs but up until this moment it didn't seem necessary to pull you up on it considering we were fighting a war and it didn't seem to affect Shepard's ability to do her job. You know what the stakes are and how delicate the current galactic political situation is. The Alliance can't be seen to be influencing events in the Terminus Systems."

"Admiral with all due respect Shepard is about to take the Normandy to face down Cerberus on Omega. They are dug in there and by all reports they have a fleet stationed in orbit blockading the station. This has the potential to turn into a small war and while I understand your concerns about the Alliance presence in the system she needs a strong team behind her."

"That is why the Commander was free to choose who she would take with her."

"Which didn't leave her many options since the people she trusted the most have returned home to their own people, were wounded or are serving Alliance officers. There aren't many people she can trust to have her back in that kind of situation."

"The Commander knows what she's doing and despite what you seem to think I'm not trying to get her killed."

"You are sending her on another potential suicide mission without adequate backup." He countered.

Linking his hands together behind his back Hackett watched him with a frown. "I know there's a chance that the Normandy will have to pass through the Omega-4 relay again but Shepard understands the risks better than anyone. To be honest I would prefer to not have my best soldier out there helping a notorious underworld figure like Aria T'Loak but the decision is largely out of my hands. Omega needs to be dealt with and we both know that she is the only one that can get it done without causing a galactic incident. But I get the feeling you're going to be on that ship no matter what I say aren't you?"

Kaidan fixed Admiral Hackett with an implacable look. "I'm not going to let Shepard do this alone. I'll act in my capacity as a Spectre if I have to though I would prefer it if you didn't make me disobey a direct order Admiral."

"Alright Major Alenko, if that's what you want you have my permission to join the crew of the Normandy subject to Commander Shepard's approval."

Kaidan snapped a sharp salute, the sense of relief palpable. "Thank you Sir."

"Oh and Major, you might want to consider bringing Lieutenant Vega with you. Apparently he isn't content to stay behind either if his constant requests to my office are any indication. I'm authorizing his leave from the Academy until the mission is over." Kaidan swore that for a brief moment the Admiral looked pleased but it was gone too quickly for him to be sure. "Good luck out there. Dismissed."

* * *

It hadn't taken long to pack his gear but as he stood looking up at the Normandy's gleaming hull uncertainty wound its way through him. He knew that he had to face Shepard and patch up things between them. Getting her to talk to him would not be the hard part, Shepard was nothing if not calm and rational but what he couldn't be sure of was whether he could convince her to let him join the crew. This moment seemed all too reminiscent of when he'd been waiting for her on the Citadel after the attempted coup. She hadn't been angry at his mistrust of her motives she'd simply listened. Deciding to seek out Joker first to gauge the situation he made his way to the flight deck only to be given a very frosty reception. The pilot was running systematic checks on all of the ship's flight controls doing his best to ignore Kaidan's presence.

"Hey Joker."

The pilot grunted dismissively but as Kaidan stepped back and turned to go Joker spun his chair around. "You're an idiot."

"What are you talking about?" Kaidan demanded. He knew Joker was unwaveringly loyal to Shepard but the reaction took him by surprise.

"Shepard needs you to have her back and instead you decide to screw with her head?"

"I've always had her back." Even as the words came out of his mouth he knew they were a lie.

"That's bullshit." Joker snapped out, not bothering to hide his anger. "I had her back even when you didn't. I was there when you pulled that crap on Horizon. Oh sure, Shepard acted like it hadn't gotten to her but we all knew it did."

"What was I supposed to do Joker? Just jump onto a Cerberus ship after two years?" Kaidan shot back, irritated to be going over such old ground. "I thought she was dead and no one – you included – thought to tell me any differently."

"Yeah well we were kind of busy, you know stopping all of those abductions? Besides that was Shepard's choice to make, not mine."

"She seems determined to get herself killed."

"No she's determined to do her job."

"Come on Joker, going through the relay again is another suicide mission and you know it."

"No it isn't." Joker countered with certainty. "The last time we didn't know what we were facing and we hit a shit storm. Anyone else flying into that would have their ship ripped to pieces but I know what I'm doing and the Normandy is fast enough to keep us safe, especially without the Collectors trying to shoot us out of the sky with that big ass canon. Add Shepard to that and we're pretty much unstoppable but we all need to have our head in the game, her most of all." The pilot's anger faded slightly. "Look you think I don't worry about EDI when she heads out on a mission with Shepard? Hell yeah I do but it's her choice and part of what makes her EDI. Would it really be Shepard if she didn't take on impossible odds and expect to win because she thought it was the right thing to do?"

Joker's words shamed him, he'd let his feelings cloud the reality of who they were. Shepard's heart was his without question but they were both marines and there was a job to be done. "Where is she?"

"Down in the armoury but don't blame me if she kicks your ass off the ship."

"Thanks Joker."

Shrugging the pilot turned back to his console. "Yeah well let's not make this a regular thing ok? Shepard's better at that understanding touchy feely stuff anyway."

Hitting the button in the lift with more force than was strictly necessary he felt as much of an idiot as he had after Horizon. It seemed he had the uncanny ability to let his emotions get the better of him when it mattered and he ended up hurting the person most important to him. When he stepped out into the hangar for a moment he thought Joker had gotten it wrong as it seemed deserted but sitting on the floor with her back against the lockers was Shepard. Seeing her with her arms resting on top of her knees and her head down a memory came vividly to mind.

"You know the last time I saw you like this Udina and the Council had locked down the Normandy."

Lifting her head to look at him a ghost of a smile flickered across her features. "Right before we decided to mutiny and steal the ship in order to bring down Saren."

"Yeah but I remember more than that." Stepping closer he could recall the moment as if it had been yesterday. "We were dancing around each other and I remember thinking how much I just wanted to be with you but I was so worried about muddying things. We're way past that point now huh?"

She sighed regretfully. "I'm sorry Kaidan I should have told you. Everything about this mission from the lack of official sanction from the Council and the Alliance to going back to Omega reminds me of what we went through fighting the Collectors."

"I know and I think it hit me too. Last time I wasn't there when you needed me, I didn't want to be faced with the same situation again only this time it's Cerberus trying to take you down."

Her lips twitched as she fought a grin. "You still just can't pull out an old fashioned 'it'll be alright' can you?"

He huffed out a laugh. "Yeah I guess I never did get the hang of that one."

Holding out his hand for her she took it without hesitation and let him pull her up and into his arms. "Now the last time we found ourselves in this situation Joker interrupted what would have been a pretty amazing first kiss, if I say so myself."

Unable to stop the laugh that escaped she shook her head and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling his head down for a kiss. Her expression was serious again when he lifted his head. "I'm still going."

"I know and I was wrong to ask you not to, I'm sorry." He admitted. "All that matters is that I love you and I've got your back."

Joker chose that moment to interrupt. "Hey Commander you might want to come up to the CIC we have some people here who want to see you."

"You let them onboard?" Shepard demanded while Kaidan muttered under his breath about needing to talk to Joker about his timing.

"Uh yeah I wasn't going to be the one to say no to them."

Shepard shot him a concerned look but he kept his expression carefully neutral as he followed her onto the lift. The doors had barely opened before she strode out into the CIC only to slow in surprise as her gaze fell on the group waiting for her.

"Looks like you got quite the party planned Shepard." Zaeed observed drily from where he stood leaning against the control panel, one foot resting on the heavy weapons case at his feet.

Beside him Jack had her arms crossed over her chest and her chin thrown up in an arrogant smirk while Miranda stood with a hand on her slim hip levelling a challenging look at Shepard.

"Hey Commander you didn't really think we'd miss out on all the fun did you?" Vega quipped as he walked in with a duffel bag tossed casually over his shoulder.

"What's going on?"

Zaeed shrugged as he straightened and picked up the case before heading to the lift. "No idea what this lot are doing here but I was invited. I'll be down in my old quarters if you need me."

Jack shrugged with her typical air of disinterest though her sharp gaze didn't miss a thing. "This Alliance teamwork shit was always your thing but I'm not going to miss the opportunity to kick some serious Cerberus ass."

Brow furrowed Shepard aimed a stern look at Miranda. "We've talked about this Miranda. You're in no condition to head out on a combat mission."

Kaidan had to admit that Miranda really had perfected that haughty superior look. "I don't work for the Alliance Shepard and you need people who know what we'll be facing."

There was a long pause as Shepard frowned at the group and he could almost see her mind sifting through the options and arguments. "Fine you can set up in your old office but you can't join the ground team until Dr. Chakwas has cleared you." She finally agreed, knowing when to pick her battles.

"Come on Tats I'll show you were to stow your gear." James offered cheerfully seeing it as an excuse to get out of explaining himself to Shepard.

Jack gave the hulking lieutenant a frosty look. "I've got my own place on this ship Vega. Best you remember to give me my space."

"Hey I'll show you my ink if you'll show me yours." He quipped totally unperturbed.

"The day I want to see some pathetic little princess ink I'll let you know." She shot back with feigned sweetness before straightening to make her way down to the engineering deck. "You know where I'll be Shepard."

"We have other quarters available if you want Jack."

"Nah I'm good, it'll be like old times." She jerked her chin in Miranda's direction. "Let's go cheerleader before you fall on your precious ass."

James grinned broadly as the lift doors closed cutting off Miranda's retort. "Oh I like her."

Kaidan felt the full impact of Shepard's probing look. "Let me guess you and Vega are planning on disobeying orders and coming along too?"

Totally unrepentant he gave her a shrug. "You need a strong team with you and no one knows how you operate better than I do. Besides I'm a Spectre and head of Biotics Division, I think that gives me some say in what missions I go on."

When her expression remained unconvinced Vega chimed in. "Don't worry Commander the Major here got Hackett on board with it. The Admiral even authorized delaying my N7 course until we get back."

"Doesn't sound like I have much of a choice." She observed with a wry look.

"This is your ship Shepard, if you want us gone we'll go." Kaidan held her gaze as they waited with baited breath for her answer. As she shook her head ruefully he let out a sigh of relief. Vega busied himself dragging his gear down to the armoury as Shepard stepped closer, a half-grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Reaching up she stroked his jaw with gentle fingers. "Thanks for having my back Kaidan."

"Always."


	27. Chapter 27

There was no fanfare witnessing the Normandy's departure as the docking clamps were released and the ship slipped quietly into the early morning mists blanketing the sleeping city. The world no longer burned beneath her wings as she flew ever higher until the endless blanket of stars greeted her arrival into the vastness of space. A few observed her flight as she swept past the fleet stationed around the Citadel, each giving a silent acknowledgement of respect for the ship and her famous Commander. With a brilliant flare of light she sped away from Earth carrying her crew towards the edges of the Sol System where the deposed pirate queen of Omega waited with her fleet of mercenary ships.

The Normandy exited the relay with the stealth systems fully engaged. As Aria's ships arrived behind them Joker turned the Alliance ship out of their flight path. This was one battle that the Normandy would not be at the head of. Shepard and her team watched from the bridge as Omega slowly came into view. Aria hadn't been kidding about the blockade around the station as they took in the sheer number of Cerberus vessels lying in wait. Either this was all that remained of the Cerberus fleet or they were in for a bigger fight against the organization than Shepard had realized.

Zaeed shifted beside her. "Well that looks like one hell of a fight we're getting ourselves into. How do you suppose we're going to slip past Cerberus undetected?"

"We're only visible if someone looks out of a window but in a few minutes I think they're all going to be too preoccupied with Aria's mercs to notice us." Shepard replied, her eyes on the mercenary ships moving forward to engage the blockade. "As long as the Normandy hangs back and doesn't engage any of them she should remain undetected long enough for us to get on board the station. Take us in but be prepared Joker, Cerberus is going to realize pretty quickly that we're on Omega and when that happens they'll know the Normandy is close by."

Joker snorted. "Come on Commander. Those Cerberus idiots have never been able to come close to matching me and my baby."

"You have a strange attachment to your ship." Zaeed rasped in amusement.

"Uh huh this from the guy who spends his time collecting an arsenal of weapons in his room." The pilot retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Just don't let them get close enough to get a lucky shot in." Shepard intervened.

"Yeah yeah I know. Don't worry Commander, I'll keep her and the crew safe."

She gently clapped his shoulder. "That's what I'm counting on."

Aria's voice came over the comms. "We're in position Shepard. It's time to hold up your end."

At Shepard's nod Joker banked the Normandy towards the station. There was no chance to casually dock the ship as before so they'd have to go in via shuttle. Gesturing to her team she checked the seals and shielding on her armour out of habit as she turned away from the flight deck. "Let's go."

She had only taken a few steps when an explosion rocked the Normandy almost throwing her to the ground. "What the hell just happened Joker?"

"It wasn't us. They just took out one of the Eclipse ships! Commander they're getting hammered out there!" Joker called as he held the ship back at a safe distance, watching the mercenary ships fire on the better armed Cerberus fleet.

"We have specific orders not to engage the Cerberus ships and draw attention to our presence Jeff." EDI reminded him.

"Yeah well I don't think Hackett was expecting this." Joker snapped in response.

Shepard took in the unfolding scene with a deep frown. It wasn't a difficult decision to make. "We're not going to stand idly by while they get slaughtered. Let's give Aria's guys some backup."

"Hell yeah time to kick some Cerberus ass!" Joker crowed as his fingers flew over his console. "EDI let's get all our weapons systems online."

Spotting a crippled ship trying to limp away from the conflict Shepard pointed, gripping the back of the pilot's chair with her free hand. "Give them some cover."

"Aye aye ma'am!"

"Disengage stealth systems." Shepard ordered as Joker brought the Normandy on a course to intercept the damaged ship.

As Cerberus vessels began closing in on the stricken cruiser Joker brought the Normandy out of the tight banking manoeuver in time to fill the vision of the approaching ships. On seeing the famous and heavily armed Alliance frigate bearing down with canons locked onto them the Cerberus pilots desperately tried to change course. With the Normandy's stealth systems disengaged Shepard had announced her presence to the entire Cerberus fleet and the reaction was immediate. Overconfident of their superiority in the face of Aria's fleet a few of the Cerberus ships began to break off when they saw the Normandy on the battlefield. Fast and agile she slipped between the enemy ships with almost frightening speed as her Thanix cannons fired with ruthless precision. Bolstered by the Normandy's offensive Aria's ships began a coordinated strike, giving Joker room to bring the ship close enough to Omega for the shuttle to drop unnoticed towards the station.

Standing behind Cortez in the Kodiak Shepard watched her ship dart back into the conflict with pride. "Don't let them catch you Joker."

He gave an amused snort. "Come on Commander, give me some credit. It's time for me to have some fun."

At his words they saw a number of fighters move to engage the ship. The thrusters fired brightly seconds before the Normandy accelerated with breath taking speed and vanished from view with the fighters struggling to pursue.

Cortez shook his head ruefully. "You know Commander he sure is one hell of a pilot. I'm not ashamed to say that I don't think I could match him, especially not with the Normandy."

"He knows how to get the best out of her and he's pulled our asses out of the fire more than once." She agreed.

"I guess we didn't manage to follow Admiral Hackett's orders to stay under the radar."

"Come on flyboy it's not exactly the first time Shepard's disobeyed a direct order." Jack said smugly from where she sat looking eager to join the fray.

"It was my decision Steve. If any heat comes down from the Alliance brass about that it's on me. Right now we have to hope that Cerberus is distracted enough by that fight to let us slip onto the station unnoticed."

"They've seen the Normandy so they have to know that you're going to try and take back the station." James pointed out as Cortez began guiding the shuttle through the haphazard maze of struts and extensions that formed the outlying areas of the station.

"Our presence was never going to go unnoticed for long. With any luck Aria has managed to get a foothold and they'll be distracted long enough for us to get onto the station without having to dodge bullets."

"Uh Commander? I think they know you're coming." Cortez called over his shoulder.

Unholstering her assault rifle she braced herself as Cortez took the shuttle down. "You heard the man, get ready for a Cerberus welcoming party."

"Scans indicate that hostile forces are gathered by the most obvious infiltration points." EDI relayed through the comm channel. "I would recommend attempting a landing in the Gozu district instead."

"Thanks EDI. Cortez see if you can find another way in."

"Shepard…" The AI paused. "The readings indicate that a large number of the hostiles on the station are not completely organic. They bear a similar signature to the Reaper husks we have fought however they are different from anything we have encountered before."

"That's just great." Vega drawled sarcastically.

A frown creased Kaidan's handsome features. "What's the plan Shepard?"

"Mordin used to run a clinic in the Gozu district and his assistant Daniel took over from him when he joined the Normandy. Any survivors in the area will have tried to make their way to the clinic so we'll be able to get some intel on what we're dealing with."

"You seem pretty convinced that the clinic will still be there."

Miranda shifted in her seat as she checked her pistol. "Probably because the last time we were there Mordin had security mechs guarding it. Omega's a dangerous place at the best of times and with the Blue Suns and Blood Pack fighting for control of the territory Daniel would have been stupid to get rid of them."

"The last time I heard from him he said that he was keeping them powered on so I guess it depends on whether Cerberus managed to get past their defences."

"So you're saying that we're heading onto a station filled with Cerberus troops and some more Reaper freaks and we have to hope that those security mechs don't take us out too?" James shook his head. "Damn Lola you know how to pick the missions."

"If you can't handle it stay on the shuttle." Jack snapped.

"Hey at least I'm wearing something that can be considered armour."

She bared her teeth in a mock smile but Shepard interrupted before she could retort. "Let's focus on the mission. Once Cortez finds a safe landing zone we'll make our way to the clinic. From there we'll split into two teams and work our way through the area until we get to the Kima district. Miranda I want you leading the second team with Zaeed and James. Kaidan and Jack you're with me. Cortez keep the comms open in case there's a problem and we need an evac."

"Roger that Commander. Bringing the shuttle in now, the area looks clear but watch yourselves out there."

As the shuttle touched down the team found themselves close to the environmental control centre for the district.

"The area looks secure." Miranda commented as they walked slowly through the abandoned corridors.

"At least those damned Vorcha aren't crawling all over the place this time." Jack pulled a face at the memory.

Keeping her rifle ready Shepard's eyes swept across the hallways and empty rooms as they moved. The district seemed far too quiet as they got closer to Mordin's old clinic her awareness shifted into high gear. As they rounded the final corner she breathed a small sigh of relief as she saw the huge YMIR security mechs still guarding the doors. The clinic was crammed with people who watched the heavily armed soldiers with fearful eyes as they slowly worked their way through the crowd. Batarians, Humans, Turians and even a couple Asari huddled together in the now cramped facilities. Many looked undernourished while others simply stared blankly, not even really aware of what was happening around them. Seeing Shepard one of the clinic staff darted down the hallway that led to the treatment rooms and moments later Dr. Daniel Abrams appeared, a look of relief flooding his features as he caught sight of her.

"Commander Shepard thank god you're here!"

Shaking his hand she gestured to the building. "Glad to see you're still here Daniel. What's the situation?"

Indicating that she should follow him he led them out of the main reception area until they were out of earshot of the refugees. The once youthful man looked ragged as if he were fraying at the edges. "It's not good. When you left with Dr. Solus it seemed like things were finally calming down and getting back to normal. We managed to eradicate all lingering traces of the plague and the Blue Suns had managed to regain control over the area. Everything seemed fine until these things suddenly started invading the station. I'd never seen anything like it but the Suns managed to block them from getting into the district."

"I don't have much intel but those things were most likely husks created by the Reapers."

He shuddered. "Whatever they were they were terrifying. Not long after they showed up these ships full of Cerberus troops started arriving. At first it didn't seem like a big deal - I mean this is Omega we see all kinds of things going on here - but this was different. Aria managed to unite all of the mercenary groups to try and fight off the invasion but somehow they tricked her into leaving the station. Since then we've had no supplies coming in. There's hardly any food and we've had to ration whatever water is left. People are dying every day Commander and there's nothing I can do to help them."

Shepard gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as she saw the desperation in his eyes. "My crew and I are here with Aria to take Omega back from Cerberus control."

His shoulders sagged in relief. "I know one group of mercenaries is pretty much the same as any other but I'd rather know where I stand dealing with Aria than have Cerberus let us all starve to death or unleash more of those….. things."

"Do you have any information that could help us? We need to start securing the wards."

"Yeah sure. There's a Batarian in charge of the Blue Suns in this district- Salkie. Last I heard he was holed up in a building just off of the plaza. He's probably your best bet."

"Thanks Daniel we'll go talk to him and try and help the people here."

With a grave expression he shook her hand again. "Good luck out there Commander. You managed a miracle the first time you were here. I just hope you can pull off another one."

As they left the clinic Miranda gave Shepard a sideways look, keeping her voice low. "Isn't Salkie…?"

"Yeah, let's hope he doesn't remember us."

Jack snorted. "Good luck with that. The way Jacob told it you took out most of their troops and the guys in charge."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough." She murmured as they made their way through the deserted alleyways.

Kaidan frowned as he took in the dilapidated apartments and burned out store fronts. "It looks like this place has seen some pretty heavy fighting."

Miranda looked surprised at the comment, clearly having forgotten that Kaidan had never experienced the seedy underworld that was Omega before. "It was pretty much like this before Cerberus decided to stage a coup. There aren't any laws except for those the various mercenary groups decide on. This place is a major hub for narcotics, weapons and eezo trafficking amongst other things. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a larger group of thieves, murderers and outlaws anywhere else in the galaxy."

"I thought Aria was in charge of this place?"

Shepard snorted. "Aria just happens to run the most ruthless syndicate in the Terminus Systems. She doesn't care who controls the districts because she controls them. All she cares about is staying in power and she'll do anything to keep her dominance over Omega intact."

"And we're helping her….." James trailed off.

"WhileI don't approve of Aria's methods even I have to admit that she's brought a kind of stability to the system. She manages to keep the rival mercenary groups in check so no single one gets too powerful."

"Except for hers." Kaidan pointed out wryly. "How can people live like this?"

"The people here are lawless, greedy or just looking for a place outside of the Council's reach." Miranda replied.

"If you're looking to make some money and aren't too picky about how you get it this is the place." Zaeed added. "It's also a great place for people to disappear ain't that right Commander?"

Kaidan shot her a questioning look. "This is where Samara's daughter Morinth was hiding."

"It's also where we originally tracked you to after the Collectors took out the original Normandy." Miranda admitted softly giving Shepard a sad smile.

Debris littered the streets as small fires burned unchecked through abandoned buildings. Above them the lights flickered sporadically as a couple of the damaged display signs sparked dangerously. Shepard had expected that the majority of the corpses of the plague victims would have been cleared off of the streets but bodies were piled in corners though some still lay where they'd died. She frowned as a couple caught her eye. Sprawled on the ground there was clear evidence of gunshot wounds to their backs but most worryingly their heads had been completely severed from their spines. With a chill she realized that these bodies were not remnants from the plague, these were all victims of Cerberus's invasion of the station.

"What happened to these people?" Kaidan scanned the bodies with his omni tool.

Disquieted Shepard looked around for any clues as to why these people had been gunned down and decapitated. "I don't know."

"I'm picking up traces of Reaper tech. It's faint but they're definitely there."

"Something's really wrong here Shepard." Miranda tightened her grip on her pistol.

Cautiously moving past the bodies she double checked her rifle as a precaution. "Let's keep going but keep your eyes open everyone."

The silence and lack of movement put her on edge. It was unnatural and Shepard knew better than to ignore her instincts but the district remained quiet. She could feel the slight prickling of the hairs at the back of her neck as the biotics in her team kept their abilities ready for anything. Approaching the plaza she sent Miranda's team to skirt around the other side to make sure no one was hiding in ambush. As they checked the buildings Shepard caught sight of two Batarians with the mark of the Blue Suns emblazoned on their patchwork armor. Relaying the information to the other team she waited until they'd rejoined her group before stepping forward. The two mercs seemed twitchy, reflexively tightening their grip on their guns. A subtle approach was likely to result in a panicked fire fight so Shepard stepped into the plaza directly within their line of sight.

The Blue Sun guards raised their weapons threateningly as the group approached. "Stop right there!" The Batarian on the right ordered. "This is Blue Suns territory so unless you want a bullet in the head get lost!"

"I see their manners haven't improved." Miranda muttered under her breath.

Holstering her gun Shepard stepped forward. "I'm here to speak with Salkie."

An uncertain look passed between the guards before the one who'd spoken jerked his head in the direction of the building's interior. Making their way inside Shepard's eyes scanned every corner of the room tracking every mercenary she could see. She may be helping Aria but it was a temporary alliance and she had taken out the Blue Suns leader so she wasn't about to let her guard down. They found the man they were looking for bent over a flickering map of the district.

"Salkie."

The Batarian lifted his head at her voice. "What do you want human?" His lip curled in distaste until his eyes narrowed suddenly. "Wait a minute I know you. You're that freelancer that showed up to help take out Archangel."

Another Batarian sidled up beside him watching her nervously as he whispered urgently in his ear. Straightening Salkie frowned taking a closer look at the heavily armed group in front of him. "So you're Commander Shepard. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Always did think you looked too experienced to be a freelancer. Explains why the assault on Archangel turned into such a mess for us. Heard you even managed to take out Garm."

"Archangel had something I needed." She offered by way of explanation.

"Do I look like I care what your reasons were? He's dead and I've been promoted so as I see it you did me a favour. Now what do you want?"

"I'm here to break Cerberus's control over the station."

He stared at her thoughtfully. "Now why would an Alliance officer and the first human Spectre care about what happens on Omega?"

"Aria and I have a deal."

He chuckled. "Is that so? Sorry to break it to you Shepard but you got the bad end of that deal. This place is crawling with those scum and they've been unleashing some kind of creature that's killed a lot of my men. We've barely managed to keep them out of the district as it is."

"We came across a few bodies missing their heads. That seems brutal even for Omega."

"Aria's orders, anyone who got attacked by those things had to be killed and decapitated. Seems like she was worried they were going to just get up and walk away once they were dead. I decided it was better for my health to just do as she said."

"We can handle Cerberus but I need whatever intel you can give me about their movements."

Indicating the map he pointed to the main entrances to the district. "At the moment they seem to have changed their tactics and have been working at the main routes to the other districts to block us off from one another."

"Aria is leading a team in through the Kenzo district. We need to get through to Kima and from there we'll hit the main force around Afterlife."

"Then you're going to want to avoid the main routes connecting the districts unless you really want to get their attention and bring them running. I can get you access to the tunnels. They'll get you close to a back way into Afterlife avoiding the soldiers blocking the entrances." He gave her a considering look. "But there's always another way."

Not liking the sound of that she rocked back on her heel and crossed her arms over her chest. "Which is?"

"What if I were to offer you a new deal, one where you get the Blue Suns full support? In exchange you help us deal with Aria – permanently."

"I'm not here to sort out the stations petty power struggles, I'm here for Cerberus. If you want to take on Aria it's your neck on the line."

"Don't be too hasty Commander. Even the so called Pirate Queen of Omega needs your help to take back the station which means that she doesn't have the power to do it on her own. That's a powerful position for you to be in. The Blue Suns could prove to be a valuable ally."

"An ally that I currently already have thanks to Aria." She reminded him. "I'm not going to start trying to influence the internal politics on Omega."

"Ah but you already have Shepard. Your actions with Archangel and Patriarch shifted the balance. It wouldn't take much to push the balance in our favour."

She pinned him with a chilling look. "I'll pass. Now where are these tunnels?"

The Batarian searched her expression but whatever he saw there convinced him not to push his luck any further. "Can't blame me for trying. Grak and Hrong will take you to the tunnels."

The narrow corridors twisted through the bowels of the district and showed signs of being well used. Shepard had seen tunnels like this before being used to transport drugs and weapons shipments under the radar but considering this was Omega the necessity for them here was a bit surprising. However with the constant turf wars between the many mercenary groups she supposed that a semi-secure way of transporting their goods while violence erupted above was probably a sound business strategy. A station like Omega would be riddled with tunnels and vents like this which would allow those wanting to stay under the radar to pass through the station without drawing attention to themselves. Salkie's men had shown them the entrance but had refused to lead the way through, giving them strict directions to follow before closing the grate behind them. James had muttered something about feeling like they were walking into a trap but Shepard knew they needed whatever advantage they could get over the Cerberus forces blocking the main thoroughfares.

The path twisted and sometimes almost seemed to turn back on itself but finally they found the grate that opened up on the lower level of the markets close to the club. As quietly as possible Shepard braced herself and shifted the grate out of the way. Seeing a small group of Cerberus soldiers loitering by the entrance to Afterlife's VIP room Shepard ducked behind some nearby crates as the rest of the team got into position. Just as she was reaching over her shoulder to grab her sniper rifle one of the side doors open and a bellowing roar sounded as a huge Krogan rushed the Cerberus operatives, unleashing a devastating shotgun blast before slamming the butt of his gun into the face of another.

"Move!" She was already up and running as she shouted the order to her team, pistol out and cutting through the enemy shields.

It was over in seconds, the handful of Cerberus soldiers standing no chance against the Normandy strike team and an enraged Krogan warlord. A half grin tugged at her mouth as she holstered her gun and stepped up to greet the familiar figure as he kicked one of the bodies in disgust.

"Bah they didn't even put up a good fight." He groused before grinning at her and extending a hand.

"Well well if it isn't you Shepard. Didn't think our paths would cross again after you helped me deal with those assassins but I'm surprisingly glad to see you in one piece."

"It's good to see you Patriarch. When I didn't see you with Aria on the Citadel I thought you might have been one of the casualties.

Throwing his head back with a booming laugh he indicated that they should follow him back into the club. It was the same room where she'd first met him but this time instead of having a bevy of eager listeners for his war stories the chairs and tables were covered with weapons and provisions.

"There was a time you probably would have been right about that but you helped me remember what it meant to be a true Krogan warlord. Cerberus would need to try a hell of a lot harder to take me out." His gaze narrowed as he caught sight of Miranda. "Wait a minute, weren't you one of them?"

Lifting her chin Miranda gave him a withering look. "That was a long time ago."

Unimpressed by the posturing he waved a hand dismissively. "If you're with Shepard that's good enough for me." He turned back to face her. "What brings you here anyway? Can't imagine it went unnoticed by the Alliance that Aria had been exiled and that Cerberus had taken over in her place."

"I'm helping Aria take back the station from Cerberus."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"I'm looking for Oleg Petrovsky. As I understand it he was behind the coup here."

"Ahh." The big Krogan nodded in understanding. "He and that little weasel Ashe really managed to pull the wool over Aria's eyes I'll give them that."

"And I intend to make all of them pay for it." Aria interrupted stalking into the room with a mercenary team at her back. Seeing the guns Shepard's team pointed at her she sneered. "Call off your attack dogs Shepard, wouldn't want one of them to accidentally shoot themselves in the foot." Glancing at the Krogan warlord she looked almost pleased. "Patriarch, I'm impressed they haven't managed to kill you yet."

"Always a pleasure to see you too Aria." The Krogan replied with a surprising lack of sarcasm.

"How did you know where we were?" Kaidan asked suspiciously, reluctant to put away his pistol.

"This is was part of the plan. Not that it was very subtle leaving those bodies out there in the open."

Shepard had a more pertinent question. "Who's Ashe?"

"A corpse. Probably the only worthwhile thing Petrovsky ever did was put a bullet in his head."

"What's the situation outside?"

"My mercenaries have managed to hold most of the wards but it seems our little surprise has gotten Cerberus nervous. Their fleet is taking heavy damage and with your ship joining the fray Cerberus have pulled their troops on the station back to hold the central courtyard and docks."

"We need to split up and hit them from all sides to stop them escaping into the lower wards."

"Fine, I'll send some of my men around to head them off at the shuttle bays. You and your team head through the markets and I'll deal with them from here." With a flick of her hand Aria called her more experienced guards over, leaving Shepard to give her team their orders.

"Colonel Raymond Ashe was a bigoted fanatic with a complete disregard for any life other than his own." Miranda scowled once Aria was out of earshot. "He had a reputation for believing that any loss was acceptable if it furthered humanity's interests. The galaxy is better off without him."

"I thought Cerberus operatives didn't know about one another." There was a barely veiled accusation in Vega's voice.

"That was true for the most part but even within an organization like Cerberus you'll have people who get a reputation."

"Just like Kai Leng." Shepard barely stopped herself from spitting the name but Miranda gave a nod of agreement. "We need to watch our backs going through the markets. There are side corridors and lots of places where it would be easy to set up an ambush so keep your eyes open. There are two exits back to the main plaza so Miranda your team will take the one on the far side."

"Understood Commander."

"Remember this is Aria we're dealing with so be ready in case she decides its in her best interests to sell us out." She kept her voice low as she watched the Asari instructing her men on the other side of the room.

"No way would she risk that with all of us here and the Normandy protecting her ships." Vega protested.

"Don't be so stupid you sound like a damn rookie." Zaeed snapped at Vega. "Aria will only do what's best for her. She doesn't care about the people fighting out there, they're just a tool to be used and right now so are we but if the situation were to change she'd turn on you without a second thought. I would in her place."

"She's not dumb enough to fuck with Shepard when there's still something she wants." Jack agreed. "Don't worry Shepard, we can handle that Asari bitch if we have to."

"I don't doubt it but right now we have to focus on Cerberus."

"Come on Shepard you're wasting time." Aria called from the door as she flared her biotics in preparation.

"I really don't like that woman." Kaidan muttered under his breath.

"I'm sure she'd be crushed if she heard that." She quipped with a quick grin. "Let's go."

As Aria led a team into Afterlife Shepard's team slipped back out into the warren of hallways that led through the markets. Rounding the corner they came across a small detachment of Cerberus troops blocking the way to the exits. Catching them by surprise the first assault trooper was down before the others had a chance to react. One by one they fell but as Shepard stepped forward a cry caught her attention.

"Shepard look out!" Miranda called out as a husk-like creature teleported into range. Vaguely humanoid in shape the tell-tale signs of Reaper implanted technology crisscrossed its body as the domed head glowed an eerie blue.

"Holy shit what is that thing?" Vega demanded as he fired rounds at it only to have it teleport out of the way.

"Something that needs to die!" With a snarl Jack's biotics flashed and she caught the creature in a stasis field as it reappeared, slamming it violently to the ground as it shrieked in rage. The rest of the team took advantage of the biotic attack and hammered its shields until it finally crumpled in a heap from the fatal shots.

"We never saw these creatures while we were fighting the Reapers which means they must be something that Cerberus created themselves using Reaper tech." Miranda gazed down at the corpse in horror. "They have become even more twisted than we realized."

"And here I thought that wasn't possible." Kaidan said grimly.

"Then we need to hurry. We don't know how many of these things they've unleashed on the station." Opening a comms channel to Aria she relayed the news. "We've just come across a husk I've never seen before. Be careful."

The response was not what she'd expected. "Petrovsky called them Adjutants." She could almost see Aria's lip curl in disgust.

Keeping her anger barely leashed Shepard couldn't keep some of the bite out of her voice. "And you didn't warn me? You put me and my team at risk by not telling us what we were facing."

Aria snorted derisively. "Oh please, putting yourself at risk is your _job_ Shepard."

Ignoring the way her team bristled defensively behind her Shepard's tone was uncompromising and carried a clear warning. "I think it's time you start being a bit more open with what you know."

Aria was quiet for long moment – she did not appreciate having her authority challenged. Deciding it was worth more to her to keep Shepard on her side she snapped out a reply. "Fine. Cerberus released these things onto Omega as part of the plan to get control of the station and have exclusive access to the Omega 4 relay."

"We just watched it take out a Cerberus trooper, it doesn't sound like they have them under control."

"They don't, they're different from the other husks you've fought. These ones are able to infect others and turn them into more of their kind. This means that they will try to avoid killing since a dead body is useless to them. Once a person is infected you'll have no choice but to kill them. If it took out one of the troopers you need to cut off the head to stop the transformation."

"He looks pretty dead from where I'm standing." James muttered.

"Or his DNA is being rewritten as we speak. If you want to have one of these things at your back that's your choice Shepard." The comm link went dead.

Keeping a tight rein on her temper Shepard bit back a few choice words as she dealt with the corpse before taking point leading the way towards the exits, motioning for Miranda to split off with James and Zaeed towards the farthest exit while they covered the other. Even through the thick doors the gunfire was clearly audible and at her nod they opened the doors, sweeping forward to provide suppressing fire as Aria's team tried to hold the enemy forces off at Afterlife's doors. Crouching behind a low wall Shepard counted the seconds as bullets slammed into the wall opposite. As the gunfire ceased long enough for the troopers to reload she raised herself up on a knee and targeted the ones on the stairs, giving the mercenaries a bit of breathing room. A piercing cry rose over the sounds of battle and with a flash everything descended into complete chaos as three Adjutants teleported amongst the Cerberus forces. With cries of horror the troopers fell back from the creatures, raising their weapons too late as they were systematically slashed and thrown to the ground. Some lay still while others convulsed in agony. Swapping to her more powerful sniper rifle Shepard tried to target the husks but they were too fast. Gritting her teeth she steadied her aim, dialling in the scope as she watched their movements across the plaza. The sounds of battle faded into the background and before she even had time to process the movement her subconscious had already kicked her into action, pulling the trigger and sending the bullet speeding towards the target. The round slammed home, cutting through the Adjutant's shields and hitting it directly between the eyes. Not waiting to watch the body fall Shepard changed to the assault rifle and ducked forward to the next section of cover. As panic set in with the troopers they began to fire blindly at the fast moving creatures, uncaring if they hit their own and becoming that much more of a danger to her team.

"Screw this." Determined to bring an end to the carnage Shepard jumped over the barrier sprinting towards the last Cerberus troops desperately trying to hold off the Adjutants. Behind her she heard someone call her name but she ignored it, vaulting over the railing and launching herself towards the nearest husk as she unsheathed her omni-blade. Slamming it home she registered its dying twitches as she turned and in one fluid motion brought her pistol up to fire a number of bullets straight into the head of the Adjutant holding the wounded Cerberus soldier as it spread its infection. The corpse fell to the ground, the eerie blue glow of the implanted Reaper tech flickering before finally dying out. Around her the remaining Cerberus troops lay wounded and dying but before she could act Aria stepped past her and ruthlessly shot each man in the head.

Immediately aiming her pistol at the Asari she narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What you should have done Shepard." Came the snarled response. "Those men were dead one way or another."

"We could have at least gotten some information from them first about Petrovsky and Cerberus's movements."

"You don't need them for that." Aria scoffed. "Petrovsky's run like the coward he is and taken the Elbrus back to Avernus Station with whatever is left of his precious Cerberus."

"If you knew all of this before why didn't you go and deal with him yourself?"

"I didn't have a ship capable of going through the relay safely. Besides why deal with it myself when I have you to do it for me?" That familiar arrogant smile wreathed the Asari's features.

Without deigning to reply Shepard turned and walked towards the docking bays as she signalled Cortez for a pick-up, leaving Aria to deal with the mess Cerberus had left behind.


	28. Chapter 28

The Illusive Man's words repeated in her mind as she stared out of the windows in starboard observation at the relay glowing a menacing red in the distance, the multitude of warnings flickering brightly to warn ships away.

_Once again you fail to recognize the truth. Cerberus isn't just an organization or the people behind it. Cerberus is an idea. That idea is not so easily destroyed._

She'd known he was right but had been unable to stop the events he'd set into motion. It was almost as if she had no choice but to follow the path that unfolded in front of her, constantly driven forward, harder, faster until she finally arrived at the destination. How many times had she felt as if her mind had begun to splinter under the pressure, the constant overwhelming reminders that the future of the galaxy had rested on her shoulders. She alone had caused the Reapers to experience fear but that had not been enough to stop the deaths and torturous experiments committed by Cerberus. She had always seemed to be too late. Their pro-human agenda would always attract sympathetic followers willing to donate to the idea of humanity's supremacy over the other races. Many of them could even be found within the Alliance's own rank she was certain. Shepard had never been naïve enough to think that her actions would lead to the complete dissolution of Cerberus, the Illusive Man had spoken the truth when he'd said it was an idea that lived within the minds of many. What she could do however was make sure that the people responsible for the atrocities they committed were held accountable. It would be impossible to know everyone who had been involved, the soldiers or the scientists. Many of them would simply fade into obscurity or continue to work for the organization out of sight of the Council. Some of the scientists might even manage to find their way back into government programmes in a hope of redeeming themselves but Petrovsky was the one man they could not allow to vanish into the ether.

If she was honest with herself the prospect of going through the Omega 4 relay again left her discomfited. They'd faced death there once before and she was not naïve enough to believe that she would always be able to beat the odds and bring everyone home in one piece but she was going to do whatever she could to make sure this wasn't the time that her luck ran out. Looking down at the ring Kaidan had given her she couldn't stop the twinge of regret remembering the look on his face when he'd asked her to stay. Even now she wished that she could have given him what he wanted but the soldier in her could never accept backing down for emotion's sake. He'd understood because he knew her better than anyone and understood what drove her and because of that he now faced the same dangers at her side.

"Hey Shepard wondered where you were hiding." Jack spoke up behind her. "Should have known you'd be on your own worrying about every damned thing."

As Jack came to stand beside her Shepard gave her a bland look. "Every person on this ship is risking their lives because I asked them to. Would you prefer I went in with a more cavalier attitude?"

She snorted. "I don't think you could if you tried, you always were wound a little tight about that shit."

"I saw you disappear into the comms room for a while. Something wrong?"

"Nah I was just touching base with my students. I was worried they might have gotten themselves into some kind of shit without me there to watch their backs all the time. Guess you rubbed off on me more than I thought huh?"

"I'm sorry I asked you to come."

"Don't be. Hell we already survived this trip once and blew those Collector bastards back to whatever black hole they'd crawled out of. This time should be a walk in the park." Jack snorted with that irrepressible confidence of hers as she stared out at the relay as if daring it to prove her wrong. Shooting Shepard a sideways glance her expression softened. "Besides, I owe you. You've been a good friend to me Shepard – better than I deserved. All that shit that happened to me…. You helped me deal you know?"

"You don't owe me a thing Jack and as for the rest? I was just along for the ride." Shepard teased, earning an eye roll from the other woman.

"Yeah sure. Come on, the others are waiting in the mess to hear some wise words from our great and glorious Commander. Or we could get drunk, that'd be a blast." Grinning mischievously Jack led the way back to the mess, catching her eye as they came into earshot of the others. "Do me a favour though Shepard, let's skip the dramatic jump onto the ship this time ok?"

Shooting Jack a reckless grin she caught the expression on Kaidan's face that said he was pretty sure he didn't want to know. "Oh I don't know Jack, it was pretty memorable."

The biotic snorted. "Yeah I think that covers most of the things I got myself into thanks to you."

"Well at least this time Jack isn't suggesting you go pirate." Miranda added drily from where she stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Just waiting until the ex-Cerberus cheerleader was out of earshot." Jack retorted with feigned sweetness as she sprawled nonchalantly into one of the chairs.

"Aww it's just like old times huh Commander?" Joker quipped over the comms. "All the banter, camaraderie and certain death around every corner. Oh and let's not forget the two biotics ready to tear holes in the ship. You know you never did take those pictures."

"Screw you Joker." But there was no real heat in Jack's words.

"Clearly I missed quite the experience." Kaidan murmured to her as he watched the interaction.

"I couldn't have stopped the Collectors without them."

"I still can't believe you not only managed to get them all to work together but form friendships of sorts. You never cease to amaze me."

"You can get laid after the mission Poster Boy so save that sweet crap until the two of you are alone, unless you're looking for company that is." Jack shot Kaidan a wicked grin, throwing her head back with laughter as he went red with shock. "Shit Shepard where did you get this guy? He's just too easy."

"Play nice Jack." Shepard admonished unable to stop herself from grinning despite Kaidan's discomfort.

The crew stayed there for a while longer chatting and joking with one another but Shepard could see the underlying nerves. Eventually they all drifted off to their separate quarters to prepare for the mission ahead. Despite their bravado each of them understood that there was no guarantee that they'd live to see this side of the relay again. Shepard went through her own preparations, checking all of her gear in the armoury and touching base with Joker and every member of her ground team. Just as it had the first time it hadn't seemed enough as she stood in her quarters running through everything to make sure she hadn't made a mistake.

"I never realized how much I'd missed when you were out here." Kaidan admitted softly as he entered her quarters and found her frowning down at her personal terminal as if it held some answer she had yet to discover. "For a long time I just thought of them as Cerberus operatives and you were working with them because you had to. I struggled to accept that it was more than that, that you actually trusted them even when you were flying under the Alliance colours again. You gave Miranda access to Alliance systems without asking for an explanation simply because she'd asked you to trust her."

"They became more than just my crew Kaidan."

He smiled reaching out to twine his fingers with hers. "I know, they're all a part of this crazy little family you have on this ship. I think in a strange way every one of them would be lost without you."

Shepard gave a humourless laugh. "And in return for their loyalty and friendship I bring them out on another suicide mission."

"They're here because they want to be. Miranda was furious when she thought you would try and do this without her and Jack made it clear that she was one of the few people qualified to be on the ship because she'd been through this with you before."

Smiling fondly she gazed at the bare spot on her desk, running her fingers over the smooth surface. "Did you know that I used to keep a picture of you here on my desk?" His eyes widened in surprise. "The whole time we were chasing the Collectors it felt as if we were fighting the clock every step of the way. Colonies were disappearing but we couldn't stop it from happening. I built my team, prepared the ship, did everything I could to give us the best chance of surviving long enough to stop them. I couldn't afford to worry about anything else or to let myself believe that there was a chance we would fail but I thought about you. I didn't know where you were or what mission the Alliance had sent you on but I knew that if I succeeded in stopping the Collectors you would be safe from them. We lived through the nightmare once, I never wanted you to have to experience it too."

Cupping her face gently in his hands he swept his thumbs across her cheeks. "You humble me. Every time I think I couldn't love you anymore than I already do you do or say something that makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve you."

"I love you." He could see the doubts and fears in her eyes but it paled in comparison to her strength and determination.

Winding her arms around his neck she kissed him hungrily, revelling in the way his arms banded around her, pressing her tightly against him. More than anything she needed the security being with him brought her and the knowledge that this time he stood beside her to face whatever waited for them. Kaidan lifted his head long enough to order EDI to lock the door before scooping her up into his arms and taking them both to the bed. Apparently he'd taken Jack's threat seriously but it was quickly forgotten as he followed her down onto the cool sheets and they lost themselves in one another.

* * *

The unease of the previous night had been replaced by steely determination as the crew of the Normandy prepared to pass through the Omega 4 relay to face down Cerberus.

"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged." EDI relayed. "Rerouting excess electrical charge from the drive core."

"Thanks EDI." Joker's hands flew across the console, fingers tweaking every flight control as the Normandy entered the relay corridor.

Steadying herself against Joker's chair she cast a quick glance at where Kaidan and James stood, their eyes riveted to the relay. "You might want to hold on." Space blurred around them as the ship was hurtled forwards.

"Brace for deceleration!" Joker called moments later as the Normandy exited the relay into the wreckage strewn chaos of the galactic core. Only Joker's quick reflexes and the ship's responsiveness kept them safe.

"My god." Kaidan breathed as he took in the nightmarish scene, totally unprepared for the reality of the core. "I read the reports but I never imagined anything like this."

James unconsciously crossed himself, muttering in Spanish as Joker expertly manoeuvred the Normandy safely through the debris. Haunting remains of ships that had attempted to traverse the relay without an IFF lay scattered, each ripped apart like they'd been made of tinfoil and carelessly scattered. The wreckage of hundreds if not thousands of ships littered the accretion disc and as they flew over a larger piece of debris the remains of what could only have been the Collector base came into view. She knew Kaidan caught the tightening of her features as she saw the station where her crew had been held captive, ready for liquidation to build the proto Reaper.

"I have detected an energy signature on the edge of the accretion disc that wasn't there before. I believe it is Avernus Station."

"If they're anything like the Collectors they're going to be sending out a welcoming party."

"We're ready for them." Joker's serious gaze swept across his controls making sure everything was functioning the way it was supposed to. There was no way he wanted to risk the Normandy sustaining damage and going down like she had last time.

"Nice work Joker." She praised, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Meeting her gaze he gave a barely perceptible nod. He understood how it felt to be back here, to face the nightmare again and that she might not have made it without him at the helm. As they winged their way through the debris towards the wreckage of the Collector base a small station built around an asteroid came into view. "Take us in."

As they approached a couple ships left their docks heading on a direct intercept course with the Normandy.

"Commander those ships aren't flying like they should, something's wrong." Joker was frowning as he watched the way the ships manoeuvred awkwardly.

EDI looked equally concerned. "My readings indicate that they are being controlled by Adjutants rather than a Cerberus crew."

"Then we need to take them out. We can't risk them going through the relay and getting into a populated system. Tell the ground team to get to the shuttle."

Kaidan, EDI and James were hot on her heels as she strode through the ship clipping her helmet into place. As Cortez piloted the Kodiak towards the station Joker banked the Normandy away, drawing the ships after him and giving them a chance to reach the station without being fired on. The station's alarms were screaming as they deployed from the shuttle into the hangar bay. Cerberus assault troops were everywhere but their attention was not on the new arrivals, instead they were rushing around in a kind of panic towards the shuttles. Weapons at the ready Shepard's team moved forward cautiously until one of the Cerberus engineers cried out in alarm. A small group of assault troopers stepped forward to engage them but the others merely redoubled their escape efforts as the first couple of shuttles lifted off and powered away from the station.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"I'm getting readings of multiple hostiles throughout the facility."

"Cerberus?"

EDI shook her head. "No, it appears that this station was home to a colony of Adjutants. They have been released and are attacking Cerberus forces."

"If we don't stop them they're going to take over the station and convert any troops they find into more of those things!" James was watching the entrances to the hangar with trepidation.

"They've already taken control of a couple of the ships. We have to stop them from taking any more." Shepard agreed bringing up the station's schematics on her omni-tool. "Are they being controlled like the husks on Palaven?"

"No Commander, these appear to be free of any direct control. I believe they have been created with a simple goal that drives their existence."

"To create more of their kind." Shepard scowled.

"Precisely."

"That makes no sense. Why would the Illusive Man create these things and use them on Omega without any ability to control them?" Miranda didn't like the implications.

"Maybe that's something you can worry about _after_ we've dealt with them Princess." Jack snapped as she took out another assault trooper.

"Jack's right we need to deal with the situation before it spirals completely out of control."

"I think we might be at that point already." Kaidan said worriedly as another shuttle shot out of the hangar and disappeared from view.

"Not yet." She wouldn't let the danger the Adjutants posed leave this station. "We need to stop these things from leaving the station and find Petrovsky."

"We can't leave this station functional." Miranda pointed out.

"Agreed, we'll do what we did to the Collector base but this time we'll need to spread the charges to stop Cerberus from coming back and salvaging what's left." She met each of their gazes in turn. "EDI, Zaeed and James you take the path on the far side of the hangar and skirt around. We'll head through the main sections and draw their attention while you plant the explosives."

As the other team broke off and began heading towards the side entrance Shepard straightened from where she'd been crouched behind a cargo crate and opened fire on the remaining Cerberus operatives, keeping their focus on her while the others slipped into the bowels of the station. Once they were safely out of sight she signalled to her team and they wasted no time in clearing a path out of the hangar. As they made their way to the main corridor leading through the station their pursuers broke off, more interested in saving their own skins and getting off of the station than chasing down the intruders. They moved quickly and efficiently, years of fighting and combat experience with Shepard allowing them to instinctively move as a unit. What little resistance they encountered was easily dealt with but as they passed deeper into the station Shepard began seeing facilities that looked all too familiar. Memories of Palaven threatened to surface but she ruthlessly tamped them down all the while hoping that she would not have to face such a sight again.

Unfortunately she wasn't the only one to notice though she shouldn't have been surprised that Miranda would pick up on the similarities having nearly lost her life there. "These laboratories look a lot like the ones we saw before."

"At least these tables seem empty." She pointed out grimly as they placed the charges strategically through the rooms.

They continued following the main route as it wounds its way through the station, pausing only long enough to place more charges down some of the smaller detours. As they rounded the next corner the corridor widened into a large foyer clearly intended to serve as a communal area for the staff flanked by doors and smaller hallways leading off in different directions. Out of the corner of her eye Shepard caught a glimpse of movement and dove behind cover, aiming her assault rifle at the Adjutant that was slowly stepping out of the one of the hallways.

As she prepared to fire she heard Miranda shift behind her. "I think we've got a problem."

All around the hall Adjutants were stalking forwards, their eyes focussed on Shepard and her team with sick hunger. They slowly backed up towards the centre of the room as more of the creatures began filing in behind them. Shepard's mind raced as they found themselves surrounded by an ever increasing number of husks. They would have no choice but to fight their way out but with the speed that these things teleported across a battlefield tracking them would be almost impossible. Even if the three biotics could grab them in a stasis field it would still leave others free to charge forwards.

"Don't let your guard down for a second. These things are fast."

As the first Adjutant let out a roar and began to charge forwards they opened fire, targeting the ones closest to them first. A few teleported within range only to be quickly hurled aside with biotic throws but it wasn't enough to keep the creatures at bay. Shepard slammed another clip home and drew on all of her training and experience to make every shot count but the husks kept on coming.

"There're too many of them!" Kaidan called to her as he flung another Adjutant away from them.

"Jack!" Miranda shouted as the blue glow of her biotics enveloped her. Turning Jack met Miranda's gaze for a long moment before giving a barely perceptible nod. Grabbing her outstretched hand Jack swung into place at her back as her own powers flared. "Alenko, protect Shepard!"

"Let's do this Lawson." Back to back the two women brought the full extent of their powers to bear, the glow brightening until it hurt to look at them.

The adjutants swarmed closer as they focussed on the powerful biotics and Shepard fired round and round into them in an attempt to keep them back. As the creatures got within touching distance Miranda and Jack unleashed a powerful biotic attack, putting their full power behind it as Kaidan grabbed Shepard around the waist and yanked her into the dubious safety of a doorway, putting himself between her and the blast as he brought up a biotic barrier around them. Hands gripping his arms she watched as he gritted his teeth against the strain of maintaining the barrier against the force of the blast. She'd always known that Kaidan was a powerful biotic so to see him shake with the effort of holding off the force of their combined attack told her just how strong the explosive power was. The biotic blast travelled outwards, utterly ruthless as it tore through everything in its path, slamming the Adjutants against – and in some cases through – the reinforced walls.

As the power dissipated Kaidan brought down the barrier, sagging slightly in relief. Once she was sure he was ok she hurried over to where Miranda and Jack stood looking slightly dumbfounded. Though they were both breathing hard from the exertion the women shared a smug look as a quick glance showed that all of the Adjutants lay dead where they had been hurled.

"Well that worked." Miranda remarked casually.

"Shepard are you alright?" EDI's worried voice came over the comm channel having picked up the explosion of energy at their location.

"We're ok EDI." She reassured the AI as she spied a door that seemed out of place with the others.

Gesturing to the others they walked forward cautiously, keeping an eye out for any movement around them. Reaching the door they found it secured and as Shepard used her omni-tool to override the locks the others remained alert until finally the door hissed open and they gained access to the private offices beyond. Two troopers stood guard but they were dispatched quickly leaving only the lone figure standing by the window overlooking the remains of the Collector base and the roiling core. His tall frame rigid with military bearing the widow's peak and van dyke beard lent the man's face an almost cruel look in the muted light. The displeasure was clear in Oleg Petrovsky's voice despite the brief glimpse of relief that flickered over his features.

"I never thought I would live to see the day that I would be pleased to see _you._"

"We're not here to save you."

He snorted as he finally met her eyes, his words couched in sarcasm. "I know all about you Shepard - the legendary Commander of the Normandy and apparent saviour of us all. I don't know whether I'm expected to salute or grovel at your feet."

"You should be begging the forgiveness of the people whose lives you destroyed." Miranda spat.

"Ah yes, the traitor. The Illusive Man was most displeased when you turned your back on Cerberus and everything he'd given you."

"Everything I have is because of my own abilities." Miranda shot back.

"Just put a bullet in his head and be done with it." Jack advised, disgust evident on her face.

Petrovsky gave them a mocking smile. "Oh she won't do that will you Shepard? You're an idealist who believes that we can somehow find a way to coexist amongst races that consider us inferior, attempting to find peaceful solutions when clearly more drastic action is required. No you would never harm an innocent."

"Don't try to convince me that you're innocent, I've seen the torture carried out under your orders. I'm here to see that you pay for those crimes."

"We're both soldiers and you know it's never that straightforward. How many choices have you had to make for the greater good? How many lives did you sacrifice without hesitation because it was the only way?"

"There's no excuse for the things that you've done but when you have the Reapers pulling the strings I guess anything becomes acceptable."

"I was never controlled by them!" He denied vehemently, the cold mask slipping to reveal the depth of his rage. "We knew what we were doing, we had it under control but you ruined everything! Humanity is at risk and yet you would prefer to sit and pander to the Council!" He spat.

"The Illusive Man went too far." She retorted angrily. "Whatever his ideals were in the beginning they became as corrupted as he was the minute he started working for the Reapers."

Petrovsky hesitated. "He may have been misguided in his belief that he could control the Reapers but everything he did was to benefit humanity."

"Do you honestly think that will bring comfort to the families of those that you murdered?" She was appalled at his attempts to justify his actions.

His face twisted into a snarl. "You stand there and judge me but where would you be without Cerberus? You were nothing more than a burned out corpse, a dead hero thrown away like a piece of yesterday's trash, abandoned by the Alliance and everyone you cared about. Without Cerberus you would be nothing more than a footnote – forgotten. We gave you your life back."

The words hit the mark and she felt Kaidan stiffen defensively behind her but there was no way she was going to be drawn into a rash action by such an obvious ploy. "And I did what I was brought back to do, save humanity from the Reapers and from you."

"Everything we've done has been to protect humanity!"

"I saw the experiments Cerberus performed with the Thorian on Feros and with Reaper tech on Sanctuary and Palaven. Those were humans that you sacrificed along with any other race you could get your hands on! You even implanted it in your own soldiers." She gestured to one of the corpses on the ground. "Take a look at their faces and tell me that's helping humanity."

Regret flickered across his features. "I tried to protect my men."

"By turning them into husks?" Shepard's incredulity was clear on her face.

"That wasn't my call but the benefits of that technology are too important to ignore."

"I've heard it all before. I didn't buy it from the Illusive Man and he was a lot more convincing."

"It was a mistake bringing you back Shepard but it's one that can easily be rectified." With surprising speed Petrovsky lunged forward attempting to knock the pistol from her hand but Shepard was ready for him, blocking the move and smashing the butt of the pistol into his jaw. Another cross followed by an uppercut sent Petrovsky staggering backwards.

He started to reach for one of the discarded weapons but froze as a strange look crossed his face. Disbelief marred his features at the blood dripping from the wound in his side as the Adjutant rose from where it had teleported behind him and thrust one of its claws into his back. Without hesitation Shepard's team raised their weapons and fired at the creature as Kaidan brought up a barrier to try and stop any others teleporting close to them. Shrieking the husk fell to the gunfire but it was too late for Petrovsky.

"Make sure there aren't any others." Shepard ordered her team as she stepped forward and put an extra couple of bullets in the Adjutant's head.

Petrovsky sank to his knees staring at his blood covered hands as if he couldn't believe what had just happened to him. Lifting his head he met Shepard's gaze and she could see the understanding in them – he was infected.

"Shepard." Her name fell brokenly from his lips as fear filled his expression. In a stroke the once powerful and self-important general had been reduced to a dying man whose very DNA was being rewritten by the technology he'd sought so hard to control. It seemed fitting somehow.

"The area's clear Commander." Kaidan reported though licks of blue biotic energy still flickered across his armour, he wasn't going to take any chances.

"Are the timers set?"

"Setting the last one now." Miranda confirmed from where she knelt prepping the last explosive.

It was time to put an end to this horror show and get her people home. Contacting the other team she issued the order. "Everyone back to the shuttle."

"Wait! You're not just going to leave me like this are you?" Desperation tinged Petrovsky's voice.

Miranda took a threatening step forward. "This is the least you deserve."

Petrovsky ignored her, holding Shepard's gaze. "Commander – please - from one soldier to another."

"Shepard we need to go." Kaidan stood at her shoulder.

She nodded. "You go ahead. I'll be right behind you." He hesitated but did as she asked.

Waiting until she heard them leave the room she raised her pistol and saw Petrovsky swallow hard as he closed his eyes. "Thank you Commander."

As the echo of the gunshot echoed around the room Shepard barely spared a backward glance as she turned to run out of the office, vaulting over fallen furniture and back down the hallway towards the shuttle bay. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted movement but kept going, pushing forward through the maze of hallways that twisted through the station. Rounding a corner she spotted Kaidan, Jack and Miranda at the doors waiting.

"Move your ass Shepard!" Jack shouted but as her foot touched the ground an explosion blinded her. Buffeted by the shockwave Shepard had a split second to realize what was happening before the floor collapsed beneath her and she fell.


	29. Chapter 29

Shepard knew from the piercing pain that something was horribly wrong. Shifting to try and sit upright she bit back a cry of pain as she saw the piece of rebar sticking up through the armour at her shoulder. The explosion had ripped through the hallway causing the floor to collapse and dropping her onto the newly created rubble on the lower level. Glancing up she saw that the rubble had filled in behind her making it impossible to reach her team on the floor above. The situation wasn't good but looking around her at the mass of debris she knew it could have been a hell of a lot worse. A glance at the timer on her omni-tool showed that they had very little time left to get back to the shuttle before the bombs they'd planted would go off, destroying the station and anything left on it.

"Shepard are you alright?" Kaidan's worried voice came over the comms.

With a sinking heart she knew she had to get her team off of the station. "I'm fine get back to the shuttles. I'll meet you there." The lie rolled easily off of her tongue. She wasn't going down without a fight but neither was she prepared to sacrifice the lives of her crew if they couldn't get to her in time.

Bracing her hands on either side of her she gritted her teeth and with a mighty heave lifted her upper body clear of the impaling metal. Collapsing forward she grasped her chest panting as sweat ran down her brow from the pain searing through her. After a moment she pulled her knees under her, pushing herself up until she was kneeling. One hand probed the wound, coming away bloody but it looked as if she hadn't hit an artery which meant she still had a little time. A quick application of medi-gel helped to slow the bleeding but it wasn't enough. It hurt to breathe but she pushed the thought away as she forced herself to her feet, abandoning her assault rifle on the ground. There was no way she would be able to manage the recoil of the rifle in her current state, her arm was almost useless. She took a few shaky steps before she felt as if she could trust her balance. Holding her arm crossed over her chest she moved through the wreckage of the hallway, trying to find a clear path back to the hangar bay. The timer was a constant reminder to move faster, to push her to get there in time. She had promises to keep and a mission to finish but as she turned the corner and saw the Normandy through the windows she felt a chill of realization go through her.

_They're too close._ Even as fast as the Normandy was she might struggle to outrun the blast through the debris field if Joker didn't leave soon. Forcing herself into a jog that made every step agony Shepard switched over to a private comms channel.

"EDI."

"Shepard your vital sensors indicate that you have been wounded." The AI sounded concerned.

"I'll be fine EDI but I need you to do something for me."

"Of course."

"I might not make it to the shuttle bay in time. Get the others back to the Normandy and get them away from here."

"Jeff and the crew will not willingly leave you behind."

"Then if that's what it comes to you have to make him."

"Shepard I cannot force Jeff to fly against his will."

Putting as much authority in her tone as she could Shepard made her orders explicitly clear. "EDI you _are_ the ship. If I don't make it to a shuttle in time I order you to take control of the flight systems and get the crew safely out of the system."

There was a long silence before EDI finally responded with clear reluctance. "I understand Commander."

"Thank you EDI." Relief flooded herself as she pushed on, determined to get to the others in time – determined to live – but she was starting to feel the effects of blood loss.

She started to jog even though each step jarred her wounded shoulder with splintering pain. _Not much time left. Hurry up!_ She repeated to herself as she made her way through the sterile hallways trying to find the way through.

"Shepard we've gotta go!" The urgency in James's voice spurred her on but she knew she was running out of time.

"Take one of the shuttles. Get clear!" She ordered.

"Commander…..?" Miranda sounded unsure.

"Go! I'll be right behind you." She promised as her vision began to swim and she sagged against the window.

Moments later she saw a streak leave the station and head towards the Normandy. They were safe. Despite her determination she felt a hot tear slip down her cheek. Furious with herself she pushed herself back onto her feet and hurried as best she could towards the hangar. It couldn't be far now….. there was so little time. Her pulse was a pounding beat in her head, her vision wavering as she finally saw the signs for the shuttle bay. Her extremities were so cold and she knew that wasn't a good sign. She stumbled up the last set of stairs as her vision went black around the edges.

_No, I'm not done yet._ Gritting her teeth she surged forward clutching her shoulder and burst through the door into the hangar bay.

_Too late._ She thought as her legs shook and then sagged, unable to hold her weight any longer. Pitching forward onto the ground she managed to catch herself only to cry out when the shock of the landing sent pain lancing through her upper body. Suddenly a pair of strong hands were grabbing her and pulling her up, taking her weight. All she could see was that familiar armour.

"I told you to go."

Kaidan's mouth was set in angry line. "Not this time."

"Come on we've gotta move!" James shouted at them, helping to pull Shepard onto the shuttle.

"Hang on!" Another voice called. _Cortez?_

She felt the shuttle rumble as it lifted off of the ground and then Cortez fired the thrusters forcing the Kodiak to accelerate with bone rattling speed. Kaidan and James held her down as she tried to push herself up into a seated position. As if from a distance she heard herself attempt to reassure them that she was alright but her vision was swimming again and the replies became muffled as she fought the blackness trying to overwhelm her.

_I have to see this through._

It was sheer force of will that got her to her feet and she pushed away the hands trying to support her as she staggered forward to watch the monitors. Cortez tried to be gentle landing the shuttle on the Normandy but time was against them and she winced as she barely caught herself from falling. Staggering out of the shuttle she caught the final glimpse of Avernus Station as the hangar door slammed shut.

"Hang on!" Joker shouted over the comms and she felt Kaidan grab her around the waist and anchor her against the sudden acceleration that caused the Normandy to lurch as Joker worked to get the ship clear before the shock wave hit them.

As the vertigo from passing through the relay hit her and a seeming cacophony of voices filled the hangar Shepard lost the battle against her body and collapsed into unconsciousness with only Kaidan's arms around her stopping her from crashing onto the floor.

* * *

The incessant beeping was the first thing she heard as she slowly swam back into consciousness.

_God I hate that sound._ She thought to herself, finding it all too reminiscent of when she'd woken up in London after the explosion on the Citadel. For the briefest moment she tensed, worried she was still in that hospital with no idea where Kaidan and the crew of the Normandy were but just as quickly other sounds began to filter in – familiar sounds.

As she shifted she heard Kaidan's voice call out. "Dr. Chakwas she's awake!"

Opening her eyes she turned her head slightly to watch Karin Chakwas hurry into the room with a reproachful smile on her face. "Hey Doc."

"You gave us a scare Commander." The other woman chastised.

"What happened?"

She heard Kaidan bite back an oath and when she glanced across the anger was clear in every line of his body. "We managed to get back to the Normandy and hit the relay before the shockwave hit us."

It hadn't been a dream. She closed her eyes in relief. "Is everyone alright?"

"They are now." Chakwas gave her an arch look as she checked Shepard's pupil responses with a penlight and the bandages covering her shoulder keeping her arm strapped into place. "Once your shoulder is healed you'll be just fine."

"Thanks Doc." She felt the numbness in her upper body from the painkillers and though it made her more comfortable she didn't like the feeling of not having full control over her body. At least Karin Chakwas knew her well enough to have given her the lowest dose she could get away with.

When Chakwas stepped back satisfied Kaidan moved closer. "Can you give us a minute please Doctor?"

"Of course, I'll be close by should you need anything."

Neither of them said anything for a long moment after the doctor left. Kaidan seemed torn between relief and wanting to throttle her. Finally the anger seemed to leave him as he turned tired eyes towards her.

"You almost gave me another heart attack. What were you thinking? Why didn't you let us come and help you?"

She gave a wan smile. "I had to make sure you were all safe."

He sighed in defeat as he perched on the edge of her bed and held her hand in both of his, bringing it up to his cheek. "EDI told me about your order. At least you know us all well enough to know that we weren't willingly going to leave you behind."

"Seems like she wasn't going to follow orders either."

"No EDI understood and was going to follow your orders even if it meant taking control of the Normandy away from Joker but she wasn't going to do it unless there was no other choice. I sent Miranda and the others back to the Normandy on one of Cerberus's shuttles while Cortez, James and I stayed back to get you off of the station."

"So much for listening to your Commanding Officer." She said wryly though considering he outranked her she supposed the term was a bit of a misnomer.

"That was one order I couldn't follow." Reaching out he brushed a lock of hair back from her forehead before cupping her cheek. "Nothing you could have said would have convinced me to leave you behind again."

Relishing the warmth of his hand against her skin gave him a bemused look. "What a pair we make."

"At least we can finally put that behind us and figure out what we want to do with our future." He pointed out frowning when Shepard blinked, seeming to remember something at his words. "What?"

"Where are we?"

"We just got back to the Sol System. We're on our way home." Shepard sat up, throwing the blankets back and moving to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I need to get ready to report to Hackett."

"Come on Shepard, the report can wait. You've been unconscious for hours and lost a hell of a lot of blood."

Trying to drag her boots on when one arm was strapped to her chest was a pain but not something she couldn't handle as she gave him a half-grin. "You know it doesn't work that way Kaidan. Besides once I give my report to Hackett and I can tell him that I'm going to take some of that shore leave he owes me."

"Now that's something I can get on board with. I even have a few thoughts on what we can do."

"Will I need to take my armour along?" She quipped as she raised an amused eyebrow.

Shaking his head he gave her a pained look. "No I think we can both leave that behind."

"Are you saying you don't enjoy our frequent forays into unexpected and dangerous areas?" She asked innocently.

Chuckling he hugged her tightly to his side. "I think I'll pass just this once."

Striding out of the med bay she saw a couple of the crew automatically smiled in welcome before their expressions turned to confusion at seeing her up and moving towards the elevator with such determination. Samantha's greeting died on her lips as Shepard walked straight past her with barely a nod, Kaidan shadowing her worriedly.

"Shepard? Are you supposed to be up already?" Joker asked without seeming too surprised that she was.

Ignoring the question she checked their location within the Sol System. "Thanks for pulling our asses out of the fire again Joker."

"Well someone's got to." The pilot retorted with a smug grin.

"At this rate the Alliance is going to want to transfer you to bigger and better things."

He snorted. "Yeah right like I'm going to want to pilot one of those big heavy dreadnoughts instead of my baby. Flying on the Normandy and serving under you is as big as it gets."

"Glad to hear it." She replied with an amused grin as they began their approach to Earth.

* * *

_A couple months later_

It was eerie being back on the Citadel. Repairs were well underway and where large sections of the arms had once been destroyed when the Crucible fired new sections had been seamlessly integrated into the superstructure. It would still take years to complete all of the work but soon it would be ready to move back to the Widow System. It had taken a long time to deal with the huge number of casualties and the remains left behind by the Reapers and Shepard couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the poor souls left behind in the dark hallways she'd stumbled through trying to find Anderson and the control panel. Did the Catalyst VI still inhabit the station? She supposed she might never know. The area around her was a hive of activity as construction teams worked to make this section of the arm habitable again. As with the cities on Earth the various wards had banded together in an attempt to bring some kind of normalcy to what remained of the station. Theoretically it should have been completely safe but Shepard was taking no chances and had arrived in her armour, preferring to have the security of the pressurized seals to keep her from being fatally spaced a second time should the worst happen.

A short shuttle ride took them to what remained of Dr. Garret Bryson's laboratory on the Presidium. Splashes of green foliage and glimmers of sparkling blue water could still be seen but the damage to the previously immaculate ward was extensive. The damage to the environmental systems had yet to be repaired and the artificial sun and clouds that shone above them frequently flickered between light and darkness, barely stable for longer than a five minute interval before glitching again. Unlike the first time they'd come to the lab Kaidan had accompanied her and EDI to the Citadel in case there was a problem. He'd seen the results of her first meeting with the Leviathans and he knew it was a risk to contact them again. Stepping into the office she noticed that it was surprisingly untouched. Aside from damage sustained during the firing of the Crucible it was clear that the lab hadn't yet been ransacked by looters or scavengers in the aftermath of the destruction. As they approached the sphere she felt a wave of relief at seeing the shield still encasing the sphere and preventing the Leviathans from activating it remotely.

As EDI ran diagnostics on the shielding to ensure it was still performing as expected Shepard walked slowly through the rooms. Had Dr. Bryson's daughter Ann come here after their mission to find the Leviathans? She had been working on the Crucible project with Hackett but now that the war was over would she come back to collect her father's personal possessions and research? She caught sight of one of the childish drawings Ann had drawn for her father when she'd been a little girl. Folding it gently Shepard tucked it away under her gauntlet, she would make sure Ann got it so that she would at least have a small reminder of how much her father had loved her. A thought crossed her mind unbidden, would she ever be in that position, holding a piece of her own child's artwork in her hands? Up until now it had never been something she'd considered, the life of a soldier didn't generally lend itself to a stable and secure family life.

_Sentimental fool._ She chided herself. She and Kaidan weren't even married yet and it was not something they'd spoken about. A shadow passed over her features, she didn't even know if she was capable of having children anymore. Perhaps having been given another chance at life was enough of a miracle for her.

"Shepard, it appears that the shields are completely intact and functioning normally." EDI interrupted her thoughts. She caught the questioning look on Kaidan's face but she ignored it, this was not the time.

Focussing on the task at hand she walked over to the sphere, dragging a chair across to support her while she attempted to speak to the Leviathans. She knew from first-hand experience that communicating with them was not a pleasant experience and the memory of the cold and darkness she'd found herself in had yet to fade from her mind. This meeting had already been put off for long enough. She had wanted to wait until the injury to her shoulder had healed to ensure that she did not appear to have any outward signs of weakness. They would delve into her mind, see her thoughts and memories and she knew that if they chose to they could keep her trapped in one of their minds until they had no further use for her. It was a risk she had to take.

"Ok EDI you know what you have to do."

"Yes Shepard though the risk of bringing up the shield should they not release their hold on your mind could damage your psyche beyond repair."

"That's just a chance I'll have to take." With a deep breath she steadied herself before nodding to the AI. She had a moment to notice the artefact begin to pulse and swirl with colour before her mind was yanked into that cold dark space.

"_Why have you come here?" The deep voice rumbled, echoing around her. A figure materialized in front of her, it seemed the Leviathan would project itself as Ann Bryson this time._

"_I want to know what you intend to do now that the Reapers have been destroyed."_

"_Who are you to demand such answers from us?" The words were spoken derisively. Clearly her actions had done little to change their opinion of the galactic races. "Your kind is small, insignificant – your existence futile. You could no more understand our purpose than you could stop the galaxy from spinning."_

"_Do you intend to come out of hiding?" She persisted, the pressure on her mind enormous as the sheer power of the Leviathan's mind bore down on her._

"_You may have stopped the cycle of destruction but your civilization is fragile and while you may have averted your end for now it is inevitable that your societies will collapse. It is in your nature. Our plans are immaterial to one such as you."_

_Shepard fought against the immense weight chaining her consciousness. "It matters if you decide that you want to reassert your dominance over our galaxy."_

_The Leviathan's voice was matter of fact as it spoke. "We could bring order to the chaos, stop the inevitable cycle of hatred and destruction that haunts your species and those of the galaxy. There could be peace."_

"_We don't want the kind of peace you're offering." She ground out. "The Reapers tried to do the same thing and I destroyed them."_

"_The intelligence you call Reapers were our creatures, it appears they were – imperfect. It is not a mistake that will be made again."_

"_Your 'mistake' caused untold cycles of destruction and wiped out hundreds of sentient species. We know what you are now and what you're capable of. I won't stand idly by if you choose to threaten what I've fought so hard to save."_

_There was a long pause until the vision of Ann Bryson disappeared. "Goodbye Commander Shepard, we will not speak again."_

With a gasp Shepard shot upright, scrambling backwards across the floor of the lab where she had fallen as her breath laboured in and out. She heard Kaidan shout at EDI to bring the shield back up and then he was there. "Shepard are you alright?"

Putting up a restraining hand she nodded as her breathing returned to normal. The cold was bone deep but the feeling was starting to return. Her pulse beat a painful tattoo in her head and a warm trickle above her lip told her that the sheer force of fighting their control had cause another nosebleed. "I'm alright just cold."

"Did you get an answer from them?" His brown eyes watched her with concern as she wiped away the blood.

"I don't think they're going to be a threat to us."

"Is that what they said?"

"No but I felt enough of their mind to know. They took my warning seriously."

Sitting back on his heels Kaidan shook his head. "Only you would find it normal to threaten a race as powerful as the Leviathans and expect them to listen. But I hope you're right."

As she got to her feet and walked slowly back to the shuttle she knew that she was. She would never be able to know what their true motivations were but one thing was certain; when they'd broken off contact with her mind she had caught an impression of one overwhelming emotion – fear. They might consider themselves the apex species in the galaxy but they had trawled her memories and they'd seen the Reapers fall by her hand. Perhaps centuries from now they would re-emerge from hiding and attempt to establish a place for themselves in the galaxy but until then they would not risk the few that remained of their species against the civilizations that had destroyed the creatures they themselves had fallen prey to. As for the artefact it would be transported to a secure location elsewhere on the Citadel where it could be monitored and studied under strict conditions. The shielding would remain firmly in place and strict processes would be put into place to ensure that none of the researchers became indoctrinated.

As the shuttle touched down close to where the Normandy was docked she stepped out first only to find a familiar and unwelcome figure turn towards her. Out of all of the people who had lost their lives on the Citadel it shouldn't have come as any surprise that she'd survived.

"Commander Shepard!" The reporter hurried towards her. "Khalisah al-Jilani, Westerlund News."

"What do you want Miss al-Jilani?" It didn't matter how many years she'd dealt with the woman she still couldn't stand her and it remained an effort to stay polite and diplomatic.

"My viewers want some answers." A few taps on her omni tool and the news camera accompanying her whirred into life, shining a bright light into Shepard's face. What followed was a barrage of questions about the Crucible and Shepard's actions aboard the Citadel which she deflected with consummate skill. Eventually the reporter realized that she was not going to get anything more from the close-mouthed Commander and ended the interview with barely veiled frustration. Raising an amused eyebrow as the woman stalked away muttering about needing to file her story Shepard put her out of her mind and they continued walking towards the Normandy.

Kaidan chuckled softly beside her. "You know I just realized that it won't matter how long we're married, you're always going to be Shepard."

She shrugged, grinning. "Somehow I don't think Mrs. Alenko is going to have the same effect the next time I have to go and straighten out some diplomatic squabble."

"Clearly they have yet to meet our kids." He teased and just like that her heart thudded, her earlier thoughts rushing back.

Deciding to avoid that discussion for now she tilted her head to look at him. "Will it bother you? Those who would need to know would know."

He reached out and gently brushed back a wayward strand of her hair as they stepped through the doors to the docking platform. "No that won't be what bothers me. I guess I just hoped that after a while you would be able to just be you instead of the icon they all make of you."

She smiled gently. "We both know that's never going to happen. But that's just the public's perception of me, I'm quite happy for our marriage and what happens between us to be private."

"Well as private as we can manage with bulldogs like that after you." He pulled a face jerking his thumb in the direction Khalisah had gone.

"Don't forget the Alliance and the Council." She reminded him with a mischievous grin as they stepped through the Normandy's airlock.

Giving a mock groan of despair he hooked an arm around her waist and drew her in for a quick kiss. "What have I let myself in for?"

"Only time will tell." She replied flippantly as she stepped away and walked towards the bridge, waiting until EDI had taken her customary seat beside Joker. As the docking clamps released and the pilot eased the ship away from the station she looked out at the blue planet nestled amongst the stars. "Let's head home Joker."


	30. Chapter 30 - Epilogue

**A/N: At long last we've made it to the end of my fanfic and I'm sure some of you are breathing a sigh of relief! I want to say a special thank you to ScarGlamour for beta-ing each chapter and Kyriene and LastFadingSmile for their endless support. I also want to thank everyone who took the time to read this, to write such thoughtful reviews and have favourited / followed it over all these months. I sincerely hope you've all had as much fun reading it as I have had writing it and that you enjoy this final chapter.**

* * *

The pen clattered across the desk as she released a sigh of frustration. It was her own stupid fault thinking she should write this letter by hand instead of typing it out and putting it on a datapad. She'd convinced herself at the time that it would be more personal this way seeing it written in her own hand instead of a sterile computer font. But now as yet another piece of paper was waded up into a ball and tossed in the trash she frowned at the blank sheet of paper in front of her. Ok, so maybe it wasn't the pen and paper that was making this difficult. She just didn't know what to write. How do you find the words to say goodbye to someone you've loved for so long, had experienced so much with? Because that's what this was – a goodbye. She knew her time was finite, could feel her body starting to slowly fail. It was entirely possible that she still had years ahead of her but if she had learned anything it was that life could be taken away in the blink of an eye without warning. She wanted to make sure that when the time came she could face the end without regret. The fact that she'd had so many years already was a miracle and would have been completely impossible had it not been for Miranda. She'd been brought back from the dead once to finish what she'd started. She'd done that and so much more besides. There were many things she'd expected from her life but it had turned out to be more than she could have ever dreamed. She'd faced hardships she hadn't been sure she would survive but she'd always believed that death would find her on the battlefield, gun in hand doing what she was trained to do. Instead she now found herself an old woman sitting at a desk staring out over English Bay with fingers that ached with slight arthritis when the weather became cold trying to figure out how to say goodbye to her family and the love of her life.

The sound of laughter floated through the window that stood slightly ajar to let the subtle fragrance of the spring flowers into the room. Glancing out she saw two of her grandchildren chase each other across the lawn under the watchful eye of their father and grandfather. Seated on the patio in a matching pair of garden loungers the two men were sharing a few beers in the warmth of the afternoon sun. An affectionate smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she gazed across at her husband. He was still as handsome to her today as he had been the first time she'd seen him on the Normandy SR-1. It hadn't always been smooth sailing but the love between them had never wavered and she cherished each memory they'd created together. She wouldn't change any of it for the world. As if feeling the weight of her gaze Kaidan lifted a hand to shade his eyes and looked over to where she sat. Even at this distance she could see the loving smile that creased his face before he tilted his head, indicating she should join them. She lifted a finger in response; soon. Giving herself a firm mental shake she turned back to the task at hand.

_Kaidan,_

_I've been trying to write this letter for the past week and I still don't know how to start. You've always been better at finding the right words, no matter how much you've teased me about all of the speeches I've had to make over the years._

_They say that history forgets everyone eventually and I suppose time will tell how our actions are remembered. The people behind the names, their quirks, their failings - the real people that you and I were will fade in time but a part of us will always live on in our children and all that really matters is that we saved that future for them._

_After the first Normandy was shot down I thought I would never have a second chance with you but somehow we managed to find one another again. You brought me love and joy and the family I never thought I would have. Without you I was lost. You've been my light in the darkness, always giving me the strength to keep fighting. _

_No matter how much time I have left in this life I want you to know that my heart will always be yours just as it has been over all these years. I don't think I ever believed that I would survive the Reapers, the odds always seemed stacked too high against us but somehow we made it through. I look at our beautiful kids, all of them grown and the boys with families of their own and know that I would have never had any of this without you. As you said to me all those years ago, I never would have dreamed of the life I've had and I owe it all to you._

_We both know that the cybernetics can't stop the inevitable and when the time comes that I take my last breath I know that you will be the memory I hold in my heart. Whatever waits for us after this life I'll be waiting for you._

_All my love forever,_

_S._

Hesitating, she read over the words again before gently folding the paper and sliding it into an envelope. Sealing it she pressed it to her lips briefly as tears pricked her eyes. Age really had turned her into a sentimental fool she thought ruefully as she wrote Kaidan's name on the envelope and put it in the desk drawer. Pushing her chair back she got to her feet frowning as some of her old wounds ached in protest at the movement but the sun was warm on her skin as she stepped out onto the patio behind the boys.

"There you are." Kaidan immediately turned to smile at her, stretching out a hand for her to join him. His eyes danced with laughter as he teased her. "Diplomatic catastrophe averted?"

He still made her heart skip a beat whenever he smiled at her like that. Sinking down onto the arm of his chair she pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he slid an arm around her. "For now."

"They probably just stopped arguing because they didn't want you to come over and smack them with your cane." Their son David teased from his seat beside them.

"I'll get a cane the day you beat my scores on Pinnacle Station." She shot back with a mischievous grin.

He waved a hand dismissively. "Bah we all know you tampered with those when they rebuilt that place."

"You've been talking to Garrus again." Kaidan chuckled as he gave her an affectionate squeeze.

Their attention was drawn by the stampeding approach of the children who skidded to a stop just in time to stop themselves tripping over the patio's edge. In unison they beamed at Kaidan eagerly, both clutching a model starship tightly in their hands.

"Grandpa can you do it again? _Pleeeease_?" Alex asked almost vibrating in youthful excitement as his sister gave her grandfather her best pleading look.

Shooting his wife a wink he pushed himself to his feet and walked out onto the lawn with an arm around each child. As they held the ships out Kaidan's hands flared with carefully controlled biotic energy. Both children erupted in shrieks of joy as he lifted the toys from their hands until they were floating in front of them. With subtle motions he sent the ships flying around the garden as Alex and Chiara ran after them giving voice to the epic space journey unfolding in their imaginations. Content amongst her family Shepard watched the three of them, filled with love and pride. Combat trained to use his biotics as a weapon she knew how tightly he had leashed his powers around their children and now their grandchildren. Lifting those model ships was a simple feat for him but he had never wanted to risk even the slightest loss of control that could harm his family.

"Mom are you ok?" David asked gently, a worried look on his face.

Meeting the eyes that seemed to be the mirror of her own she felt her heart squeeze. He took after her in so many ways but he was his own man refusing to live under the shadow of expectation others had placed on their children. She and Kaidan had always wanted their children to follow their dreams but David had always felt it was his duty to join the Alliance and become a Marine like his famous parents. With a pang she remembered him as a young man looking at her with an earnest expression beyond his years telling her that they had given the galaxy a future and that it was his responsibility to make sure it was a future worth fighting for. And where David led his brother Thane was always sure to follow though as a biotic he had had a harder time of it. Only their daughter Ashley had chosen a different path and Shepard couldn't have been prouder of all of her children.

She gave her eldest a reassuring smile. "I'm fine."

Unfortunately for her one of the traits David had inherited was her stubbornness. "I know the look you get when you're thinking about work and that wasn't it. You looked sad and since I know it has nothing to do with dad it makes me think that something is wrong."

_That boy is too smart for his own good._

"Just getting old kiddo." She replied lightly.

He gave an inelegant snort. "I don't think that's possible. Hell when you put that armour on you still put the rest of my unit to shame."

"Well then it's a good thing there isn't much call for me to suit up anymore."

"Do you miss it?"

She laughed. "What is there to miss since the Alliance and the Council don't seem willing to let me retired gracefully."

"You could walk away whenever you wanted to we both know that." He frowned thoughtfully. "There was a time when I used to wish that you would."

Reaching over to squeeze his hand she gave a sad smile. "I know and for what it's worth I'm sorry."

He immediately shook his head. "No mom you've got nothing to be sorry for. You were always there for us. Other kids had parents that were on constant rotation and when they got back it was like meeting a stranger. You and dad were never like that. I guess part of me just hated sharing you with everyone. You were my mom and I was too young to get the enormity of who you were and what you'd done. It took me a long time to understand that." Looking over at his kids his brow furrowed. "How did you and dad manage it?"

"It was never easy." She admitted. "We just did the best we could and I'll be the first to admit that there were times when I failed spectacularly."

He shook his head with a fond grin. "I remember how dad nearly had a meltdown when you were eight months pregnant with Ashley and went out on the Normandy for a 'quick run'."

"It was a quick run!" She protested lamely.

"Come on mom you were out there trying to stop the Volus ambassador from being taken out by rogue Krogan clan." Seeing her unrepentant look he rolled his eyes.

"I was never in any danger and your dad knew that too, his emotions just got the better of him. That clan might have tried to splinter away from Clan Urdnot but after so many years of sterility the Krogan would never have raised a weapon on a pregnant female. I never even had to draw a gun."

"Your mother has always had the uncanny ability to beat the odds, a fact for which I am eternally grateful." Kaidan interjected having caught the tail end of the conversation. Bending down he gave her a quick kiss. "Though you've given me your fair share of near heart attacks and grey hairs over the years."

"It just makes you look more handsome and distinguished." She grinned at the bemused look he aimed at her as he went back to where the kids had begun a furious debate about whose ship was the best.

"You always told us that we had a responsibility greater than ourselves and with everything I've seen I finally understand what you meant." He glanced at the little boy and girl that meant the world to him. "But I worry about them if something should ever happen to me. I know they worry about me just like we used to worry about you and dad."

"All you can do is take it one day at a time and do the best you can. It's all any of us can do."

"You're a pretty hard act to follow."

"I never wanted you to follow anything except what made you happy. I did what I had to do and so did you father. We're so proud of all of you."

He leant over and kissed her cheek. "I love you mom, don't know what we would do without you."

* * *

Kaidan gently cupped his wife's face in his frail hands, almost unable to believe that she was gone. That spark that had always burned so brightly within her, had drawn everyone to her and had captured him heart, mind and soul was forever extinguished. Tears ran unchecked down his cheeks as he mourned the death of his soul mate. Stepping back he felt his sons place comforting hands on his shoulders while his daughter wound her arms around him, her own tears damp against his shoulder but his grief was too raw, too deep for him to be strong for them now.

The funeral was held in Vancouver only a stone's throw away from English Bay where they had spent so many happy years together and that seemed right to him. He could still remember that time long ago when he'd told her about those nights having a beer on the balcony overlooking the bay and how he'd thought that he would never have the chance to share that with her. She had always taken his breath away with her quick wit and engaging smile, the no nonsense Commander and the doting mother. The Alliance had requested the honour of arranging the funeral of the woman who had saved the galaxy and become a legend. While he'd selfishly wanted to keep it private he knew that there had been a part of her that had always belonged to the Alliance and that the people of Earth needed a chance to mourn their Commander Shepard. Her death had sent shockwaves through the galactic community as if the thought of a galaxy without her in it was inconceivable. He'd always known that she'd touched countless people's lives but seeing the outpouring of reaction had been stunning. It was as if they simply did not know what would happen without her to step in and keep the peace when it seemed likely to fracture. They had all relied on her for so long that she had ceased to simply be an Alliance soldier – a Human – she had simply been Commander Shepard, a beacon to all the races. It hadn't mattered that she'd been promoted to Admiral not long after the war, the rank had stuck. She would have been bemused by the reaction. _I'm just a soldier._ She would have stated with an expression that showed that that was exactly how she thought of herself, nothing more and nothing less.

_You were that my love and so much more._

He felt every year of his age as they were escorted to the ceremony. Their daughter Ashley walked beside him, letting him hold on to her arm so that he could forgo the cane he sometimes relied on when his joints began to ache. Kaidan could feel her worry as she watched him like a hawk for any sign that the strain was too much but he ignored it. She understood better than most how much her father wanted to stand proud and strong as they buried his wife.

The site that had been chosen was on top of a small hill looking out over the city and towards the ocean but his steps faltered as he took in the sheer number of people there. Representatives of all the races were there in force including Councillor Tevos and the rest of the Galactic Council. Catching his eye she bowed her head respectfully, both all too aware that she owed her life to the woman they were remembering. David and Thane's wives sat holding their younger children tightly with brave faces, not wanting to upset them. Standing with them at the front of the assembled mourners were some old familiar faces. Miranda and her adopted daughter Annabeth, Garrus and Tali, Jack, Cortez, EDI, James, Samara, Kasumi, Grunt, Wrex and Bakara waited beside Liara and the other surviving crew from the Normandy.

Liara gave Ashley's arm a comforting squeeze before stepping forward to embrace him gently. "Kaidan, I'm so sorry for your loss."

"We all lost her, not just me." But he knew it wasn't the same.

"There are too many words to say and all of them are inadequate. Shepard was," she trailed off. "Shepard."

He knew there was no other way to put it. She had always been a force of nature, doing whatever it took to get the job done, to do everything within her ability to do what she believed to be right.

Silence fell over the crowd as the pallbearers led by their sons carried the coffin towards her final resting place. Both men wore their full dress uniform with the iconic N7 designation they'd both worked so hard to achieve. Trying to hide their emotions behind professionally stoic expressions their red ringed eyes showed the depth of their grief. As he listened to the eulogies delivered by friends, colleagues and the representatives of the other races he felt his heart swell with pride even as he held back the tears. Many shared stories of her heroism, her indomitable spirit and her courage. Her friends told stories of the woman they had known behind name, the friend who had helped them without thought to her own safety, the Commander they had all stood beside with pride. Even Miranda had been uncharacteristically open with her emotions as she'd spoken of the friend she hadn't deserved but had worked hard to make proud.

* * *

After the twenty one gun salute had been fired, the flag folded and the condolences shared Kaidan slowly walked away from his wife's grave with a heavy heart. He'd barely been able to keep it together as he'd watched them lower her remains into the ground but as he saw the old crew gathered and waiting for him by the shuttle he knew that he had to be strong long enough for one last thing. As the door slid closed he caught the torn expressions on his children's faces. They'd wanted to be there for this but he had refused, this was something he and the crew had to do themselves. The shuttle ride passed in silence, each of them lost in their own memories, coping with their own feelings of grief and loss. As Cortez brought the shuttle into the landing pad Kaidan steeled himself and if the looks from the others were any indication they were trying to do the same. He had expected the docking bay to be quiet but it was full of Alliance men and women all in their dress blues. The lights blazed brightly overhead and there she was - the ship that had carried her Commander into countless battles and had brought her crew home safely each time. As they made their way slowly towards the ship the engineers, technicians and servicemen and woman all moved aside and saluted. Stepping into the airlock Kaidan found himself shaking and for a moment wasn't sure he could go any further but Miranda placed a hand on his arm and in her face he could see the same sadness that gripped him. The ship was empty, lonely. This would be her last flight.

After Shepard's promotion to Admiral she had been given the pick of any Alliance ship but she had refused to turn over command of the Normandy, insisting that no other ship would do. Many of the regular crew were eventually reassigned or accepted new roles within the Alliance but a few faces never changed. Despite offers for promotion and assignments on other ships or as a training officer Joker stubbornly insisted that his place was on the Normandy with Shepard and with EDI. Over the years she had ensured that the ship had been fitted with the latest upgrades and, thanks largely to EDI and the engineering team still led by Daniels and Donnelly, the Normandy had remained one of the fastest and most effective warships in the Alliance navy.

The reputation of the ship and her Commander had been such that whenever they arrived at the scene of a dispute or conflict all involved knew that an end would be put to hostilities one way or another. After the attempted revolt of the Batarian Hegemony it had been Shepard's presence that had brought the feuding parties to the table to negotiate. Not surprisingly Shepard had never accepted the role the Alliance had envisaged for her, opting instead to do things her way and by doing so had continued to be the soldier and diplomat that the galaxy had needed her to be. Hackett had once ruefully shaken his head and with a smile exclaimed that somehow she had managed to become the sword and shield for all the races while serving the Alliance. By refusing to play the political game and turning down the opportunity to become the human Councillor the first human Spectre had been viewed by many as an impartial mediator in conflicts, known for doing what was best for the people involved rather than simply looking out for Human and Alliance interests.

Now as she stepped onto the flight deck EDI paused at the pilot's chair, her hand slowly running over the headrest. It had been a couple of years since they'd lost Joker to complications from Vroliks Syndrome and EDI had never been the same. The Alliance had assigned Shepard a new helmsman but EDI had resisted, continuously pointing out the man's faults and his lack of ability when compared to the Normandy's legendary pilot. After a while Shepard had intervened and though the relationship had never been warm between the AI and the pilot they had at least been able to work together effectively. For this flight however Cortez had insisted on flying the ship. Though he had never piloted a frigate - let alone the Normandy - he and EDI had agreed that it was only right that someone who had known and loved the Commander and been through hell and back with her should fly the ship on her final voyage. EDI turned the pilot's seat, nodding at Cortez to take the helm but he hesitated. Once he sat down and brought the ship's systems online they all knew it would truly be a farewell.

As Cortez acclimatized himself to the consoles and the ship's flight controls the others drifted back towards the CIC. Memories assailed all of them and Kaidan felt the ghost of a smile tug at his mouth as he listened to the others recount stories of their time on the ship. Wrex and Liara joked about the situations they'd gotten themselves into on the original SR-1 and Wrex admitted that even he had been a little scared of Shepard after she'd gone toe to toe with him on Virmire without blinking an eye. Slipping away Kaidan found himself standing outside the doors to her quarters. As the door slid open and he stepped into the empty room the silence hit him first. The fish tank was dark and empty, drained of water and all of her personal effects had been boxed and sent to their home. The bed was bare and even the private terminal had been removed. Stepping up to the desk he pulled out the small photograph he'd brought with him and placed it on the bare surface. The screen lit up and there she was in her dress blues looking out from the frame with that half-smile of hers. Turning away before it became too much for him he joined the others as they made their way down to the crew deck as Miranda, Jack and Kasumi shared anecdotes about their time with Shepard chasing down the Collectors, each admitting they'd never expected that the mission would change their lives quite so dramatically. Finally they all went off in different directions, revisiting the parts of the ship that held the most meaning to them. They had all experienced so much and every step brought a flood of memories. Shepard was everywhere on this ship and Kaidan half expected to turn around and see her standing by the galley joking with Vega or walking towards the gun battery to speak with Garrus. Everything still felt so familiar. If he closed his eyes he could picture it all so clearly in his mind and he shook his head ruefully at his own fanciful notion that if he only held it in his mind's eye tightly enough Shepard would be there telling him to suit up for another mission. She was everywhere but she was gone.

Bringing the thrusters online, the docking clamps released and Cortez eased the ship gently out of her dock. As he banked the ship away from the city and into the sky Kaidan stood in the Starboard Observation room, watching as the Normandy flew up towards the stars for the very last time. As the world passed by below them he remembered one night so very long ago now when Thane had woken from a nightmare. Shepard had climbed into bed with him and held him tightly as he'd cried, murmuring reassurances and love to their young son. Eventually he'd looked up at her and asked whether she ever suffered nightmares. They'd shared a brief knowing look before she'd smiled gently at Thane and told him that while she sometimes had nightmares she always banished them by thinking of her good dreams.

_What do you dream about mama?_ He'd asked her with a child's insatiable curiosity.

She had pointed to the window and very softly replied. _I dream about the stars._

Thane had turned to her with wide eyes. _Have you seen all of the stars?_

_No but one day I want to show you the beauty that's out there waiting to be discovered and shared. Every single one is unique and special, just like you._ As his imagination had grabbed onto that thought he'd snuggled down back under the covers, the nightmare forgotten. With infinite tenderness she'd kissed the top of his dark head, his hair so much like his father's, and they'd slipped out of the room.

The memory faded as they passed through the upper atmosphere and into the darkness of space. In that moment reality crashed down on him as he caught sight of his reflection in the window, old and alone. As a tear slid down his cheek he remembered all of the time he and Shepard had spent in this room between missions, first to talk and try to rebuild the trust that had been damaged between them but eventually as a place to simply relax together if only for a little while. His vision blurred by tears he swore for a moment that he saw her face reflected in the glass beside him smiling but as he lifted his hand to touch the image it vanished – nothing more than the desperate wish of a broken heart.

"Kaidan?" Liara spoke softly behind him. "We're almost there. We thought we should all be on the flight deck when we docked."

He nodded his assent, needing a moment to collect himself but instead of leaving Liara stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. She was quiet for a long moment, not saying the platitudes that she knew he would find meaningless. Instead she gave a small smile. "Do you remember the first time I came aboard the Normandy? I was so young and inexperienced and felt completely out of my depth. I'd never had much contact with humans so at first I kept saying the wrong thing. Shepard always listened and humoured me, always treating me with kindness even when I made a complete fool out of myself."

He could remember all of it. "We were both young and foolish then I suppose. I remember the rumours flying around the ship about the two of you and worrying that I'd somehow misread the signals."

Hiding her embarrassment behind a huff of laughter she admitted. "I was a little bit in love with her. To be honest I think we all were in our own ways but it was only ever you that she looked at like that. Even after everything that happened it was always you Kaidan."

"Thank you Liara."

"I always knew she was the better shot you know." Garrus surprised them by admitting as he and Tali joined them. "Every time I challenged her I knew she messed up the last shot to let me win."

"She gave me back my home." Tali said with a small sniff as she stepped closer to Garrus.

"I can't imagine what you're going through right now Kaidan but we're here if you need us."

Kaidan managed a smile. "Thanks, all of you. For being there for her, for being here now."

Together they made their way up to the bridge and found the others gathered around the CIC with James opening a bottle of Serrice Ice brandy. Waiting until the glasses had been passed out he raised his glass in salute. "To Shepard and to the Normandy." They observed a moments silence, each caught up in their own thoughts until EDI indicated that they were approaching the destination. Gathering on the bridge they all watched as the station came into view. After the rebuilding on Earth had finally been completed and the Alliance bases were functioning again preparations had begun for a memorial which would orbit in the exact location the Citadel had occupied. It would serve as a permanent reminder not only of the thousands lost through the beam but of the hundreds of men and women killed when the Reapers had decimated the fleets stationed above Earth during the invasion. On Shepard's death a decision had been made to decommission the Normandy and forever memorialize the famous ship by putting it on display in a specially designed dock where they could keep her safe from the ravages of time. This had presented a problem as EDI was so closely integrated with the ship but Liara had come up with a solution and with EDI's blessing had transferred her core processing units to the base where she managed all of her activities as the Shadow Broker.

As Cortez manoeuvred the ship into dock Kaidan took a final glimpse out of the cockpit windows at the millions of stars shining brightly. He had teased her all those years ago about dreaming about the stars because she was restless at heart and enjoyed going out into the galaxy to save people from themselves. But he'd never forgotten the way she'd looked at him with a smile as she'd reached up to stroke his jaw.

_No I dream about the stars because I always know that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, you're out there amongst them waiting for me._

* * *

That night he slipped her wedding ring and dog tags onto his own chain and slipped them all over his head. Her engagement ring she had bequeathed to Ashley, the small note they'd found on the dresser written by hand wishing that their daughter would find the same happiness as she had found with Kaidan. The words and his daughter's watery smile had made him proud even as the grief had lain like a crushing weight over his heart. Now as he sat at her desk running his hand over the scarred surface he felt all of the aches and pains that age had brought him. In their own ways both he and Shepard were as scarred as the surface of the desk. The silence of the house was deafening and there was nothing he wouldn't have given to hear the familiar sound of her voice or the measured way she'd always moved around the kitchen - anything to dispel the inescapable reality that she was gone. He supposed that no matter how much time they'd had together it would have never been enough for him. She had changed his life forever the moment they'd met on the Normandy. He could still remember it so clearly. She had been passion and purpose, the fire of her spirit drawing them all to her and forging an unbreakable bond of loyalty and friendship. Though that could never compare to what he alone had found with her.

Standing he returned the chair to its original position and switched off the lights, glancing over his shoulder as he began to close the door behind him. Shafts of moonlight filtered through the window, illuminating the desk and for the briefest moment he could see her sitting there, chin in hand as she pored over a stack of reports. Then it was gone again and he felt the echoing emptiness of the house they'd shared around him. Even their bedroom seemed too large now as he stood slowly unbuttoning the collar of his uniform that now felt like a noose. Had the room always been this cold? Sitting on the edge of the bed the lamplight caught the band he had worn proudly on his finger for so many years. He felt the hot tears gather as he raised the ring to his lips and kissed it, wishing he could tell her just how much he missed her. Lying down on the cool sheets he stared at the ceiling as a bone deep weariness seemed to pervade his body. The memories of her were too strong here. Maybe if he closed his eyes he could feel her beside him, making him whole again.

Letting his eyes slide shut the images began to play out in his memory, the first time he'd seen her, Shepard in her unmistakable black and red N7 armour guns in hand and ready for battle, lying beneath him her head thrown back against the pillow on that night before Ilos, the last time he'd seen her on the SR-1 as she'd gone to rescue Joker, Horizon, the Presidium, Palaven, her slightly nervous grin on their wedding day, pregnant with David – the images of their life flashed by so quickly, what he wouldn't give to go back and relive them all again.

As his consciousness began to fade he swore he heard her quiet laughter echoing around him though he knew it was only in his mind.

_When this is over I'm going to be waiting for you. You'd better show up._ Her voice slipped through his mind, a small balm to his wounded heart. _I love you._

"I love you too." He whispered into the darkness as sleep finally claimed him, his body stilling as it released a long sigh.

* * *

The sun was just peeking over the horizon as she made her way through the cemetery, a small hand grasped in hers. The scent of spring blossoms hung heavy in the air, the crickets chirping in the early morning light and the birds resting in the trees the only observers to their passing. The lawn was always well maintained around the site with bright perennials swaying gently in the breeze that came off of the bay.

The memorial next to Alliance Command in the city and the one in London accommodated the bulk of the tourists coming to experience their piece of the legend of Commander Shepard but a few made the trip out of the city to the cemetery. At least once a year a representative of the different races would come to lay a wreath at her grave in respect. Liara had come when Wrex and Bakara had brought their children a few months ago, regaling them with stories of her parents' skill and bravery. But at this time of the morning they were alone as they approached the large headstone that sat atop the small hill.

Ashley Alenko-Davies knelt beside her son as he ran his fingers over the letters cut into the granite. Carefully she helped him read the words knowing full well he would latch on the words _hero_ and _saviour_ over the others. As expected his eyes grew large as they reached the words and with an exuberant whoop he jumped up and turned to his mother with eager eyes.

"That's my Grandma and Grandpa isn't it mommy? The ones from all of your stories!"

"They certainly are."

Her heart swelled with love as she watched Kai run through the grass, lifting his toy model of the Normandy into the air as he pretended to destroy his imaginary enemies. Seeing him reminded her of when she had been a little older than Kai and her mother had taken her to the Citadel on one of her frequent trips. The Normandy had been like a second home to her filled with aunts and uncles that spoiled her and her brothers rotten but the Citadel had been like nothing she had ever seen before. She had been awestruck by the beauty and vibrancy of the place but what had drawn her young attention most were the delicate gardens and lakes in the Presidium. While her mother met with the Council Ashley had managed to slip away from EDI and had run down to the water's edge looking for the fish she'd overheard one of the Krogan talking about. As only a child could she had quickly lost track of how long she'd been playing before her mother found her running around the gardens with bare grass stained feet and clothes dirty from rolling around and playing with the water. Standing there in full dress uniform while EDI apologized profusely for losing sight of her, her mother had merely raised an amused eyebrow at her messy daughter. Uncaring of the shocked looks from the bystanders her mother had swung her legs over the railing and lain down beside her on the grass and they'd shared a mischievous grin as Ashley launched into stories about fish and the occupants of the shuttles she'd seen zipping overhead. When it had finally been time to head back to the Normandy her mother had gathered her up in her arms and held her close as she'd gently admonished her for causing her and EDI to worry. Ashley had never run off like that again but her parents had taken her back to the Presidium. Her father had wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and had hidden his laughter behind an affectionate kiss to her temple as he'd watched his daughter charm the Turian groundskeeper into letting her play on the grass again. With a sad smile she refocused on the present as her fingers drifted to the other words carved into the headstone.

_Beloved wife and mother._

_Beloved husband and father._

The legend of her mother would never be forgotten and both her parents would always be known as heroes but to her and her brothers they were so much more. Their mortal remains would forever lie side by side as they would have wanted but she hoped that her parents were together, whatever waited for them beyond this life. Her mother had once said that it would be an end once and for all but what she remembered most was a comment Uncle Garrus had made years ago about them all meeting up at the bar and reuniting with all of the friends they had lost so long ago and it seemed fitting. As a breeze drifted by the prayer her mother had taught her so many years ago wove its way through her mind.

_Kalahira, this one's heart is pure but set by wickedness and contention. Guide him to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. _

As the sun rose higher in the sky and the larks took flight she straightened, scooping her giggling son up in her arms and kissing him soundly on the cheek as he excitedly explained the fantastic battles he'd been taking part in.

"I'm not sure Grandma would like you running off with her ship." She teased.

Kai gave her a strange look, his whiskey coloured eyes so much like his grandfather's. "Don't be silly mommy. Grandma is there too, look!" his small finger pointed at the cockpit windows. "See she's right there with Grandpa next to Uncle Joker and Aunt EDI."

Satisfied that he'd made that clear he wriggled in her arms to get down before going back to flying his Normandy as she laughed helplessly at his infallible logic. Glancing up at the sky she knew that wherever they were her parents watched over them with love and pride.

_Mom, dad, I miss you both so much. _Ashley smiled even as she felt tears sting her eyes. _Someday we'll meet again across the sea but not yet, I still have my own journey to finish._

With one last look at her parents resting place she turned, taking her son's hand and began following the path back down the hill towards her own future.


End file.
